Let’s talk about – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Helping but not

January 28, 2026

Watching a movie, I was reminded of parenting skills that Cindy and I have learned. We knew little of these techniques when our first child was born. As our kids grew, we grasped concepts from our folks. Some, we decided, had worked. Others were thrown out with that day’s garbage.

I will share some of the better ones with you:

Give your kids space. The time to keep them close is when they are young. As they grow, the time and type of closeness also change. Each person is different in the freedom they need. Some of us need our parents for a longer period than others may.

Set rules, but as they mature, make them guidelines. Every child needs to learn how to operate in the world they will live in. Your job is to teach them how to make the decisions they will need to make to live in a civilized world. Not all the prisons and graves are full of the children of bad parents. Some kids turn out decent despite being taught the wrong things.

Be their parent and remember that someday you want to be a friend. Try to be friends too soon, and they will not have the chance to be instructed by the parents that we all need. I never had to make it without my mom and dad. They were strict when I needed it and a friend when it was called for. We raised our kids the same. Now they have their own kids and don’t need parents. We are friends, advisors, and help them when they ask.

Quality time also means more time. Some parents think that the few minutes they give their children are enough if they are used well. When I ask what they do with them in those short periods of time, they have no actual answers. Usually, they can’t remember what they do with their kids.

There are books on parenting that are helpful and ones that are full of a lot of crap. The ones that helped us might not be as useful for you. You must keep in mind that your child(ren) are unique individuals. You are the one who will help them become adults. What type of grown-ups will they be? That is not your choice; it is theirs.

Children should be given responsibilities that are suitable for their age. Toddlers should pick up after themselves. They should eat, sleep, and listen to instructions. Don’t wait until they rebel against being treated inappropriately to allow them to mature. Think about the mistakes your parents make and realize that sometimes, when you think you are helping, you are not.

True love is worth it

January 26, 2026

You may get tired of hearing me talk about things that I have heard on rom coms. I am married, and this is something that Cindy and I do together. We also make quilts, do home renovations, shop, and visit our grandchildren together. I DVR movies just for me that are not romantic comedies. I get to watch these by myself.

I wanted to speak of true love. Can you define what love is? It is not an emotion. It is not a hole that you fall into. It is something that you choose to do. You love someone that you want to love. Some people get married and then divorce because they do not love their spouse anymore. That is a decision they make.

I hope you have not experienced this. I know some whose marriages ended because their spouse did not want to be married anymore. Everyday Cindy and I decide that we want to love each other. Sometimes this may not be an easy decision for you and your spouse.

That means that we want to be together. We want to be kind and patient. We decide to treat each other as we want to be treated. We stay faithful to each other. We do not have to be together all the time, and we do not have to agree on everything. We do have to decide to go out of our way to get along.

Most couples who have been married for twenty-five or more years feel this way. Feeling trapped after you have been married for five or ten years is normal. What you need to do is determine whether you will stay together. When Cindy and I were married, our wedding vows included “till death do us part.”

We also promised to stay together “for better or worse, in sickness or in health.” Many modern vows I have read in the last forty years do not cover these things. Flowery language is more about a spiritual type or physical form of love, and not a true or lasting love.

Sex is not lasting. Satisfying lust will not sustain you. The next time you and your spouse or live-in have a disagreement, discuss whether you intend to stay together. If you have children together, think of them. Children of parents who do not stay together have emotional problems. They have problems at school and at home. Consider how your relationship will impact them.

I am asked whether I thought Cindy and I would ever divorce. My reply is, “No.” I feel that way because I had no desire to take the easy way out. When we have difficulties, I want to solve them. I am willing to take second place in my family’s lives. Nothing is as important to me as our girls and their mom.

Impeach Trump

January 20, 2026

He began his second term as president, violating his oath of office. This was done within forty-eight hours of the inauguration. He has continually made executive orders that have required our judicial system to waste time and money overturning what he wants done.

He has now kidnapped a man and his wife, whose government is friendly with three of our greatest enemies. His motivation for this is supposedly for national security, when he is the one who has had us murdering their citizens on the seas and claiming they are transporting drugs without any legal proof.

From the news reports I have seen, the main motivation is to get access to crude oil. Where is the United Nations? Why are none of our allies denouncing the use of our military to depose a leader in another country, even if he is a dictator? I do not believe that anyone wants to oppose him.

I do not like to be political. My problem is that some have told me they cannot believe Christians like me support this madman. Their words, not mine. I am constantly reminded of others who claim to be followers of Jesus, who apparently see no problems with his actions.

Let me set the record straight. I am not a Republican. I am not a Democrat. I am non-partisan. I have never voted for Donald Trump and would be more likely to vote for a dead dog. I have known the man to be unreliable, uncaring, and only out for his own profit for as long as I have heard of him, for the last three or four decades.

I am sure there are Republicans who agree with me. They need to voice this dissatisfaction and denounce the man and any others who continue to support him. Here is what I propose. Vote against every Republican who refuses to publicly oppose these actions.

Vote against anyone else who does not speak against his actions to control states, cities, and other countries. The actions of his administration appear to be those of a

dictatorial government. He says that he knows he is not a king. The problem is that his decisions appear to some of us to be confirming what others say about President Trump.

Apparently, we also need Congress to defund the INS, including ICE. Shut them down and fire every employee. When you have impeached Trump, inform Vice President Vance that his administration has three months to prove that they can rebuild what Trump has tried to destroy, including our immigration department.

With the problems that his all-out war on so-called illegal immigrants is causing, he needs to go. He is killing Americans, and those who are here legally are being deported without due process. Stop this now, or it will be stopped in 2027 after an all-new Congress has been elected and one-third of the senators have been replaced.

We will not forget what you have done to our people and country. We elected you to lead us. Do it now or find another job. We are mad as hell and will not take it anymore. If you do not believe me, we will see who is laughing in November. As President Trump is infamous for saying, “You are fired!”

AS MUCH FUN AS WATCHING PAINT DRY

January 10, 2026

Many of us have used this phrase. It has a great deal of meaning. However, while painting a room in our home, I stood and looked back at the first wall I had applied paint to and noted the color change from the wet, to the partially wet, not quite dry, and completely dry colors. The shades were different. It was subtle, but it was there.

Maybe it was the lighting on this bright day. I had all the windows open because the curtains were down. Maybe it was the Christian music playing in the background as I worked that made me more contemplative. Nonetheless, paint drying had a lesson to teach.

Things are different as you start a task, proceed through the various stages of it, and finally reach completion. Never judge a job before you finish it. All you will have is discouragement. Often, I have partially completed projects. When I delay completing a task, it seems that I never get back to it.

My wife and I bought our current home on a bridge loan. This is a short-term mortgage that allows up to a year to avoid paying a second payment while you sell the old property. Our new home had nothing that needed to be done before we moved in. The old house was full of unfinished tasks.

I repaired windows, flooring, ceilings, and more than I can remember at this time. That was after we moved twenty years of accumulated possessions to our new home. Six months later, we were still trying to sell it. Our agent helped us place a price, and we had one offer that was then canceled when we failed an inspection.

We repaired everything on his list and received another offer. This one is for less than the first one. We countered, and the buyer accepted the counteroffer, which was still not at our asking price and included other repairs. I finished the few simple changes they wanted and closed the deal.

I did not spend any time watching paint dry while working on this project. After twenty years in this house, we have made some repairs and changes, and these include painting. I still think back to that time when I noticed the color variations and have confirmed this process with every paint job we’ve tackled.

Life is full of constant changes, some setbacks, and some advancements. Keep going and try something new tomorrow. You never know what you can do until you try. Step out of your comfort zone and see what world-changing observations you can make while you watch paint dry.

WHERE ARE YOU IN LIFE?

December 30, 2025

2026 will begin on Friday and this is the (?) New Year I have seen. The first eight or so, I do not remember. Since 1961 I have been amazed at the way we greet the turning of the pages in the chapters of time. Many are making resolutions this time of year and promising themselves to change who they are or what they do.

I decided not to make these types of choices. I have attempted to define corrections to be made daily. Life is a process. Mine began over seventy years ago. Yeah, that makes me an old fart. For some of you, I am your contemporary. That means that you are also a baby boomer or old.

For others you are in your teens or twenties. Some are new parents; others have teenagers of your own. Our daughters now fall into this category. That is what I want to talk about in this column. We are all in a stage of life. As we begin the new year I am looking at where I am.

I dislike the way many writers describe the generations. Gen X, Z, Y, A, PDQ all mean something different to all of us that refer to these broad strokes in our stories. You need to know what I mean when you are reading what I produce. Let’s talk about where we are at this moment.

Are you beginning your life? You may be a teenager, young adult, parent or in another group. Refer to yourself in the most positive way that is available. I tell people I am good looking. When you look at my picture, you may not agree. That’s fine. You’ve been wrong before and so have I.

These are opinions. They are like noses and most of us have them. One problem some of us have is we take other’s ideas as truth. They may be wrong as well. I don’t want to lie to you and there are even politicians and salesmen that do not want to lie to us. They may think that is their job. They are also wrong.

As you begin 2026, try not to be one of those. My Bible says that I am to tell the truth but use love to make it more palatable. That means it is easier to swallow. We all know the song “Just a Spoon full of Sugar.” It does make the medicine go down. When I tell people things that they may not want to hear, I attempt to do it in a sweeter way.

Join me in this and I will spend this year helping you to stay on track and you can comment below and try to keep me on track. Do not be afraid of this button. The way my pages are programmed I see your comment and I will not send it out to everyone. WordPress has a safety feature that blocks comments that have nothing to do with a story. I don’t see these.

When you start out rude or try to use my site for your own purposes, it is blocked. Most advertisers or scam artists have already learned this about me. If you do not want what you say to me to go to anyone else, start out with Off The Record. This is reporter speak for “don’t tell anyone I said this.”

My advice to you is to do this in your personal life. When you are told you are stupid, ugly, don’t know what you are talking about, or any other negative comment, block it out of your life. Make it off the record in your own soul. Don’t ever remind yourself about these comments.

This is why good social media sites have a blocking feature. When they do not, I do not use them. Some of my social media contacts have lost their connection with me by attempting to speak their opinions as if they are the truth. Even the President of the United States does this.

For this year, wherever you are in life, make it a better year. When your child says, “I hate you” understand they are children. You are an adult, even if you are only fourteen. When you became a parent, you had to become a grownup even if you don’t want to be. I speak of this often on these pages. Follow me this year and let’s work on our lives together.

“Happy New Year.”

Give the gift of improbability

December 15, 2025

Once again, the Missouri Lottery is running commercials with the tag line of “Give the gift of possibility.” Keep in mind that I would rather have the money you spend on this. Read the disclaimer on the ticket telling what the odds are. If you give me the few dollars you would spend, I will put it in my IRA, and in a few years, it will be worth something.

I like to remind players of the lottery that this is a self-imposed tax. I was happy when you voted for this many years ago. I am also pleased each time you approve a gambling issue on the Missouri ballot. It never costs me anything and may keep the legislators from increasing my taxes.

I have purchased lottery tickets when the prizes have increased to multiple millions of dollars. I believe God blesses me. He has given us prizes in drawings. I’ve never won if I had to pay for the chance to win. There is a difference between what is possible and what is probable.

Your probability of winning these games is in the millions to one. You are more likely to be hit by lightning or by a satellite falling out of orbit. If you want to give me a gift, then give me the money. Once, I was in a family gift exchange where our suggested limit was ten dollars. I received a gift that I knew had only cost one dollar. I felt cheated. At least at the end of the day, I had something.

When the receiver scratches off a losing card, they are not the only losers. You have lost the respect and possibly even the friendship of not just the person you gave it to. You may also offend everyone who hears what your present was.

I know that some of the scratcher’s cards cost more than a few dollars. I’ve been told that ten- and twenty-dollar tickets are given as gifts frequently. That makes it ten or twenty times as bad because you gave the money that you could have given to me to the government.

May I suggest that you burn that bill and put the ashes in an envelope with a note stating that before you burned it what it would have been worth. I think I will start making some gifts like this and keeping them with me, and when I open a gift with a lottery ticket in it, I will hand them my gift. When they thank me, I will return the sentiment.

I have participated in gag gift exchanges before. If you haven’t, the idea is to give something humorous or of little to no value. This would be a perfect time to give lottery tickets or envelopes with burned paper and a note that tells them you burned a one-hundred-dollar bill. These will both bring a laugh, rather than a groan.

Christmas is the Ekklesia

December 13, 2025

God gave me this for you this Christmas. I am not a poet. He gave David and others the songs they sing. This is the one He gave me for you.

Christmas is not just one day.

It should be in me every day.

How can I do that?

Can I put You in my heart?

Will I keep You from the start

of each day?

It is the gathering together,

The Ekklesia,

Is the gift that Jesus gave me.

Not for one day. For all my life.

Where do you gather to touch others’ lives?

Your church is where I return,

As often as I can.

They know me as the Savior does.

They love me because

You tell them that is who You are.

Christmas is not Santa,

Or a tree, or lights.

It is your Church.

Christmas means Santa

December 6, 2025

I have been researching the mythology of Christmas for years. When we had our first child, I told my wife that I did not want to perpetuate the falsehoods about Saint Nicholas. My thinking was that if we intentionally told them lies, they would not believe in God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. She disagreed with me, and guess what? We did it her way.

We repeat the stories that we have heard. Nicholas made and delivered toys to the local children in his village. His parents’ wealth enabled him to do this. Often, he left the gifts outside the doors of their homes. The British have Father Christmas, that is the personification of love. He was more focused on adults than children when the legends began.

When the story of Santa Claus came to the United States, Father Christmas was changed. The name came from the Dutch Sinterklaas, and in Pennsylvania, we got the name Kris Kringle in the 1800s. Because of the melting pot of our culture, we have a varied tradition of celebrations this time of year.

You may have Hanukkah, Kwanza, Saturnalia, or other holy days that are part of your traditions. That is what freedom of religion in our Constitution guarantees. As Burger King says, have it your way.

Christmas music and movies are things I have discussed in previous columns. I don’t care what holidays you want to celebrate. The way you serve others on your high holy days is your business. Human sacrifices and property destruction are some of the areas where I think the line needs to be drawn.

Years ago, one of my seventh and eighth boys told me that he and a friend had bashed pumpkins on Halloween. I asked how he would have felt if young men like him had destroyed his decorations when he was younger. He looked like he understood what I meant.

Another student showed me the hood ornament that he had broken off a car the day before. I asked him if he knew how much it would cost to replace it. Of course, he did not know. I informed him of what I had been told by a friend that it cost him to replace one, and he seemed surprised. My point to him was that it was a joke. He would not want to cause that expense for his parents.

We make fun of how others worship, play, sing, or do just about anything. Not everyone who does these things intends to hurt others. They may just not think it through thoroughly. The historical St. Nicholas attempted to improve the lives of children and their families.

I hope that you try to be a good Saint Nick all year round. Finding ways to serve others is appropriate at any time of the year. He is not a mythical figure. He was a real man who tried to make a difference. Let us all see if we can be more like he was.

Prelude to a civil war

December 2, 2025

John Nickle from Facebook

This is what the prelude to a civil war looks like:

With its southern-dominated Democratic majority, the Senate approved the admission of Kansas as a slave state on March 23, 1858. In the House, the administration could count on at least half of the northern Democrats, as in 1854. But this time, that was not enough to win the battle.

“Battle” was not too strong a word for events in the House. On one occasion during an all-night session, Republican Galusha Grow of Pennsylvania walked over to the Democratic side to confer with a few northern Democrats. Lawrence Keitt of South Carolina shouted at him: “Go back to your side of the House, you Black Republican puppy!”

Replying with a sneering remark about slave drivers, Grow grappled with Keitt and knocked him down. Congressmen from both sides rushed into the melee. “There were some fifty middle-aged and elderly gentlemen pitching into each other like so many Tipperary savages,” wrote a reporter describing this 2:00 a.m. free-for-all, “most of them incapable, from want of wind and muscle, of doing each other any serious harm.”

But Alexander Stephens believed that “if any weapons had been on hand, it would probably have been a bloody one. All things here are tending my mind to the conclusion that the Union cannot and will not last long.”

My point of view:

This is history. It is politics at its worst. It is how division of thinking can be allowed to become outright violence, even among what are considered normally civilized people. These are the reasons the South seceded from the Union. Don’t say that this will not happen today.

This is exactly the type of split that has been happening in Congress over the argument about closing and then reopening the Federal Government. Are you smart enough to see that the separation into political parties just adds fuel to this type of blaze? When we take sides without weighing the pros and cons of an argument, we fail to have the opportunity for compromise.

Compromise is what businesses and governments are built on. Agreeing to disagree and get on with what needs to be done is what made companies grow and America great. America will not be great if our representatives cannot solve their own differences.

We are only as great as our weakest link, and at this moment, it seems to be our elected officials. When we vote next August and November, we need to ensure that the candidates we support can set aside petty partisan differences and get their jobs done. I believe the only way to do this is to elect non-partisan candidates.

Men are dogs

November 24, 2025

Have you heard of the book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?” In his book, John Gray uses this phrase to denote that males and females are from different cultures. Sometimes I think that we take the whole opposite sex theme a little too far. I believe this is what causes some to decide that they were born the wrong sex.

I’m not going to write the book “Men are dogs and women are cats,” but this column will be part of the chapter by that name in my book “Douloi Marriage.” What I mean by this is that they are very different, even though they can cohabit the same space.

Cindy and I have had cats and dogs in our house together over the years. We all know the phrase “fighting like cats and dogs.” There is also the weather report “raining cats and dogs.” Dogs and cats are two of the most popular domesticated pets.

Right now, Essa, the cat, is asleep on Cindy’s lap, and Biscuit, the dog, is relaxing next to them on the couch. I am on my laptop on the other end. One big happy family. Dog and cat, man and woman, are getting along quite well.

How are these four different? Dogs are often raised gently with humans and get used to being trained and loved. Cats can be as well. Our dog is like this. Our cat came from the Humane Society and was a rescue that did not like people or our dog.

Several months of living with us have changed this. This is where I want to compare her adjustment to what needs to be done in a marriage. We gave her the space and time that she needed. For a couple of months, she hid most of the day. She came out to eat and went to the box.

Let’s relate this to how communication in a marriage should work. When we first marry, we come from different cultures and environments. We each have fears and expectations. I was raised in a two-parent home. We had our share of problems, but we overcame them. Cindy was from a single-parent home.

She also had never met her father or had a father figure, other than her oldest brother, around the house. She had no idea how a wife should react to her husband. I knew to duck when the wife threw dishes. That was something my mom had done.

Cindy did not cook. I did. I also had been trained by my mom to do laundry, clean house, and many other womanly chores. Cindy learned all these things and how to mow and work on remodeling jobs. She paints with a roller better than I, and I get to cut in around the ceilings.

The point I am trying to make is that you find each other’s strengths. Do not even look at the weaknesses. Find ways to work together. Do what you are good at and teach them if they wish to learn. Husbands and wives do not expect the other one to do what they do not wish to do. Share those chores together.

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Walk With a Servant

Category: Let’s talk about