Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

It’s in the book

October 22, 2024

There was an old radio skit by one of those comedians seldom mentioned anymore. His name is Johhny Standley. His fame came in 1952 with the release of his recording, “It’s in the book.” I remember hearing it on the radio as a child. You know the type of story. Wayne Glenn played it on “The Old Record Collector” on Saturday mornings on KTXR radio in the 80s and 90s.

Andy Griffith became famous when he told us, “What it was was football.” This was in 1953. He followed Johnny Standley’s format as a comedian and told a tale from the viewpoint of a country boy. Standley took the persona of an old-time preacher complete with closing song. Deacon Andy went on to become famous as Andy Taylor and then as Ben Matlock. Last week I saw a new Matlock show. Life is a progression and that is what this column is about.

In the 1950’s almost everyone responded to these epic comedy records because they came from what we knew. It was familiar to us. Today it appears strange. Everyone knows “Little Bo-Peep” and football. Why were these skits popular? They were funny. They were different from what they heard before.

Television was new and this type of humor converted from radio and recordings to TV with little difficulty. When I retired my ministry changed from the workplace to the internet and instead of talking to dozens of people in a day, I now write to a potential audience of thousands. At least a couple of hundred. I hope.

Your life and experience are changing. Can you go with the flow? All you must do is be flexible. Do not get pushed around by the crowd as young Andy did. Be a leader or a follower and do not let others force you into a path you do not want to take.

In 1970, I got my driver’s license. I dropped Mom at home and went to Dog ‘N Suds drive-in to see Frank Costello about a job. He said they had no openings. As I was leaving, he asked why I had come there. My response was that he had employed my brother three years before. When he heard I was Sam’s brother, I filled out an application and started two days later. I was a fry cook. I became the best fry cook I could.

Three years later I became the best screw installer I could be. I worked on final line five at Zenith Radio Corporation in Springfield, Missouri and helped build console televisions. I was in manufacturing. All I did was install five screws and hang a tuner. I hated it. At the end of eighty-nine days, I turned in my resignation and went back to college determined to never work in a factory again.

A year later my dream of becoming a reporter became a desire to become a minister and I transferred to Southwest Baptist College in Bolivar, Missouri from Southwest Missouri State University. My plan had been to go to the University of Missouri School of Journalism in Columbia. That was what I thought I wanted.

God wanted me to spend my next two years learning to study His word and how to lead others to learn what He wanted them to do. Fifty years ago, I began that journey. He opened many opportunities for me. I have served as a student pastor, salesman, purchasing agent, manager, teacher, husband, father, guide, friend, and mentor.

Now I have time to share all my experience with you, dear reader. I hope you realize the potential that God has given to you to be what He wants you to become. The possibilities are endless and yes, the saying is still true. It’s in the book. Join me as we explore it.

Lying in politics

October 18, 2024

You know the old saying, “How can you tell when a politician is lying. His mouth is moving.” Yes, that was a lawyer. I know this is probably a century or more old. Certain people seem predisposed to lying. They do not belong to any one group as we may view them. There are politicians, businesspeople, used car salespeople, and every conceivable profession that will be honest or not.

I can point out a few men and women who are running in the election who have or are openly lying about themselves. We all believe that our opinions about the issues are correct. I will not argue those opinions. I am talking about statements and claims made by these candidates.

One claimed he was not a politician during the first election he ran in. The definition of a politician is one involved in politics. Specifically running for an elected office makes you a politician. He also promised us that he was not and would never be a professional politician. He ran for a second position before his first term was completed. These are two lies.

Check the promises that are being made. Some want you to accept that they will do things that we all want them to. Stating that you want these things accomplished is wonderful. Claiming you can do them the first day you are in the office is a lie. Either they know this is a lie or they are not smart enough to represent us.

Another has been convicted of crimes. This must be part of his strategy to be elected so that he can pardon himself if his appeals fail. Whether or not I think that this candidate is guilty is not the point

I am not telling you their names because the ones I know about are not the only candidates spreading falsehoods. I am sorry if you support these liars. I hope you will look at each candidate you intend to vote for. Remember that the general election is on the fifth of November. Our time is running out to decide how to vote before then.

In Missouri, we will also have many issues on our ballot. My best advice on this is for you to find the bill or amendment as it is written. Do not listen to those who support or oppose any amendment or item. They also seem to not be able to tell the truth. They want you to view their “facts” as true.

I’ll give you a couple of examples. In Missouri where I live, Amendment 3 to our constitution will make all abortions legal. Proponents claim that currently, doctors cannot help women who are having problem pregnancies. Some OBs say this is correct. Others have stated that they continue to care for their patients as they always have. Ladies, ask your doctor what they believe. They are the ones to whom you should listen.

Two other amendments are about gambling. One small city wants its own casino boat, which is legal in this state. They want to change our constitution to allow this. My reading of the original wording of the amendment makes me believe that it will open the door for many more casinos than are currently allowed by our existing statutes. This is Amendment 5 on our ballot.

The other gambling bill is Amendment 2. This will allow sports betting not just at our few casinos, but online. The supporters of this issue claim we will see ten million dollars for our schools in the first five years. The casino owners oppose this and claim our schools will receive nothing. Both gambling proponents are lying. If you want to bet on athletic events or go to a casino, vote for these bills.

Do not believe that our teachers, schools, or students will benefit from taxes on this. Three other times voters have approved gambling that was supposed to benefit not-for-profit organizations or schools and the exorbitant claims were found to be incorrect. I believe those who accept these statements will determine how they were duped within the five years for which the prediction has been made.

Check all the facts. Read the legislation and the claims of the candidates. Those who have been in office should find it easy to verify their claims. The difficult ones are those like our current senior senator who ran for auditor eight years ago on a platform of not being a politician. He failed to complete that term because he won the nomination to oppose a sitting senator who was running for her third term.

Remember that I am a non-partisan voter. I will not vote for a bad candidate when his or her party wants to force me to accept someone who shows themselves to be a liar. I will not accept who you choose. If your party does not nominate a decent candidate, I will find a qualified person elsewhere. This may be the election that more folks who are not Republicrats or Demicans will fill the positions. See you at the polls.

Most hazardous, dangerous, greatest

October 6, 2024

Most of us have heard the clips of the speeches that John Kennedy made where he challenged the US to go to the moon. The emphasis that we hear every few years when we celebrate the Apollo 11 moon landing is a time to replay this sound and video bite. Most of the time we see the address from May 1961 to the Congress.

JFK began the space race with this appeal to our legislators because they would need to provide the funds that were needed. We all know that our country succeeded in this project. We continued to work with others to establish the International Space Station which still orbits our planet.

What we have not heard is the way he ended this talk at least on one occasion. In 1962 President Kennedy spoke at Rice University, Houston, Texas. When he concluded that speech, it was by saying, “As we set sail, we ask God’s blessing on the most hazardous, dangerous, and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked. Thank you.”

I believe we need to look at this and other speeches by our presidents over the decades to see how they used to encourage us and our ancestors. Kennedy was a great communicator. History has proven that. I was a child and still remember hearing his voice on television. What you hear today we got live on the tube.

I would be amiss if I did not share another Kennedy quote from his inaugural address in 1961. “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” I am attaching a video of that speech. If you have never heard it, please listen to it.

There is no other Presidential speech that is more well known than Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Both the introduction “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation” and the ending “that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth” give me chills when I think of them.

I was not around when Abe delivered those words. I also did not have to live through either the war between the States or World War II. I have heard President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s words on December 8, 1941. It went out around the country on the radio, “December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy.” He continued speaking to Congress and all Americans when we declared war on Japan for the attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Hawaii was not a state at that time. It was a location for a naval and air base to defend our friends in the Pacific Ocean.

Ronald Reagan was also a well-respected orator. His address in Berlin in 1987 contained the words, “General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace. If you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”

If you did not study it in school, he spoke of what is known as the Berlin Wall. It separated democratic West Germany from USSR-dominated Eastern Germany. They were separated after the Second World War. We came from the West and Russia from the East to defeat Hitler. The two Germanies I knew as a kid are now one.

One last quote from the man who was President when I was born. Dwight Eisenhower said, “Pessimism never won any battle.” Remember this is one of the many famous sayings attributed to the 34^th President. In this election year, we need to remember these sayings as we listen to what the current candidates say.

Are you more important than anyone else?

October 3, 2024

Driving through Springfield streets it can often be noticed that certain people do not obey traffic laws, signs, and stop lights. As a Christian you may wonder who these people are or, hopefully not, you may find yourself participating in these unlawful and unsafe practices. The only explanation for this is that those who ignore common sense or instruction and posted ordinances think they are better than everyone else and laws do not apply to them.

Some examples of this observed behavior are those who do not attempt to stop when the traffic light turns yellow. When the Springfield Police cars and Greene County Sheriff cruisers do this, it is common knowledge that they do not have to obey the laws they are paid to enforce. Why should they set the example by stopping just because the light has turned yellow? Those who drive through red lights must just be off-duty officers who know they won’t get any tickets. How many people are killed in accidents when the instruction of a light is ignored? No more than two hundred or so each year. Who cares about that small a number?

Bicyclists can go anywhere they want to because they are cutting down on pollution by riding. Sidewalks are alright and just because there is a marked lane showing the cyclists to follow the flow of other vehicles doesn’t mean you can’t travel on the wrong side of the road and cuss the drivers that aren’t paying attention to you being where you aren’t supposed to be. If you are hit and killed by a motorist, they will be blamed and must live with it, not you.

Do you like roundabouts? Is that why you do not yield to traffic that is going around the circle? Some of you drive your trucks over the center destroying the expensive landscaping that we all had to pay for. What is even better is the medians that are placed between the lanes on small two-lane roads for no good reason other than for idiots to drive in the wrong lanes.

I won’t even talk about the motorcyclists that we are all reminded to keep safe by watching for them as they speed between lanes of traffic to get in front of cars. It is especially enjoyable to watch them pop their wheelies as they race down the road. The last thing I want is to drive over them when they wipe out on a grease spot.

The two biggest problems are inattentiveness and impairment. Missouri finally has decided to make texting and the use of handheld phones while driving illegal. Road rage is rampant. Someone shot at a car recently. Hopefully, that person will be caught. The prosecutor and judges will slap their hands and put them back out.

I had to deal with drivers for one company where I was the office manager. My boss did not want to deal with it. I was the one that the company delivery truck was issued to by the leasing company. When the driver violated the law and a call was made, it was to me. I also got to send young men home when they came to work drunk.

I’m glad to be off the roads most of the time now. I also am glad I am retired, and it is someone else’s problem to deal with employees who believe lying to their bosses is a good idea. I know that generations younger than I are not any worse than we boomers. It is a fact they are no smarter.

Are you the reason people deal with your company?

September 29, 2024

That is an excellent question, isn’t it? Another difficult question is, “Do you cause people to stay or leave?” I have worked with both types of managers and fellow employees. In over forty years in business, I have seen managers chase away employees and customers.

One manager asked why I spent over thirty minutes dealing with one man that she referred to as “some farmer”. When I informed her that he was the maintenance foreman at one of our best customers she turned around and walked away. I saw another man throw a tray of food across the kitchen at a fast-food restaurant where I worked. He was the top manager at the company.

Salesmen that I know often tell their customers to ask for certain inside people that they know will give the customer the best service. Most people will wait for associates that take care of them. Time and again I see employees treat those who pay their salaries with disdain and rudeness.

The adage that “the customer is always right” has been changed to “Who do they think they are?” If you have experienced any of these individuals, I hope that you contact management to make sure that they know what is happening in their businesses.

Sometimes management is a problem. Those in charge of a certain location may not correct employees because they do not care how they treat others. There are times when the best employees at a company leave these poorly managed organizations to join a manager that they have worked with before.

“The Peter Principle” by Laurence J. Peter and Raymund Hull was published in 1969 and made many of us aware of what companies often do. They promote good employees into supervisory or management positions where they eventually will fail. Not everyone who receives a new job at their current company is ineffective. Just a few.

I know employees who were truck drivers or warehousemen and became managers, salesmen, and executives who retired with coworkers praising them. I have also watched as these men and women were terminated because they could not accomplish their new tasks.

I have quit some jobs because of the managers I worked for. I have stayed at companies despite how the bosses treated me. I spent twenty years with a manager who chased off more good employees than I could count. I was the second in command. On several occasions, I was the one who made the decision that someone needed to be fired and was told that I would get to deliver the bad news.

I spent six years as an operations manager. With this company, an operations manager was normally a branch manager who was waiting to be transferred to another position or branch. In my case, they needed someone to run the branch while they dragged their feet and passed me over for the job.

When they gave the position to someone else, I found another job and moved back into purchasing where I was when I joined that company. I retired fifteen years later as a purchasing manager after working my way through three manufacturers that had all been customers for the previous twenty-five years.

Where is your career taking you? Do you enjoy what you do? Do not rule out moving to a new company or a new career. My experience in sales and management made me more effective in purchasing. You may want to change the sides of the desk like I did. Be willing to be flexible. Don’t forget to do something that you enjoy.

Homage to Catalonia

September 26, 2024

If you recognize this title, you are a literature professor or like myself, an avid reader with time to explore everything your favorite authors have written. If you have read anything this author wrote it is “1984” or “Animal Farm”. These may have been required for a class in high school or college.

I had read both years ago for entertainment. They are considered classics. “Animal Farm” was published before “1984”. If you read dystopian or science fiction literature, you know this one. Those who read political commentary or satire know both. If you are a history buff, you may have encountered “Homage to Catalonia” in regard to the Spanish Revolution of the 1930s.

The genre this fits in is Memoirs. Orwell was in his thirties, married, and went to Spain to fight against fascism. This is the political concept that brought us World War II. I will let you do your own research on that. I don’t understand all this political discourse and would rather discuss what George learned from being involved in a war.

I might have been able to go to Vietnam and take part in that conflict in the early 1970s. I was not drafted. I did not volunteer. I have no personal one-on-one experience with any war or conflict. I once thought I might like to report on these battles. I decided that I would rather answer a different call. You can read about that in other columns.

I have just finished reading Orwell’s memoir and would like to share what he learned from his life in this skirmish. The working class was rebelling against the rich and Spain was in turmoil. Franco was pushing fascism. Communists were pushing their form of socialism. Almost all of the working class wanted something other than capitalism. I understand rebelling against capitalism.

Free trade is not all it was cracked up to be in ECON 101. I did not understand much of that material as a college freshman. I do agree that we should work for what we want. My parents taught me that early on. I do not believe that I should pay you three or more times what something costs you. I shop for sales. I buy used. I’ve learned to wait for something until I can afford it or do without it.

Socialism was an idea that George Orwell was familiar with. He thought the people of Spain deserved this kind of society. They seemed to want it. Even many of the wealthier Spaniards accepted this concept. That was what he thought when he went to fight for them. After months on the front lines, he was not convinced of this.

After a year of fighting in Catalonia, he left to meet his wife for leave. What he saw in larger cities caused him to believe that many had forgotten there was a war. He saw what socialism was. A plot by the wealthy to keep the lower classes subject to them. Those of the lower classes who embraced socialism or communism used it to increase their own wealth and stature. Once a worker attained superiority, he was content and no longer saw a need to elevate the masses.

Few people wanted to help others. They wanted what they could get for themselves. I’ve learned this over my lifetime. We are approaching an important election. The general election is in November.

In 2016, we are learning what Orwell learned in Spain. The political parties are out for what they can get. They lie, cheat, and steal to get you to vote for their people. We, as voters, must sort out this deceit to find those who want to serve us as our representatives in government.

I’ve found one person I can support for governor. His party did not nominate him. I will write his name in on my ballot in November. I cannot vote for any Republican who supports a convicted criminal. He is only leading his party through terrorism and name-calling. I will not endorse that.

I hope you refuse to vote for liars, thieves, and insurrectionists as well. What they say must be tempered with what they do, and that is not easy to discover. We all need to listen to what real people who have had business and social contacts with the candidates say about how they feel about them. Please take the time to look for the truth. Do not just listen to political commercials, even if they are called news.

What do you do?

September 22, 2024

We keep hearing about deadly shootings in the Springfield, Missouri area where we live. The news reports currently being released say that one man is dead and another man is in custody. This was in a residential area and the police say that they knew each other.

Another report talked about the increase in traffic fatalities nationwide. They mentioned a few of the tragic collisions that made the national news last year. Is there any way to avoid these situations?

I don’t have to give those who have read my memoir “Doulos” the story that explains my concern for accidental shootings. I have not shared another story about a shooting that my wife and I were witnesses to. A few months ago, we were grocery shopping. We left our car parked in a handicapped space close to the doors.

As we pulled into the row of cars, I noticed a young lady standing near a car across from us. We were in the market for at least a half hour. When we returned to our vehicle, she was still there. As we prepared to pull out this conversation escalated.

We did not understand most of what she said. None of the other person’s words could be heard by us. She was backing away from the car with the driver’s door open. The man bolted towards her. My wife immediately called 911 on her phone.

Before she could complete the call, the woman pulled a small gun from her purse and fired one shot into her attacker’s chest. He fell to the ground. She began screaming that she had shot him. A nurse that had been behind her when she fired, bent down to check on the injured man while she ran and laid the gun on the hood of the car, opened a back door, and removed a baby.

This all happened in a minute or two. What should we have done? We both considered leaving the scene. We did not need to because she was more concerned with her child than she was with bystanders. Let’s discuss what to do if you are present when shots are fired.

In our situation, had she waved the gun around as other supposed witnesses reported, we would have vacated the area immediately. We had no need to do that because she put the weapon down and we were not in danger. In the case of another shooting, a witness heard five shots while she was in bed. We were not told what she did. What should you do?

Take cover. Do not look outside. You may become a target. Stray shots may enter your home. Put as much distance between you and the exterior as you can. Walls, furniture, and space are some of the things to separate you from danger. If the shots sound like they are inside, hide and be quiet or leave the house. Vacating should not be done until you determine you can do that safely. Each situation is different.

Let’s discuss a situation like the tragedy in Kansas City after the Super Bowl. If you are outside and hear shots, you probably want to hide and wait to run until you are aware of where the shooter or shooters are. Getting down might be safer unless you can see where the shots are coming from. I won’t tell you to remain calm. You already know whether you can do that.

Now about those traffic accidents. Do not allow yourself to become angry. Road rage will escalate the situation. You know how to stay calm. Stay observant while you are driving. If you aren’t driving, be observant. Do not yell at the driver if you think you see something that could possibly be dangerous, use as quiet a voice as you can and be specific about what you see.

Do not scream “Look Out.” “Do you see that kid running this way?” would be a better way to handle it. I once saw deer running toward the highway I was driving on. I had a matter of seconds to decide what to do. I put the pedal to the metal. One of the animals jumped over the trunk of my car. And the others crossed safely.

I have always driven defensively. My dad was a trucker and he taught us by driving safely as we were traveling. Mom did the same. The best way is to be shown proper conduct. Do not get in a vehicle with an unsafe driver. Our daughters had friends they wanted to go with and we questioned their skills. Our answers were no to those requests.

Do you stop and let other traffic from side streets go when it is rush hour? I was in an accident when someone did that. I was in the inside lane where traffic was still moving. I was hit by a driver who could not see me coming. He did not approach my lane with caution. I tried to avoid him but was not successful. Fortunately, no one was injured.

Stop and think about where you are and what you are doing whether you are driving, walking, or sitting quietly at home. Accidents happen regardless of how careful we are. Others can create dangerous situations that we may be able to avoid. I no longer like to be in crowds. I’m not afraid of being shot. I’m tired of rude people. Try not to be rude. I’ll do the same.

What is in a name?

September 19, 2024

William Shakespeare wrote in “Romeo and Juliet”, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” We do not know where the name Rose came from. I do know where my mother took the name Charles for me. It came from a character in the soap opera “As The World Turns.”

That is what she told me all my life. While researching this column I discovered that this TV show appeared after I was born. Another myth is busted. Now I am wondering where my name came from. An old boyfriend? Charlie Tuna? 1961 was his debut. Charles De Gaulle? I hope not. One of his middle names is Marie. Prince Charles? That would be cool since he is now Charles III king of Great Britain. He was just a kid when I was born.

Names are very important. Mom called where I worked and asked for Charles. She was told that no one by that name worked there. The guy who said that was a new hire and did not know that Chuck is a nickname for Charles. She read him the riot act. She once told our pastor that my name was not Chuck. She had given me the name Charles.

I adopted the name Chuck in college. I thought Chuck Kensinger reporting from London would sound better. I use Chuck for all my friends and for my fiction. All my non-fiction is under my given name. When we meet, call me Chuck.

God had a problem with Moses when he first called him to lead the Israelites from Egypt. He asked who he should say sent him. Jehovah or Yahweh is translated as “I am that I am.” In Hebrew, it literally means “I am, I was, and I will always be.” Pretty specific, right.

He has other names given in the Bible as well. Jehovah Jirah, El Shaddai, Jesus Christ, and many others. Don’t worry, He will answer no matter what you call Him because He knows when you are talking to Him. I start my prayers with precious Jesus. It works for me.

The important thing is to talk to Him whenever you want to. I think He listens to everyone. That’s kind of His thing. Give Him a call. Don’t forget to listen with your spirit. That is how He communicates with us. If you’ve accepted His son Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you will have a better connection. Try Him, you’ll like Him.

Springfield Style Cashew Kitty

September 17, 2024

Donald Trump had the right idea during the presidential debate. He just got the wrong state; his joke was about forty years late. Thirty-four of our states have cities or townships named Springfield. Some of the most well-known are the capital of Illinois, Massachusetts, Ohio, and my beloved hometown, Springfield, MO.

For you Yankees, MO is the abbreviation for Missouri. We are the third largest city in our state and the home to the Springfield Cardinals, Bass Pro Shops, The General Council of the Assemblies of God, Brad Pitt, and Springfield-style cashew chicken. We also hold the distinction of being the largest Springfield according to the 2020 U. S. Census. Yes, it’s larger than yours.

Springfield-style cashew chicken was developed at Leong’s Chinese Restaurant in the 1960’s. I first tasted this delicacy around 1970 when I obtained my driver’s license and first job. The second source for our hometown favorite was another oriental restaurant named Gee’s Eastwind formerly located on East Sunshine Street.

This is significant because Leong’s was on West Sunshine and Gee was a brother to the creator of this special dish. You say, “What is so special about your cashew chicken?” Your local Chinese restaurant has cashew chicken on the menu as well. Leong catered to our southern heritage here in southwest Missouri. He breaded and deep-fried the chicken chunks.

We have hundreds of cashew chicken places in the Ozarks. In the 70’s our What-A-Burger stands sold out to the Cheong family and became Cheong’s What-A-Burger. What kept them going was not their hamburgers. It was deep-fried chicken chunks, served on rice, smothered in sauce, cashews, and green onions. You could have that with an egg roll, wonton, or French fries.

Like Baptist churches, we had a cashew chicken stand on more streets than McDonalds. They did not all serve Chinese food or hamburgers. They were Cantonese, Mongolian, Korean, Vietnamese, or even Swedish. I’ll publish my cashew chicken recipe and other stories in future columns.

Leong wanted to entice Ozarkians into his place until he adulterated the traditional mostly healthy cashew chicken into something more popular in southwest Missouri. The chicken is cut into chunks, breaded, deep-fried, and served with fried rice. Some joints will give you plain white rice or noodles if you like that better. The sauce is like oyster sauce and the chicken is covered with it and topped with cashews and chopped green onions.

St. Louis has at least one restaurant I know of that serves our cashew chicken as well as the traditional. In the 80’s and 90’s when I traveled southern Missouri and northwest Arkansas as a sales service specialist, I knew which café’s had Springfield Style Cashew Chicken. Some of them were oriental. Others were not. Grocery store deli departments here serve it in their lunch counters.

Now that you know what Springfield Style Cashew Chicken is, let’s talk about Cashew Kitty. In the 1980’s a joke began circulating in Springfield that everywhere a cashew chicken place opened the number of stray cats disappeared. Other cultures, like Melmaceans, eat cats. They are definitely Alfs (Alien Life Forms). The story took on a life of its own when they associated it with immigrants who also ate dogs.

Our former president must be a friend of the founder of Bass Pro Shops and like George W. Bush before him has come to our fair city and heard the tales that we hillbillies like to entertain with. He just used a non-Republican State to prevent hard feelings with his adopted party.

And he can’t tell a joke. Some of us here still remember when he was a Democrat. Missouri’s seventh Congressional District is so GOP, they wrote Richard Nixon in during the 1976 election. By the way, did you know we Missourians once elected a dead man for US Senator? For those of you who don’t know, I’m from Missouri and you have to show me.

Off to see the wizard

September 15, 2024

I visit four doctors at least once a year: my general practitioner, endocrinologist, cardiologist, and dentist. I also see others when needed. I was thinking about “The Wizard of Oz” and how that movie can give me some insight into why these visits are or are not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

When Dorothy lands in Oz and wants to return home, she is given the ruby slippers from the feet of the deceased wicked witch of the East. Glenda the good witch magically transfers them to her feet. She can’t return them to the dead witch’s family, sending her on a journey to Oz to find the Wizard.

If you have not seen this film in a while, I urge you to watch it again, or even for the first time. It may be old. It is still a classic. You may be wondering how Dorothy’s trip to the Emerald City is like our visits to our physicians. No, you do not have to take three friends with you. Some of us may need another to interpret what they say or to aid in our remembering what we need to talk to them about.

The main similarity is in the interaction between the two parties. The Wizard instructs Dorothy to complete a task when she sees him for the first time. This encounter is frightening for her and her friends. The problem is with bringing back the broomstick of the Wicked Witch.

When our doctors tell us to revise our eating habits, take prescribed medicines, or follow an exercise or therapy plan, it may be as hard as getting that broom. Keep in mind that if you don’t follow the doctor’s orders, you will not have a good time at the next meeting.

Dorothy brought the broom and still had trouble. The problem was that her Wizard was a humbug. Her words. He did not have the abilities and training needed to get her home. They finally found a solution. It was ruby slippers. That is a modern-day fairy tale.

For most of us, there is not a simple trick to correcting our health. It may be more than an hour’s trek through a scary wood. We may spend months or years seeing the same or different doctor many times. My heart condition must be monitored at least once a year. My diabetes requires more frequent checkups. Now I must have an annual examination to satisfy the Medicare folks.

What about the humbugs or quacks that we may encounter. Before you make an appointment, answer the questions that the scheduler asks. Be as specific as you can. Do not go to an ophthalmologist if your toe is hurting.

Have you heard about the man who had gone to five different doctors and decided to try one more? The physician asked, “What is the problem?” He explained, “When I touch my nose it hurts. It hurts when I touch my ear, and when I touch my foot it hurts.” The doctor’s reply was “That’s an easy one.” The astounded patient responds, “Easy, five other doctors said I was a hypochondriac.” His new doctor simply tells him, “Your finger is broken.”

Walk With a Servant