Let’s talk about – Page 7 – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

A day of death and destruction

March 24, 2023

Today is March 24^th, 2023. On this day in history many tragedies took place. More than on any other day? Probably not. I have been reminded of some events that took place in previous years.

In Jonesboro Arkansas on this date in 1984, four students and a teacher were shot to death by two students at West Side Middle school. These boys also shot eleven other students. Why? They were bullies. They were not close friends until they began their plans to kill as many as they could from their school.

One boy had been dumped by his girlfriend a few days before. They had nine weapons and over 2,000 rounds of ammunition. As in other school attacks, the plan included setting up in the woods outside the building and pulling a fire alarm. Then they waited until the doors opened and their victims walked out and were ambushed.

We ask ourselves what could have been done to prevent deaths after every attack of this kind. If we take every gun away from everyone we can, others will steal weapons as these boys did and stage similar ambushes.

What happened after these deaths? The boys were taken into custody. They were tried for murder and kept in juvenile detention until they reached their state’s majority age. They were released and returned to society. Their records were sealed, and they lived under assumed names.

One was jailed and spent time in prison for robbery. He was again released and was killed a few years later in an accident that was not his fault. The other shooter is assumed to be alive and has not been identified for his earlier crimes. He may be your neighbor or even mine.

My question is, should what we do as children or teenagers be used against us as we age? We all make mistakes. I never did anything to get me arrested. While I might have been angry with others and thought about hurting them, I never have. We need to decide as a state and nation how to deal with young people who have problems with the way they react to others. Should murders be accepted from any age?

Is lax punishment for juveniles one of the causes of younger violent offenders? We must look at all sides of these offenses. I mentioned this was a day of death and destruction. This event in 1984 was not the only one for this calendar date.

The Exxon Valdez went aground in 1989 and spilled millions of gallons of crude oil on the Alaskan coast. It was the worst spill at that time. In 1999 thirty-nine died in a tunnel between France and Italy. The fire in the Mont Blonk Tunnel took two days to extinguish.

Harry Houdini was born in 1874. I add this fact to stop anyone from saying that this column is only about tragedies. Every day on the calendar has good times to remember and tragedies. Take each day as the Lord gives it to you and live it as He wants.

Prejudice

February 1, 2023

It is easy to define prejudice. Break it apart. Pre means before. Judice is a form of judging. If you judge people before you know them personally, you are prejudiced. We often confuse this with bigotry. Bigotry is like racism where prejudice is due to an easily identified reason.

Prejudice does not have to be related to race or nationality. I have no problems with you if you are of a different color, race, or culture. However, for those of you who do stupid things, I immediately put you in the stupid or dummy category.

The stupid things that I am referring to are the way you drive, the way you treat others, decisions that you make which hurt others, and similar actions that violate my personal ethics. Yes, this is harsh. I admit it. I base whether I trust you on how you think of others.

I am also prejudiced against those who prejudge people but believe that their biases are justified or nonexistent. I have been watching this take place for many years. Those who are bigoted against white Anglo-Saxons accuse every one of them of being racist. An example of this is the statement that African Americans are racial, not racist.

Those who condemn all law enforcement personnel because of those that hurt others without justification are also prejudiced. When you lump all Republicans into one group like Donald Trump you are prejudiced. The same thing is to believe that all Democrats are like the ones that you disagree with like Nancy Pelosi.

Let’s look at what our prejudices are. Any group that you do not trust, or do not like is the one that you are discriminating against. Be man or woman enough to admit that you are not perfect. We must admit that we are like everyone else. We make good and bad choices.

I am not perfect and guess what, you are not either. If you have been accused of being prejudiced, look at the circumstances. Some of the stupid people I have problems with may be affiliated with a minority. Others could interpret their appearance as the reason for my prejudice. Either way, I should get over my prejudice.

I’m working on that. Join me in trying to be a better person. Avoid making hasty decisions about what you think of everyone until you can make an informed decision about who they are. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt. peel off the hide and we are alike.

CHOCOLATE

January 27, 2023

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hIlmOk6TUfc

As the Sunday School teacher for 7^th and 8th-grade boys, what they wanted to talk about on any given Sunday and what was in the curriculum supplied by the church was not the same thing. Do you discuss the topics of concern to these young men or follow a schedule set out by middle-aged men and women six to twelve months ago? That was always easy for me.

Often the topic of S-E-X would come up. They were curious. These were church boys. Their parents seldom talked to them about the subject unless they were forced to and then they got over it quickly. As a married father of first one, then two, and finally three children, in their eyes, I was an expert.

Let me pause here and explain what an expert is. My high school word study teacher was explaining to us students how to determine the meaning of an unfamiliar word. You break it into smaller portions and determine the meaning of it by combining the meaning of the parts. He said that ex means has been and that a spurt is a big drip under pressure. Therefore, an expert is a big drip under pressure.

I do not claim to be an expert on anything. I would listen to these young men and discuss what was of interest to them. When S.E.X. came up, I would tell them a story about when I was in junior high school and I stole a candy bar. The following day, I returned to the store and bought another snickers. When I gave the clerk enough to pay for two, she told me I gave her too much. That was when I informed her that I had taken one the day before and did not pay for it. She thanked me for correcting my mistake.

What does candy have to do with S.E.X.? I explained that there are correct and incorrect ways to do the same thing. It is not wrong to desire something like chocolate or sex. There is an appropriate method to go about each.

My stealing the candy was wrong. There is no excuse for what I did. God has commanded us to restrict sexual intercourse to one person to whom we are to be married. We may want to bypass that process. We need to accept that Jesus does not approve of this action. Our culture has changed during my lifetime. As a kid, TV shows never showed people who were not married having sex. Today it is accepted.

Movies and TV are promoting an illicit lifestyle by showing unmarried couples living together and having children. I don’t need to get into the reasons why children need a stable home life with two married parents. Everyone knows the tragedy of broken homes.

Back to chocolate. I told my students that they should say to their parents that we discussed chocolate if they asked what we talked about on those Sundays. One father asked me why his son said that we studied chocolate that week. I explained what it meant, and he thanked me for covering that subject with the guys.

In eighteen years, he was the only parent to even ask the question. Young people will only know what is acceptable by their parents or the Church telling them. Many have decided that we are old-fashioned in our position on this. I believe God’s commandments should be obeyed no matter what our culture accepts. I hope you agree with Him.

Pay Attention

January 25, 2023

I often mention to folks that I am so poor I can’t even pay attention. I also like to share with others that the main problems with America are ignorance and apathy, but I don’t know, and I don’t care. Yes, I understand that these are old jokes, and I don’t know how to tell a joke.

I want you to continue reading anyway because I am going to talk about a problem worse than gun violence. It has been a problem longer than Covid-19 and has been like the frog in the pot. You do not know about the frog? You cannot boil a frog as you do pasta. You must put him in the pot first. Add lukewarm water and turn the heat on low. If nothing scares him, he sits there and boils to death.

Yes, we are frogs, and this perpetual problem is not getting any better. Many years ago, I started telling people that we needed to change laws to make this problem more manageable. What kills all these innocent people, and our society does not want to take any steps to try to control it?

The problem is driving while under the influence. When I began complaining about this situation it was mostly drunk drivers. I witnessed an accident involving such a driver. I gave my contact information to the police and the victims. I was at the court for the trial and a plea bargain was made.

What angered me was the fact that it was his third offense of this type. He also did not have a valid driver’s license. The car he was in was not his. A friend had given him permission to drive. Witnesses had to stop him and a passenger from walking or staggering away from the accident.

What can be done to stop these offenses? On the first arrest, they should be required to spend time in public service. Preferably in a hospital or clinic that serves those injured in automobile accidents. They need to be shown what their actions cause. They should also be obliged to attend therapy sessions. If they complete this, they should be allowed to drive again with a device on the car that prevents it from starting if they are intoxicated.

The second offense should carry more public service and therapy. A longer suspended or revoked period on the driver’s license. Driving without a valid license should include permanent confiscation of the vehicle they are driving. The machine should be sold, and the proceeds used to compensate victims of these types of collisions. If they are not the owners, the police should look for a stolen vehicle report. Anyone who allows a DUI recipient to use their car should be warned that if it happens a second time, they will lose their transportation.

A third offense should require mandatory jail time and permanent exclusion from driving. We must stop being lenient on these offenses. Our legislature should be required to enact stricter laws on driving under the influence. This is even more important now that the recreational use of marijuana has been legitimized.

If legislators do not vote for increased penalties these folks should be removed from their positions. We also should investigate their background and stop them from being reelected, if there is any inappropriate use of alcohol or other substances. Those who would have reason to fear these restrictions do not need to be responsible for putting them in place. Stop the stupidity.

Falling in love

January 21, 2023

“I don’t love her anymore. I don’t remember when I did.” This is a line from “The Twilight Zone” episode that is titled “The Trouble with Templeton”. Actor Booth Templeton expresses his disdain to his servant about the current Mrs. Templeton’s dalliance and speculates on what his life would be like if his first wife had not died so young.

The episode ends when his first wife and best friend ask him to go back to where he came from. A disappointing end to time travel reminds us that we must continue to live even when life seems hard. Time travel is a common vehicle on this sci-fi anthology series from the 1960s.

The questions this brought to my mind were do we love because we must, or do we love because we want to? Love is a choice. Love is a verb. These are phrases you may have read in my articles before. It also is not an emotion as many believe.

The term making love is a misnomer, as well. Love is not a noun. It is not something that you can create. The proper term is having sex. There are other phrases that you can use without stating the acronym for the full use of carnal knowledge.

I have heard people using this excuse for divorce by saying they are no longer in love with their spouse. Men and women both reason their desire to end the relationship by this logic. Sometimes lack of sex is considered the indication they are no longer loved. Sex and love have no correlation.

Physical touch is one of the “Five Love Languages” talked about in Dr. Gary Chapman’s books. This demonstration of love is not always expressed through sexual contact. Couples continue to love and experience love when they no longer express their commitment through intercourse.

I will speak about the definition of this word in another column or series of columns. As you know, sometimes I have more to say about a subject than will fit into one piece. Keep in mind that much of what I share with you is not original to me.

I read a great deal. I research through files that I have collected over the last fifty years. Would you believe that I have maintained all my college class notes? I do use the internet; I like to fall back on older research materials.

The Bible is one of my favorite resources. I do not always quote chapters and verses when using the information and wisdom it provides. I am one of those oddballs that believe in the validity of scripture. It says that God is love and those who follow Christ are to love as He did. After all, He is God.

Paul tells us in his letters in the New Testament to love our spouses, children, and everyone that we know. Even the Old Testament commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus said this was the second most important of the commandments we received from the Hebrews.

Computer illiteracy

January 18, 2023

The picture was ancient. Two nice-looking girls were sitting at manual typewriters in a school room. You knew it was old because it was black & white, and their clothes were vintage. My comment to the question on Facebook “Do you remember this?” was “Yes, I am the guy behind the two girls.” Slightly out of focus and in the background was a young man with horn rim glasses and a white shirt. He was your typical nerd from the fifties and sixties. You couldn’t see his pocket protector, but I’m sure it was there.

My keyboarding career started that way. Typing class in high school. A few guys. Mostly girls getting a head start on their stimulating careers in the secretarial field. Today, I am using a laptop to write. That class at Hillcrest is not typing now but keyboarding and it will soon die because no one gets to high school without being able to use a keyboard. Most get that education in kindergarten.

Computers first came to my attention in grade school. It was the Univac that I saw in magazines and books. Then there was the IBM monstrosity that NASA used to compute trajectories for the Mercury missions. I never knew what a computer really was until I saw Secret Treasures. Who knew that people used to be called computers? We just called them smart kids.

Our first computer keyboard was on a Texas Instrument device smaller than my first AM radio. Then came the Commodore, the Atari, and the 86-format machine. That was the first with minor connectivity and its own monitor. The rest is plugged into the TV like your first video game. My first video game was brother Bud’s Pong.

I’ve run DOS and Windows 3 and up. I have not upgraded to eleven yet, but I am sure it will happen. I have wanted to be computer literate since I was in the third grade. I used my daughters as an excuse to get our first desktop machine. I still have floppy disks with my writing files on them. I should go back and look at some of those columns and stories.

Before COVID-19 shut down I took a class at OTC to learn about Windows Office. I learned about Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, and other programs that I have used for years. The difference now is I know how to use many functions that I had not mastered before.

Between video, audio, and word processing software, I feel I currently have mastery of the computer I need. What will come is a mystery to me. This is as true as it was in 1960.

I Do Not Resolve

January 3, 2023

Several years ago, I made a resolution before the new year, and I have not broken it to this day. Have you made a promise this year to do something that will change your life? This is the thing to do. You may be like me and have succeeded in previous years.

Some resolve to lose weight. I was skinny as a boy and through high school and college. When I was married my wife and I were young and trim. I had heard the joke about turning sideways and being mistaken for a zipper. As I grew older my weight increased and now, I am considered obese. I am working on this problem. I have never resolved to lose weight.

Smoking, drinking, taking narcotics, or other illegal substances have never been something that I do. I have activities that I enjoy. They are not illegal and in my mind are not immoral. Some of you would say, “I would never do that.” Good. If you do not enjoy it or think it is “not beneficial” to you, don’t do it. Make that a resolution.

What I am talking about is that when you recognize something as bad for you, stop doing it. I do not mouth off to stupid people. It can get you hurt. I learned that the hard way. I still say stupid things. Only to my friends. They understand.

If there is something that you should do, like bathing more often, eating breakfast, reading, spending time exercising, or just enjoying people, do it. Do it as often as you want. Except for eating breakfast. Once a day is enough.

Waiting for a particular time to do something is not the best way to make changes in your life. A friend of mine decided he would quit smoking. For years it was his New Years’ resolution. He rarely made it through January. Someone told him to quit the next time he finished a pack. That did not help.

One day he was at a business meeting and pulled out his cigarettes at break time to leave the building to take a smoke. Someone detained him to talk about sports or something that interested him. When the next open time came, he continued the conversation.

After returning home, he left the smokes at home. If he did not have them with him, he did not buy more. He found something else to take his mind off them. When he told me about this, he had quit for five months. The process started three years before and he still had that partial pack.

Setting goals is a good thing. The first of the year can be a good time. So can any time of the year. If you slip, start again. That is how I deal with my weight. Every time I overeat or eat the wrong things, I refocus my energy to do better. Sometimes I lose three or four pounds and only regain one or two. That is better than I have done in the past.

Oh, what was that last New Year’s resolution? I resolved to never make another one. It worked.

God Experience

December 12, 2022

Welcome my friend Tuesday. She is not an author. She shares stories on Facebook. She said I could share this. I hope it speaks to you as it does to me.

By Tuesday Welch

Just had a God experience and wanted to share.

Something I can’t stand is when people comment on my grocery cart, I have a family of 5 and I cook my own food, so I buy lots of ingredients. I was unloading my cart and a man made some comments about how much food I was getting. God clearly said, “Be gentle, be kind, let him speak.”

I firmly believe that if God gives a command your only response should be, “Yes, sir.” So, I did, I spoke to him and was kind. And after a little bit more of him chatting he revealed he had had a stroke and the left side of his body didn’t work right.

At first, I only responded, “Aw, I’m so sorry, that’s awful.” And then I heard God again, “That’s why. Now pray.”

I asked the man if I could touch his arm and pray, he seemed excited! He slightly raised his bum arm and I prayed. As I was praying, I felt Holy Spirit nudge me about the man behind us in line, that he was also supposed to be blessed somehow by this prayer.

Afterward, when I was outside putting my stuff in the car the man with the bum arm said to me, “God Is real and He loves everyone doesn’t He?” And he RAISED his left arm, WHILE holding a gallon of milk!

God puts people in our path, if we can learn to shut up, and shut out the noise of life we can be more open to seeing those people God sends to us. I saw God heal this man today. Maybe the man behind him in line is struggling spiritually and witnessing someone pray reminded him of a God who saves. A God who looks after and takes care of His own. He saw David alone in the field. He saw Elisha alone plowing with oxen. He sees you too, even when no one else does.

This isn’t a brag post (that would be gross) this is simply a testimony and a reminder:

Love on others, because God uses us when we let Him. Don’t give up on the strangers around you, they aren’t strange to God.

And Yes He does love everybody!!

Goodbye, Meow

December 9, 2022

Some of you will not relate to this column. Others will understand and some may have had similar tragedies in their lives. Thirteen years ago, our daughter’s family adopted a kitten. Their oldest girl gave it the name Meow. This was what she answered when asked what a cat says. They had a new baby girl at the time. She is now in Middle School.

meow has been slowing down the last few years. As we all must, she died tonight. For those of you who have fur babies and children, you know how this family is hurting.

I’ve buried a number of pets over the years. My wife did not grow up with dogs or cats around the house. When we moved into our second rental house and discovered that we could keep a dog in the fenced yard, we got our first dog. Our home has been blessed with many furry friends for over forty years.

Our daughters know the pain of losing a loved one because they have had these friends die. We have lost cats, dogs, gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs, bunnies, lizards, fish, and even a chicken that I called dinner. That last one left our home alive. We never asked the farmer who took him what happened after he went to the farm. The first chick we took in died a few days after it was brought home.

Life goes on even when we lose human loved ones. Being able to cope with this grief can be learned by children if they suffer the pain of losing a pet. Losing a cat is not as bad as having a family member die. For children, it can be as traumatic.

My grandmother and President Kennedy both died in 1963. I do not remember being that upset by either of those deaths. When we lost our cat, princess, weeks later, it bothered me a lot more. Dealing with death is difficult for anyone. Children can have trouble coping with these feelings.

Raising children and grandchildren is often challenging. I ask that you remember this family as they teach the kids how to cope with emotions that they have not experienced before. If your family is grieving over a loved one or a pet, I would like to say that I am sorry for your loss and hope that this article has helped in a small way. God bless you.

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Walk With a Servant

Category: Let’s talk about