And then there was one

No, I did not misquote the name of a famous Agatha Christy novel and movie. She is the last of the Clemens clan, belonging to James and Gertrude from Webster County, Missouri. She is my aunt. She has twelve siblings who made it to adulthood. Currently, we call her Aunt Amanda. I will save her the embarrassment of telling you what her parents and siblings used to call her.

As the years progress and we lose first one and then another of the cousins and someday the last of the Clemens sisters, I want to take this Mother’s Day to honor my Mom, Mary. We are cheered by the memories and encouraged that even more are in store for our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

I could tell you about my mother’s sisters and brothers, and I have in my book “Doulos.” You can read it as a paid subscriber to my premium materials. Whom I want to write about today is my mother.

Her name is Mary Francis Clemens Kensinger, which I know makes us sound like we are not true Americans. We are, and she began her life with the first three on this list. When she and Evan Kensinger were married, she, like 99% of her generation, took his last name. When you read that I have an Uncle Sam and say his pen name is Mark Twain, it is because she is a Clemens.

Our daughters and the other grandchildren called her Granny. When I was a kid, she talked about Irene Ryan, who played Daisy Moses on “The Beverly Hillbillies,” and when our oldest was born, she said she would be Granny. I completely understood why.

Mom was one of the reasons I know how to be a good parent and spouse. I received my share of spankings and other discipline types over the years, but I noticed that my sister and I were not given corporal punishment as often as our older brothers. We tried to follow that example with our girls. We spanked from time to time when we thought it was required.

Mom and Dad demonstrated what it meant to love with the Agape’ love of Jehovah as Paul describes. They were patient, kind, and faithful to each other. Mom demonstrated that to me often, no more so than when she described a conversation with one of Dad’s doctors.

Dad was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was in high school, and Mom would take him to the hospital whenever his medication needed to be changed. This was a constant with that disease. Once she told me that she told the doctor that she was done. He asked her if she meant she wanted a divorce. Her response was, “Of course not.”

She said that what she meant was that she was done with dealing with the return of the symptoms and had delayed bringing him back as long as she felt was best. I never knew about this, and it was one of many things she confessed to me after he had passed away.

Thank you, Mom, for all you gave Cindy and I. Our marriage has been blessed by your example, and I work every day to love Cindy and our daughters the way you loved Dad and us kids. Thank you for the book title, also.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

Love potion no. 1

Do you recognize the song “Love Potion No. Nine?” It originated in 1959, recorded by The Clovers and returned in 1964 by The Searchers when it reached #2 and #3 on the charts. Many other groups have released it. A young man goes to a gypsy and asks for something to improve his love life.

The question I have is “What is Love?” Is it a feeling? Can you get someone to love you if they do not want to? Can you fall in and out of love? These are questions that a lot of people have asked over the years.

Just so you know, I am talking about the Biblical view of the word agape’ that is translated in the King James Version (KJV) of the scriptures. There are five words in the Greek language that are translated love. I like to transliterate, which means I will be substituting agape’ for love in the verses I relate to you.

I will try not to confuse you with this substitution. One of the most used definitions of agape is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, where it says that love is patient, love is kind.

My question when someone asks me if they are in love is, “Are you patient with them?” Patience is what few of us have with others. If we want patience, we want it right now. That is counterproductive. When you are loved with Godly love, they will wait on you to speak, to make decisions, and to meet them in places.

If they are impatient, it is not agape that they have toward you. I started to say, if they feel agape’ love, but agape’ is not an emotion. It is an action. The D.C. Talk song “Love is a Verb” talks about this kind of love. “I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what you’ve heard. Love, love, love is a verb.”

Saying something three times shows that your thought is complete. There is nothing else to say about that. Right, Forest?   I often use the phrase, “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” Three phrases complete the thought.

Another question I like to ask is, “Are you kind to them?” That usually generates a weird look and/or a “huh.” God’s type of love is the one where you want to be kind. Not the one where you use them or take advantage of them. They are not your possession. You love a friend with agape’ love. The love that most of us think of is the Greek word Eros. This is sex. I’ve talked about lust before. That is not love; it is physical desire.

If sex is what you thought this column was about, you were wrong. I am sorry, you do not need my instruction in how to sex more often or with someone new. That is not who I am. I want you to have a better relationship with either a husband or a wife or people you have nonsexual relationships with.

That is the end of Love Potion no. 1. We will continue with what love is as no. 2. Those contain, “It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I know I may have lost some of you with patience and kindness. You may not want to come back for the next dose of God’s love potion.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger