Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

‘Hey man, you good?’

May 27, 2025

I just heard about this program that began in September of 2023. It was started by the Healthy Living Alliance of the Ozarks. The hope is to reduce the suicide rate for men in our area. Men account for 80% of suicide victims in our country. We are only around 50% of the population.

Why do we kill ourselves more often than women? We have been told not to cry. We are to man up and internalize our emotions. We do not want to look weak in front of our wives, kids, and other men. When we do not ask for and receive help, this causes us to fall victim to depression and succumb to unhealthy emotions.

This new program is supposed to get you and me to ask each other, “Hey man, you good?” Then as we tell each other, “Yeah, I’m fine” don’t accept that answer. Ask questions. Confess your own times of needing help. Ask for help and offer it.

I want you, my readers to know that I am like 53% of men in Greene County and had thoughts of suicide in the last year. Earlier this year, I walked away from home with the intention of not returning home alive. Others intervened and I was not successful. Without their help, I would not be here.

That was not the first time I wanted my life to end. I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to recognize that I am no different from you. If you have never felt this kind of frustration with your life, count yourself fortunate. My hope is to get you to open up and share your story.

Start with me. Comment below and let’s share e-mail addresses. If you are close to Springfield, MO, let’s meet. I will share what gets to me and why I need help. You can tell me what’s up and we can find some others that we can join and back each other up. For those that are not local to me, we will put you in contact with men in your area that will be your support group.

We know we can’t continue to do this alone. Let’s be men, take charge of our lives and admit that we need each other. It is not just your life. It includes your family and friends. Doctors are researching the effects of genes on suicidal tendencies. This will take years to determine. I can answer some of these questions now.

Suicide is contagious. It is hereditary. There is no bacteria, virus, or gene that transmits it. It is passed along by making others think that what we did is acceptable to them. Have you heard the question, “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it as well?” This is the attitude at work here.

When we use drugs, alcohol, or sex to deal with our problems the first time, we are not considered an addicts. We follow the lead of others to begin. These things are known to be unhealthy if not controlled properly. Our emotions are the same. Letting them control us is not beneficial.

Don’t let depression, anxiety, or grief drive your actions. You can oversee your decisions. No one and nothing should be your boss. You hold the reigns. Drive your own wagon. Substances, emotions, or others should not be allowed to determine your path.

Remember the next time you talk to family or friends to ask how they are. Do not always take the answer that they are fine as the last word. Follow Regis Philbin’s lead and ask if that is their final answer. Let them know that you care about how they are. Be a true friend and show concern.

In his book “Manhood”, Senator Josh Hawley talks about a friend that took his own life. The last time he spoke to him he thought that something was wrong. As we men are prone to, he did not pry. Now he wishes he had. If you have not read this book, you need to. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman. Republican or not.

Hawley explains what a man should be and why. I find his explanations and reasoning to agree with my own beliefs. Check it out and make your own decision. Your eyes might be opened.

Warriors of the past

May 25, 2025

Memorial Day is traditionally a day when those in the United States and especially Springfield Christians remember ones who have died. As thoughts of friends and family have flowed there are some that should be shared with you. When you read these words, ponder on those you have lost that bring back similar memories.

Mom and Dad were the type of parents who took their children to Sunday School and church every week when they were young. As teenagers they allowed them to choose a different church to attend despite their moving to another congregation. Prayer was always one of Mom’s methods of ministry. Dad served in more practical ways as a bus driver. This tradition of service has made their son who he is today.

Everett Long and Lester Stratton were two teachers who demonstrated how to lead young men to become the men they were called to be. Lester was in his sixties and retired at the time. He was the oldest high school student your writer ever met. He was a mentor and a friend to his classmates.

Everett was the teacher who made us question our own salvation experiences when he made a public profession of faith while teaching Sunday School and being an ordained Deacon in the church. At his baptism, many admired him for his bravery to openly admit he had been playing church all his adult life.

Brother Maples, the elderly minister encouraged the young preacher boy with the comment that he did not feel like he had been in church if he did not have to shine his shoes when he got home. The ministers’ job is a rough one and Allen knew that from his years in the pulpit. He is also the one who first used the phrase, “It’s a good day when you can sit up and take solid nourishment.

Vern is another friend who has gone home to be with the Lord. When asked to teach a senior adult men’s class years ago, thoughts of being with men twice my age and trying to lead them in Bible study were troubling. With Vern’s encouragement, it was possible. That became an experience that will never be forgotten.

My friend from high school, Mark, was another hero of faith. Instead of being depressed after a stroke, heart attacks, and eventually having his aorta explode while having an angiogram, he accepted a call to the ministry while in his sixties. He became our church’s senior adult minister as a volunteer. When he went home to Jesus, we all wept and rejoiced.

As we pause on this Memorial Day, remember those who have been in your life. I could spend hours telling you stories of others that have meant a great deal in my life. Keep tuned to this site to hear more of these as the years proceed. If you want to share a story of your own, post it in the comments below.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

May 23, 2025

Twenty-five years working for a power transmission distributor starting in purchasing, going to sales both inside and outside, and taking the office manager position which led to the operations manager, has put me in a unique place to know what customer service should be and what it usually is not. What we strive for is treating the one we are serving in a way that would be pleasing to ourselves, if in their shoes. That is the Golden Rule. “Do to others as you want them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:11-13)

I say we strove for that knowing that often that high peak is not attained. The difficulty there was in recognizing what was needed to please the one we served, not in identifying who the customer was. In purchasing it may appear that we do not need to supply customer service because we do not have any customers. My philosophy is shared by many in the purchasing profession. Our customers are those who have requested products or services ordered by us.

We indeed work for the same company they do. It is also true that not respecting the person and delivering the needed outcome may adversely affect our employment status. Aside from the possibility of reprimand or even termination, I strive to deliver my “customers” the best service I can because my work is to be “as unto the Lord”. (Colossians 3:23-24)

I never had a job title of customer service representative (CSR). One of my managers referred to me as the best CSR in his region. He pointed out to me that I was not one of the best salespeople. That disqualified me for being given a position that was considered a sales job. My title at one point was sales service specialist. This was what others called a salesman.

One radio host is well known for talking about customer no-service. What he wants us to realize is that companies we deal with do not put service ahead of getting the order. This manager of mine showed me that the most important part of what our employees did was to close a deal. Service was not important.

This was the same company that issued business cards that had sales service specialists on them, not salespeople. I call this hypocrisy. This is saying one thing but doing the opposite. I left that company and returned to purchasing and retired as a purchasing manager almost twenty years later.

Instead of overseeing delivering the best service for a company I became the one that judged if this business and others employed those that gave the quality of product and service that I had proven that I would give. I believe the customers lost on that transaction.

14 years and counting

May 21, 2025

That is correct. March 24th is the anniversary of the first article I published on Examiner.com. In 2011 they began making my pieces available to you. Examiner.com was a respected way for authors to build an audience and polish their prose.

Wordsmiths have many reasons why they need or want to express themselves. Writing can be an obsession or a casual means of telling others what you are thinking. Some write even when they have no hope of being published. For a Christian from Springfield, MO this was a great opportunity.

As a child, the urge to record one’s thoughts started early. A newspaper with a friend was not successful. Who wants to read what nine-year-olds know about? Just because you win a small printing press selling seeds door to door, does not make you a publisher. When the Pipkin Jr. High School newspaper staff was chosen, it was another disappointment. Missing that English class because of Spanish class was unavoidable. Missing out in High School had to be prevented.

Journalism I class in my junior year was a favorite. The assignments were not work. Putting pen to paper has always been enjoyable. Being selected as feature editor senior year was disappointing. Page three is not as impressive as page one. Articles were published all over The Herald even though writing and editing features were my focus. The Highlighter even features sports photos from my personal camera.

Creative writing was the best Southwest Missouri State University offered as a major in the 70‘s. Focusing on getting accepted to Missouri University’s Journalism School was the main thing. Saving money was also important. When the acceptance letter came from them in 1974, being published was not the priority anymore.

Those of you who place God’s will above your desires know why years can change your focus. When I was laid off in 2009, I saw a job description and Examiner was the opportunity to return to being published as God is obeyed. I continued looking for full-time work. My unemployment lasted over three years.

When Examiner stopped publishing my articles and eventually stopped working with everyone, I began my own website. That has been my method of sharing what I write for the last nine years. My web page was self-titled for years. It is now called DouloiGroup.org as you know. Doulos is the Greek word for servant and Douloi is the plural.

I have plans to add more options to my offerings including fiction, complete daily Bible studies or even videos. I would be happy to promote your materials on my website. I just need to be able to view anything before I endorse it. I am not in this just for the money. I have a responsibility to my readers.

Just $19.00 per month

May 19, 2025

That is the price to help children at two different hospital groups. Many veterans’ organizations also ask for this amount to help their clients. I will not list these. You might think I am telling you not to support these groups. I am sure many of the ads asking you for these monthly contributions are doing a great deal of good.

The problem is that not all television ads and very few internet requests are investigated by anyone to determine where these funds are going. The amounts are not always under twenty dollars. You are targeted online for organizations like the ones you may currently be supporting.

I want to show you how to confirm that you are helping not-for-profit groups that are good stewards of your money. When I say good stewardship, I mean doing everything to use the money donated effectively for the purpose for which they state they collect money.

Many charities have been investigated over the years and have been found to have outrageous benefits for staff. Some have used funds for types of services that do not match what they advertise.

I remember years ago hearing of a major organization that paid their CEO millions of dollars a year and continued to advertise for volunteers and donors telling the public that they needed money to help others. When this information came out the group lost workers, funding, and respect.

If they had been upfront and honest with those who supported them, they would not have had the problems they did. Other nonprofits were formed around the country to provide the same services they had. Locals believed they could not trust national businesses that were disconnected from them.

Many of these grassroots groups are still thriving. The original company is distrusted by many of us. I am one of many who still remember this and other scandals.

There have also been para-church ministries that were involved in bad publicity of a similar nature. Whenever I see an advertisement for assisting any group of people or other types of good deeds, I am suspicious. Before I send money to anyone, I need to know who they are and where my money is going.

I have recently heard on the news about a person who created a GoFundMe page to collect money for people who had been through a tragedy. They were given a small portion of the money contributed. She is now being forced to pay them the money she wasted.

Once again, I must remind you that I would send no money to anyone I do not know personally. I contribute directly to those who need assistance. I will not allow money to be taken from my debit or credit card for a retailer that has a foundation that does something. If they want to fund a foundation, take the money out of their profits.

Be watching for a column that is related to this. I am entitling it “The Man with the Twisted Lip.” It also deals with how you might want to use your money. The title is based on a Sherlock Holmes story. I hope you will watch out for it.

Welcome home, Carl

May 18, 2025

Some of you would say that you lost another friend. Carl is not lost. He hasn’t been lost since he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior around the time I was born. I know he is in the presence of God which we often refer to as Heaven.

Carl and I had many conversations about Jesus and Heaven over the forty plus years that we have known each other. I met him when I joined Hamlin Memorial Baptist Church. He was our deacon for years.

He recruited me to lead Church Training classes and recommended me for the position when he stepped down. We served on the BTN committee at church for its short-lived tour. The Greene County Baptist Association joined this organization which provided training materials to churches and associations.

He was my mentor in the deacon ministry when I was first ordained. A few years later when he was the chairman of the deacon body, he asked me to be the assistant chairman. This meant I would be the next chairman. Thanks to Carl I got the pleasure of leading the congregation during the retirement of our friend and pastor.

His son Greg worked for my wife before she had our first daughter. Carl and Harriett became surrogate grandparents for our children when we moved into their neighborhood. For almost twenty years we remained neighbors and would visit them while Harriett was homebound.

As our deacon he joined me in the waiting room when Cindy had surgeries. We ministered together with the other deacons and leaders in the church. The stories I remember are too numerous to recount here. I’ll share one that very few know about.

Greg was working in Kansas City when a walkway collapsed at the hotel where he was employed. It was a story that hit our local news. We called Carl and Harriett and asked if they had heard from their son. They had a call from him. He was fine.

While they were dealing with Harriett’s health issues, I was often his sounding board. We did not live far from each other and before Carl had to stay home with her, I saw him at church every week. We had an agreement that nothing we said to each other would ever be repeated.

I used to say that I would see friends in Heaven when I arrived there some day. Today Jesus’ words have led me to believe that we are already there. It is not like we drop into God’s presence when we accept Christ. Being outside of time, He has us with Him even before our death on this planet. I know that sounds strange. Trust Him and you are with those you love who trust Him as well.

On the radio

May 17, 2025

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Mom sang all the time as we were growing up. We never had a piano in our home, because Mom and Dad did not play any musical instruments. They bought me a cheap guitar one year for Christmas and we discussed my taking lessons. That never happened. There just wasn’t enough money in the budget.

My cousin Russ came over with his guitar from time to time and would regale us with tunes like Running Bear. But in his version, Running Bear didn’t love Little White Dove. He ran through the bushes. Russ even brought Jimmie Gately over at least once to play and sing with him. He also brought an album one time by a new comedian, Bob Newhart. The Button-Down Humor of Bob Newhart was the title. We kids were sent to bed early that night.

That was Dad’s instrument of choice, the record player. My talent ran along the same lines as his, but I had to be different from him. I played the radio. Yes, my drug of choice at first was the 9-volt AM model. It was a gift. It went everywhere with me. I did not limit myself to just one flavor on the radio. I was eclectic. KICK was the top 40 station in Springfield, but late at night, I would tune in to WLS from Chicago and other stations from all over the country. KGBX, KWTO, KTTS, and KWFC in Springfield were not enough for me.

Then my brother bought an AM/FM/SW receiver. We listened to broadcasts from all over the world. Springfield even had FM stations, KTTS, KGBX, and KWTO. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? KICK was still the predominant influence in my life. That spawned another childhood desire. To be on the radio as a Disc Jockey or DJ. They were so cool.

Bob Bright woke us every morning with not just music. He also read the news every hour on the hour and added a twenty-second weather report. One morning he was reading the weather, “Thirty percent chance of precipitation throughout the day.” And he went off script to ad-lib. “I just looked out the window here at KICK radio and I want to step out on a limb. I give it a 100% chance of rain.” Out our window, it was storming and dropping the proverbial cats and dogs.

Bob wasn’t the only radio personality in my memory. There was Bill Ring, Bare-foot Bob, Lloyd Evans, and Dan Coulter. I remember Dan because he was on the air on KICK before Bob Bright. He had the privilege of being the overnight guy on the “twenty-four-hour hit after hit after hit” station.

And I knew his brother. We were in school together in junior high and my freshman year of high school. That was about the only fascinating thing about Bruce. He had a brother that everyone listened to. Heads tucked under the covers at two in the morning with the volume so low you had to put your ear to the speaker to hear. That was to keep Mom and Dad from telling you to turn it off and go to sleep.

But then there was Cliff House. He was the husband of the Drama teacher at Hillcrest where we went to high school. Did I mention that his wife was beautiful? How many of your schoolteachers were you in love with? I think Sandy was one of only two in my life.

With all these wonderful DJs of course I wanted to be one myself. Steve Grant also inspired me. And frustrated me. He was a classmate and would join the Speech and Debate team on occasion when Radio Broadcasting was one of the events at a tournament.

There were three of us for these events. Steve, Richard, my debate colleague, and myself. Richard and I never stood a chance. Steve had that voice, even in high school, that made him the perfect announcer. Was it against the rules that he worked at KTXR in the evenings and weekends? I don’t think there were any rules for student broadcasters at that time.

While in college, Bill and I decided to drive to Kansas City to take the test for our radio broadcaster’s license. I only qualified for my third class, restricted license. When I transferred to college in Bolivar, MO, I even applied at their station. I kept it active for about ten years and then let it lapse because no one would hire me.

I did make it on the radio once. I received an award from the Northside Optimists Club and was asked to do an interview on KGBX AM. I don’t remember the interviewer’s name. I think my speech and journalism teachers had the radio on in their rooms that afternoon.

Young Girl

May 15, 2025

Not all classic music is palatable in every aspect of consideration. “Young girl” is one of those. Gary Puckett and the Union Gap was a pop music group in the 1960s and 70s. I enjoy their music. There is a problem with this song, though.

It could sound like a dirty old man who is chasing a young lady. When I was in college I had this problem as well. However, I was only nineteen. She was fifteen. According to Missouri State laws I could be prosecuted for having sex with her until she turned eighteen.

Listen to the lines of the song. He thought she was old enough. I knew that Cindy was not. I did not tell her to hurry home to her mother. I did not need to change my mind. I could not get her out of my mind even if I wanted to. I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to get to know her better. This is the normal course of dating.

Our culture has changed since my days. Young people were taught to wait until they were married to have sex. It is better to concentrate on other things as your relationship grows. My love for this girl was not out of line. My desire to just have sex with her would have been.

When we got married, she was seventeen. Her Mother signed our marriage license. She was still in High School. I was twenty-one and had graduated from college two weeks before. The previous summer I spent ten weeks away in Pennsylvania working as a student pastor for a church through the summer missionary program of the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board.

Upon returning, I decided that we needed to be married as soon as I graduated. I did not know where God would lead me. I did not want to have to leave her behind again. We were already engaged before I had left for the summer. I knew after a few months of dating her that I wanted to spend my life with her. Not just one night.

We planned the wedding for May. I began working at a part-time job. We decided where we would live. We purchased a car of our own. Our families helped with expenses and preparations. We planned for a minister, church, flowers, cake, maid-of-honor, best man, and everything else. We even decided to go to Branson for our two-day honeymoon.

Right after graduation, my part-time job became a full-time position in a management program. Two weeks after the wedding I was told that next Monday I would be in Joplin and would serve as a manager at a new location. I was reminded of why we needed to get married when we did.

This year we will be married for forty-nine years. If anyone said it would not last, I think we have proved them incorrect. All our kids got married while still in college. When I told them they should wait like I did, they reminded me that Cindy finished high school as a married woman. Now you know why I always said they could start dating when they were thirty.

Violence and tragedy

May 13, 2025

Do you really want to know the reason for the violence? As that old movie line goes, “You can’t handle the truth.” I hope that we will try to understand why hatred, violence, and misunderstanding is rampant across our world.

Fifty years ago, I was still a teenager. Springfield was a much calmer community. Murder was almost unheard of here. St. Louis and Kansas City had high crime rates. Nothing like they have today.

Our population has increased by over 65,000 since then. That could be one explanation for the higher number of murders and assaults in Springfield, MO since 1960. What about the rest of the country and the world?

The wars in the middle east, Europe, and other places around the world have varied causes. I am going to boil it into a simple statement that many will disagree with. Wars are caused by people who feel that they have a reason to attack other people groups. My simple idea is that violence increases because we do not care about others.

Doesn’t this work for shootings, car accidents, and acts of aggression of any type? Most of us don’t intentionally hurt those that we care about. When we do not have compassion for someone else, we may harm them through accident or intention. I’ve been at scenes where the person who caused the problem states that they are sorry. Even though their direct actions inflicted pain. Others show no remorse.

A question that seems to be asked again and again is why? Is it because it is to easy to get a weapon? It is easy when weapons are as easy to put your hands on as rocks, scissors, or even your hands.

We need to look closely at what motivates those that attack. They may hate the victims. They may want something that their victims have. Would it be easier to help with the have nots. One case I heard years ago was of a teenager that was murdered for his tennis shoes by another youth that collected shoes and had over a hundred pairs.

After mass shootings there are always those that think we should strengthen gun laws. I believe the gun laws we have should be enforced heavily. If you own legal firearms, lock them away safely. I wrote a story a few years ago where I photographed over a dozen vehicles with unlocked doors that had visible weapons.

Once a person is inside of your home, make it as difficult as possible for them to steal not just weapons, but anything of value. Criminals want stolen items, and, in some states, they have made it extremely difficult to sell stolen items.

I have advocated for years that the news media should withhold the names of all accused of shootings or other violent acts. My belief is that there are times when they want to become famous or even infamous. We can’t remove the means; however, we might be able to remove some of the motivation. It could be worth a shot.

Don’t Ask, don’t tell.

May 11, 2025

This article is not about what you just thought when you read the headline. There is nothing here about homosexuals or the military. If you are truly interested in the phrase “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.” keep reading. This is not just a Springfield problem or a Christian concern. All human beings are guilty of these two errors. Asking someone a question and not really wanting to listen to the answer.

Walk down any street anywhere in the world and stop a stranger and ask the question, “How are you?” In Germany, you can say, “Vie Geht’s?” Every culture and language has one of these overtaxed phrases that are used when you are not the least bit interested but want to appear to be. While the same words can come from the mouth of one who is concerned, often the phrase is only a greeting and does not truly mean that the other person cares.

In churches, supermarkets, Wal-Mart or bars you experience the same concern or lack thereof. Often Christians are as guilty of treating each other and non-Christians with the same nonchalance. Try this the next time you think someone is truly asking about your health, disposition, or financial status, tell them how you really are.

This has been preached from pulpits with ministers telling their congregations they should be more concerned and interested in others because Jesus was. The good results usually end when someone is greeted by the same pastor who preached it and his eyes glaze over and he responds with some cliches like, “I’m sorry. I hope next week is better for you.” and turns away.

“Little Christ” is what Christianity means. Using Him as an example His followers must show the concern that He demonstrated with the Samaritan woman at the well. He went to that well specifically to see her. Then she was perplexed that a Jew would ask her as a Samaritan and a woman for a drink, He explained to her who He was and why He did not act like the Jews that she had seen before. He set a new standard for those who followed Him. Has this been forgotten in the Church?

Remember not to ask a question, if you do not want to take the time to hear the answer. Don’t ask the question, if you are uninterested in the answer. Don’t tell people you care about them and forget to prove it to them. After all, this Springfield is in Missouri and you have to show them.

Walk With a Servant