Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Good Friday?

April 8, 2023

We are celebrating the day that Jesus who is the Messiah of the Jews died over two thousand years ago. The question is why is it considered a good day? Three men were executed by the most gruesome method known to modern man. This is a day that should be considered evil.

Thursday night ended with a moving Passover meal for Christ and his twelve closest followers. Their mentor showed them how to be servants to each other. All the current traditions were observed. The wine was shared as was the bread. Prayers were given. Music was shared. It was both fellowship and worship.

Friday morning begins with a series of trials. The Sanhedrin retried our Lord until He made a statement that is considered blasphemy and the court determines that His sentence should be death by crucifixion. These educated lawmen do not realize that they have sentenced Jesus to a death that matches what the prophets recorded hundreds of years ago.

The trials continue before Pilot and Herod. The sentence is ordered to be carried out. Pilot washes his hands. Three men march out to be hung on crosses until they are dead. It will be a slow terrible death. They will tire from the efforts to pull themselves up to breathe until they suffocate.

Over the next several hours’ Christ’s companions argue with each other to decide why they will die with a man they never knew until this day. The man they called Bar Abbas has been released. The Son of the Father will live to fight another day. They will not.

One accepts the offer of the savior. The other does not. They both die agonizing deaths. They are preceded in death by my Lord and Savior. He spoke little during the trials and the crucifixion. His last words were, “It is finished.”

It is the plan of the Father to save humanity from its own sinfulness. It started with Adam and ended with Jesus. Paul calls him the second Adam.

We refer to the Friday before Resurrection Sunday as Good Friday because of the result of the weekend. The tragic incidents of passion week were worth the lamb that was slain for the sin of the world. His life for those of an entire race of people. Science Fiction is not the only book where the Earth is saved. Happy Resurrection Sunday.

A day of death and destruction

March 24, 2023

Today is March 24^th, 2023. On this day in history many tragedies took place. More than on any other day? Probably not. I have been reminded of some events that took place in previous years.

In Jonesboro Arkansas on this date in 1984, four students and a teacher were shot to death by two students at West Side Middle school. These boys also shot eleven other students. Why? They were bullies. They were not close friends until they began their plans to kill as many as they could from their school.

One boy had been dumped by his girlfriend a few days before. They had nine weapons and over 2,000 rounds of ammunition. As in other school attacks, the plan included setting up in the woods outside the building and pulling a fire alarm. Then they waited until the doors opened and their victims walked out and were ambushed.

We ask ourselves what could have been done to prevent deaths after every attack of this kind. If we take every gun away from everyone we can, others will steal weapons as these boys did and stage similar ambushes.

What happened after these deaths? The boys were taken into custody. They were tried for murder and kept in juvenile detention until they reached their state’s majority age. They were released and returned to society. Their records were sealed, and they lived under assumed names.

One was jailed and spent time in prison for robbery. He was again released and was killed a few years later in an accident that was not his fault. The other shooter is assumed to be alive and has not been identified for his earlier crimes. He may be your neighbor or even mine.

My question is, should what we do as children or teenagers be used against us as we age? We all make mistakes. I never did anything to get me arrested. While I might have been angry with others and thought about hurting them, I never have. We need to decide as a state and nation how to deal with young people who have problems with the way they react to others. Should murders be accepted from any age?

Is lax punishment for juveniles one of the causes of younger violent offenders? We must look at all sides of these offenses. I mentioned this was a day of death and destruction. This event in 1984 was not the only one for this calendar date.

The Exxon Valdez went aground in 1989 and spilled millions of gallons of crude oil on the Alaskan coast. It was the worst spill at that time. In 1999 thirty-nine died in a tunnel between France and Italy. The fire in the Mont Blonk Tunnel took two days to extinguish.

Harry Houdini was born in 1874. I add this fact to stop anyone from saying that this column is only about tragedies. Every day on the calendar has good times to remember and tragedies. Take each day as the Lord gives it to you and live it as He wants.

Sunday night

February 12, 2023

My wife and I are planning to have a nice evening at home tonight. We will prepare cashew chicken, watch television, not football, and not watch a half-time show. As far as I am concerned, there is no football game being aired.

I am not a football fan, as you can tell. Actually, I do not like any sports. I have two older brothers that watched baseball and thought talking about sports was a manly thing to do. I never cared about that, and I dislike all the babble about the stupid bowl that has been going on for two weeks.

They were forced to take me along with them when they went out to play. I was always picked last for any team. That was never an enjoyable time.

My brothers were Cardinal fans. In 1969 I predicted that the New York Mets would win the world series. They told me that I was crazy. I was right. I must admit that I had made that prediction for several years because the Mets were in the basement. I did it just to make them angry.

If you are a football or sports fan, that is all right for you. Don’t expect me to get all warm and fuzzy about grown men playing games and making money doing it. Let’s find common ground between us.

If I had to choose a team to win THE BIG GAME, it would be the Eagles. It is not that I like that team better than the other one. I like eagles. I like all kinds of eagles. I collect them. I have photographs, stuffed toys, figurines, and even paintings of eagles. I just like eagles. Not the Philadelphia Eagles.

What do I do for fun? I am doing it now. I enjoy writing and expressing my creativity in this manner. You may find that to be strange. I am fine with that. Do what you want to do and let me do the same and we will get along fine.

Enjoy the game and the commercials tonight. I hope the team that you support wins even if it is the Chiefs. Don’t forget to enjoy the game day snacks. That is something where my wife and I will join you.

I know I need to be in love

February 10, 2023

I was supposed to be a girl. I had two older brothers. My dad wanted a girl. He wanted both of my brothers to be girls. I wore girls’ baby dresses for the first six months of my life. Mom had all these clothes that she never put on my brothers. It was my responsibility to use them.

She taught me to sew, crochet, and cook. This is the reason I have been an advocate of women’s rights and breaking gender barriers. Our daughters had toy cars. They played with boys’ toys. We gave our oldest astronaut Barbie. I taught her to love science and space and built a spaceship for her doll.

Our youngest daughter worked with me in my shop. She liked the drill press and the saw. She is a handywoman today. Our middle daughter will try anything you tell her that she can’t do. Isn’t this usually a male response?

My first girlfriend was when I was in second grade. I do not remember her name. I dated only one girl through high school. During my sophomore year in college, she announced to me that she did not think we should see each other anymore. I was all right with that. From that point, I dated a few ladies.

I wanted to find someone to love. I just needed to pick the correct one. I accepted a call to the full-time gospel ministry, changed colleges, and met my future wife the following year.

At that time, I did not know as much about love as I do today. I know that love is a verb. It is not an emotion. It is a choice. You decide who you will love and if that love will last. We do not fall in love or out of it. We stop caring about those we once cherished because of several factors. One of these is that we all change.

In marriage, we should be changing together. Growing apart needs to be recognized and avoided. We need to learn to communicate our needs, wants, and love better. The books “Five Love Languages” and “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” are two volumes that discuss the differences in the way we communicate.

Gary Chapman identifies five separate ways of speaking. Not all of these are verbal. Men and women can share these. Some couples accidentally know what the other means because they speak the same dialect.

John Gray separates the miscommunication between men and women into differences in culture. He also believes that once we learn this, we can have meaningful dialogue. Both men are correct as are hundreds of others that have written books or taught marriage seminars.

I knew I needed to be in love. The Carpenters song adds that believing there is someone for me was hard. One of the steps I learned from Karen was that it wasn’t simple and that freedom made it more difficult. I am not perfect, and neither is Cindy.

We married because we wanted to work at loving each other. We still understand that it is for life. That life is not easy. We work at it every day. She has changed. I am not the same man she loved at first. Good intentions were a foundation. That was not where we placed our faith.

I believe that she loves me. I know her love language. I know that as a woman she cannot always understand what I try to say. I say I want to be with her. I prove it by being with her. When I put business ahead of us, she told me about it. She had the patience to let me learn the lessons at my own pace. Sometimes I can be a slow learner.

Our love has grown. It is not what it was forty-seven years ago. We are still together and love each other. Do not stop growing in your relationships. Have the courage to work hard on it. Do not miss the opportunity to say I love you. And use all five languages when you need to. Happy Valentine’s Day.

One Dollar a Joke

February 4, 2023

Before I became rich and famous, I noticed that people were paying to see comedians and that I was giving my funny comments and stories away for free. I decided to experiment with making a little extra spending money by charging people when they laughed at something I had said. Upon completing an anecdote and hearing the listeners’ pleasure in their laughter, I simply stated, “That will be a dollar, please.” I have yet to make any money that way.

Some would laugh even harder at this “joke” which was not intended to even be funny. Humor is created by blending the obvious and the absurd. That must be what I did, accidentally. Some of what I believe to be my most hilarious witticisms did not elicit the cackles this faux pas received.

My youngest daughter has always joked about my stories being old and lame. A few years ago, her mother and I were moving her from one location to another while she was a university student. Several of her friends were also helping. I noticed that many of my stories were being shared with her friends, who laughed at them all.

Later I mentioned this to her and was told that I did not know how to tell a joke. They enjoyed the humor because it was the first time, they had heard my original material. I try to use that fresh comedic wit in my writing.

The problem with sharing my funny stuff with you is that I am not making any money from you either. My dollar per joke still seems reasonable. Save up my money until it adds up to a hundred dollars or more. Contact me and I will give you my address and you can send me a check. I need to include more humor so that I won’t die before I’ve racked up the hundred.

Did you expect the end of that one? Did you laugh or at least smile a little? Now you know why the first thing a comedian does is hire writers to create the material they use. I hope you found this entertaining. If so, send your dollar. Thank you for your support.

It’s not a Groundhog Day

February 1, 2023

Remember the movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray? His day just repeats and repeats. In the book, there are many more days in the cycle than we see in the film. He has enough time to learn to play the piano, create ice sculptures, study French, and conquer the Heimlich maneuver.

What would you do if you had unlimited days and knew what would take place every twenty-four hours? I think I would do like Phil does and go insane at first. Once I determined that nothing would change, I would concentrate on one thing at a time. The last scene shows how he has changed during the years he has been stuck.

We all have things that we can improve on. I may not be as self-centered as Phil Connors. I could work on my interpersonal skills. I could learn to play the piano better. I have never carved an ice sculpture or performed the Heimlich Maneuver. I would like to give them a try.

What personal changes do you need to make? Are you a jerk? Are you prideful? Do you hit on women, or men, incessantly? Is your life full of sarcasm and nastiness? Do you need a change?

Let’s look at what we can learn from this spiritual video. Life can be full of the same old stuff, or we can work to change things for the better. It is our turn to be the one that hates everything and everybody, we can run from them, or we can do as our lead character does and begin serving others.

Set a goal. Remember my column from the first of January? Don’t worry if the resolution you made for this year has already fallen by the wayside. Pick it up again and be ready to continue as often as you must.

Life is not the same all the time. Look for ways to help others. Make this a great winter no matter how long it may last.

I do not like snakes

February 1, 2023

One of my favorite songs by Jim Stafford is “I don’t like Spiders and Snakes.” I know, it is another old song. Today is National Serpent Day. I don’t like snakes as pets. They are fine outside in our yard. I thought I might share some snake stories with you.

We had a part beagle dog that was very unusual. She was an outdoor dog, and her name was Trixey. As I said, she was part beagle. We did not train her as a hunting dog. One day, Cindy, my wife asked me to come and look out into the yard. Our dog was standing, looking at the yard next door. Her gaze was focused on a brush pile.

My wife asked what she was doing. My response was that she was set to point. Those who have seen hunting dogs being put through their paces, know this stance. When a hound senses their prey, they stop, the nose goes out, they raise one front paw, and their tail stiffens to make them an arrow pointing the hunter to where the game is.

This is what Trixey did. After the first time we saw it, we often saw her set to point always at the same neighbor’s yard. Later we saw foxes and other animals over there. She knew what she was doing.

Another interesting habit she had was playing with snakes. She would find them sunning themselves in the yard and pick them up. When a dog picks something up, they use their mouth. This beagle would grab them midsection and shake her head violently. Then she would drop them.

This game continued if the snake started to move after it was dropped. They tried to wait her out. That did not happen. She was into the game. Trixey could lay on the ground and quietly outwait them. She was good. The play ended when the snake did not ever move again.

That was where she left her playmate. My wife was afraid she would be bitten. If that ever happened, we never saw or heard it. One day Cindy was the one we heard. She was carrying the laundry basket and she saw a snake. I gave it a kick and it did not move. That ended the fun for Cindy.

Snakes are important in our world. They have their place. They eat bugs and small animals. This is a good thing when they live in your yard or garden. I was the assistant livestock manager for a pet wholesaler. We supplied pet stores with products. Two big sellers were white mice and baby rats.

We bred these and it was my job to go in and feed everything on the weekends. We called these feeder stock because they were used to feed snakes and other reptiles. It’s the cycle of life. I have also worked with some snakes in my career. Those are different kinds of snakes, and those stories are for another day.

Prejudice

February 1, 2023

It is easy to define prejudice. Break it apart. Pre means before. Judice is a form of judging. If you judge people before you know them personally, you are prejudiced. We often confuse this with bigotry. Bigotry is like racism where prejudice is due to an easily identified reason.

Prejudice does not have to be related to race or nationality. I have no problems with you if you are of a different color, race, or culture. However, for those of you who do stupid things, I immediately put you in the stupid or dummy category.

The stupid things that I am referring to are the way you drive, the way you treat others, decisions that you make which hurt others, and similar actions that violate my personal ethics. Yes, this is harsh. I admit it. I base whether I trust you on how you think of others.

I am also prejudiced against those who prejudge people but believe that their biases are justified or nonexistent. I have been watching this take place for many years. Those who are bigoted against white Anglo-Saxons accuse every one of them of being racist. An example of this is the statement that African Americans are racial, not racist.

Those who condemn all law enforcement personnel because of those that hurt others without justification are also prejudiced. When you lump all Republicans into one group like Donald Trump you are prejudiced. The same thing is to believe that all Democrats are like the ones that you disagree with like Nancy Pelosi.

Let’s look at what our prejudices are. Any group that you do not trust, or do not like is the one that you are discriminating against. Be man or woman enough to admit that you are not perfect. We must admit that we are like everyone else. We make good and bad choices.

I am not perfect and guess what, you are not either. If you have been accused of being prejudiced, look at the circumstances. Some of the stupid people I have problems with may be affiliated with a minority. Others could interpret their appearance as the reason for my prejudice. Either way, I should get over my prejudice.

I’m working on that. Join me in trying to be a better person. Avoid making hasty decisions about what you think of everyone until you can make an informed decision about who they are. Let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt. peel off the hide and we are alike.

CHOCOLATE

January 27, 2023

As the Sunday School teacher for 7^th and 8th-grade boys, what they wanted to talk about on any given Sunday and what was in the curriculum supplied by the church was not the same thing. Do you discuss the topics of concern to these young men or follow a schedule set out by middle-aged men and women six to twelve months ago? That was always easy for me.

Often the topic of S-E-X would come up. They were curious. These were church boys. Their parents seldom talked to them about the subject unless they were forced to and then they got over it quickly. As a married father of first one, then two, and finally three children, in their eyes, I was an expert.

Let me pause here and explain what an expert is. My high school word study teacher was explaining to us students how to determine the meaning of an unfamiliar word. You break it into smaller portions and determine the meaning of it by combining the meaning of the parts. He said that ex means has been and that a spurt is a big drip under pressure. Therefore, an expert is a big drip under pressure.

I do not claim to be an expert on anything. I would listen to these young men and discuss what was of interest to them. When S.E.X. came up, I would tell them a story about when I was in junior high school and I stole a candy bar. The following day, I returned to the store and bought another snickers. When I gave the clerk enough to pay for two, she told me I gave her too much. That was when I informed her that I had taken one the day before and did not pay for it. She thanked me for correcting my mistake.

What does candy have to do with S.E.X.? I explained that there are correct and incorrect ways to do the same thing. It is not wrong to desire something like chocolate or sex. There is an appropriate method to go about each.

My stealing the candy was wrong. There is no excuse for what I did. God has commanded us to restrict sexual intercourse to one person to whom we are to be married. We may want to bypass that process. We need to accept that Jesus does not approve of this action. Our culture has changed during my lifetime. As a kid, TV shows never showed people who were not married having sex. Today it is accepted.

Movies and TV are promoting an illicit lifestyle by showing unmarried couples living together and having children. I don’t need to get into the reasons why children need a stable home life with two married parents. Everyone knows the tragedy of broken homes.

Back to chocolate. I told my students that they should say to their parents that we discussed chocolate if they asked what we talked about on those Sundays. One father asked me why his son said that we studied chocolate that week. I explained what it meant, and he thanked me for covering that subject with the guys.

In eighteen years, he was the only parent to even ask the question. Young people will only know what is acceptable by their parents or the Church telling them. Many have decided that we are old-fashioned in our position on this. I believe God’s commandments should be obeyed no matter what our culture accepts. I hope you agree with Him.

Boy Named Sue

January 26, 2023

This morning on the radio there was a discussion about a man who suggested a technique for disciplining children during the period leading up to Christmas. He said to wrap gifts and put them under the tree early. When a child disobeys, take one and throw it into your fireplace.

The conversation turned to how traumatic this would be for the kids. One caller suggested using positive reinforcement instead of discipline. A DJ suggested using the gifts but telling the offending offspring that continued misbehavior would require the gift to be returned to Santa Claus.

Several points need to be considered when raising children. I am reminded of the Johnny Cash song “The Boy Named Sue.” If you know the song, I am sure you disagree with the father’s giving his son a girl’s name to turn him into a man who could defend himself. It is a stupid idea that hopefully no one ever actually did to their child.

Parents are not immune to producing ignorant ideas for teaching kids what they want them to learn. Some of the ideas of child-rearing that I mentioned are what to teach, how to teach, and when to teach.

Both the dad with the Christmas gifts that were fake that he threw into the fire and Johnny Cash’s father in “Boy Named Sue” was trying to make their children into adults who could be counted on in society. Maybe not in the way they wanted them to be.

Discipline is supposed to instruct youngsters in the things that they need to be productive, sensitive, and caring adults. An angry child will grow up to be an adult who is a powder keg. They may blow at any time. The boy named Sue will also be very volatile because he has been teased throughout his life.

Kiddos need to learn how to be adults. They need to have responsibility and independence at appropriate levels at a time when they can grasp the concepts and perform their best.

My father made some mistakes with us. He probably was trying to raise us the way he was. Like me he was the youngest son and had a younger sister that was spoiled rotten. I know that because the older siblings continued to baby her even when I was old enough to see what they were doing. We tried not to do that to our girls. I hope we were successful. Were we, girls?

Love is the key to growing children as much as light and fertilizer are to growing plants. Just for the fun of it, add a little humor. I know all the comments about Dad jokes. Not all dad jokes are bad. There are also Mom jokes. It is just that no one tells her that hers are not funny.

Be watching for the column on love. I’ll use Paul’s definition to help you understand how to bring a child up knowing what love is and how to show it. That is for another day.

Walk With a Servant