Category: Music

Boy Named Sue

January 26, 2023

This morning on the radio there was a discussion about a man who suggested a technique for disciplining children during the period leading up to Christmas. He said to wrap gifts and put them under the tree early. When a child disobeys, take one and throw it into your fireplace.

The conversation turned to how traumatic this would be for the kids. One caller suggested using positive reinforcement instead of discipline. A DJ suggested using the gifts but telling the offending offspring that continued misbehavior would require the gift to be returned to Santa Claus.

Several points need to be considered when raising children. I am reminded of the Johnny Cash song “The Boy Named Sue.” If you know the song, I am sure you disagree with the father’s giving his son a girl’s name to turn him into a man who could defend himself. It is a stupid idea that hopefully no one ever actually did to their child.

Parents are not immune to producing ignorant ideas for teaching kids what they want them to learn. Some of the ideas of child-rearing that I mentioned are what to teach, how to teach, and when to teach.

Both the dad with the Christmas gifts that were fake that he threw into the fire and Johnny Cash’s father in “Boy Named Sue” was trying to make their children into adults who could be counted on in society. Maybe not in the way they wanted them to be.

Discipline is supposed to instruct youngsters in the things that they need to be productive, sensitive, and caring adults. An angry child will grow up to be an adult who is a powder keg. They may blow at any time. The boy named Sue will also be very volatile because he has been teased throughout his life.

Kiddos need to learn how to be adults. They need to have responsibility and independence at appropriate levels at a time when they can grasp the concepts and perform their best.  

My father made some mistakes with us. He probably was trying to raise us the way he was. Like me he was the youngest son and had a younger sister that was spoiled rotten. I know that because the older siblings continued to baby her even when I was old enough to see what they were doing. We tried not to do that to our girls. I hope we were successful. Were we, girls?

Love is the key to growing children as much as light and fertilizer are to growing plants. Just for the fun of it, add a little humor. I know all the comments about Dad jokes. Not all dad jokes are bad. There are also Mom jokes. It is just that no one tells her that hers are not funny.

Be watching for the column on love. I’ll use Paul’s definition to help you understand how to bring a child up knowing what love is and how to show it. That is for another day.

©Copyright 2023 by Charles Kensinger

He’s my Boy

September 19, 2022

We have heard many stories about blended families in our time. When I was a boy, almost all my friends had a mom and dad and at least one sibling. Many had more than one brother or sister as I did. Few of the kids I went to school or church with had last names different from one parent.

In high school, I began to meet others whose mother and father both had a family name that did not match theirs. The song “My boy” is about this type of situation. Elvie Shane wrote this song and it was first recorded in 2020. It is the true story of His wife and her son.

One of the lines that affect me the most is “He’s got somebody else’s eyes I’m seeing myself in.” When my children and grandchildren were born people commented on their features. “She has your nose” or your eyes or your teeth. That’s right. When my daughters were born, they had my dad’s teeth. He didn’t have any real ones in his mouth. They were man-made.

The serious part of this line is “I’m seeing myself in.” We need to stop and view ourselves through the eyes of children. They do not judge. They can measure their worth through how we treat them. My kids and grandkids react to me as the one who is trying to be funny. “Don’t take Pawpaw too seriously” is the byword around me. How does your son or daughter react to you?

Keep in mind that Mr. Shane and his boy do not have the same name. It makes no difference to a true dad. The emotions are the same. Love is a choice. It is a verb. His boy knows that he loves him because he hasn’t missed a ballgame yet. A dad is there for what is important to his kid.

My mom and dad were at the important events in my life. The school activities like open houses and annual fundraisers. In my senior year in high school, they even came to watch my debate partner and me compete against the two best speakers in our school. There was no official decision after. When we got home, they told me they thought I had won. That was love.

This is what should never change. The love of a parent for a child is present when they are at your death bed, and you see the pain in their eyes. They think they are losing you. You know his step is necessary if you want to spend eternity together as believers in Christ. That is also love.

Some fathers have walked away. Not Elvie. This young man is not his entire life. He is an integral part and is making him a better dad. Your children make you a better mom or dad because they test your love and your patience. Paul tells us in first Corinthians chapter 13 verse four that love is patient and kind. That will make a family last.

©Copyright 2022 by Charles Kensinger