Children – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

It’s nine o’clock on a Sunday

March 30, 2026

Of course, I am speaking of AM. Billy Joel begins his song “Piano Man” with five o’clock on a Saturday, which is PM. He is speaking of the bar that he is playing at. He then describes the crowd that walks in, sits down, and has a few. The TV sitcom “Cheers” theme song was “Where Everybody Knows Your Name.”

I always thought that it was your local church. You can tell which one I go to more often. Nine o’clock on a Sunday refers to going to church. I would like to talk about some of the general types of characters that you might see on a Sunday morning.

We all know that the pastor will be there. When I am listing these descriptions of folks, your pastor or deacon, etc., may show up under these. Some of the members of the congregation at your church may overlap in these areas. They are all meant to be humorous and not insulting to anyone, even me.

Susy Sunshine is there every week with a smile on her face. She’s happy, and the other ladies wonder why. They think she must be drunk or on drugs to be that happy all the time. She’s just putting on a face because her husband just left her with two kids and took off with his secretary.

Nicholas Nobody walks in the door, and the greeter shakes his hand. He walks with his head down as no one speaks his name or says a word to him except for Jocular Jed. More on him later. He’s new and wonders if he should even have come.

The sports fanatic is there every week unless the football, hockey, baseball, lacrosse, or tidily wink match starts before church ends. They are there religiously when it does not interfere with these. Don’t worry, they will make up for the tithes they miss from their winnings in sports betting.

I already mentioned Jed, and I used the term jocular because he is the guy who always tells jokes. Some are funny, others are not. Part of them don’t even make sense. They all take too long to tell. At least Nicholas smiles at most of the things Jed tells him. Jed knows that most of the others think he’s foolish, and he considers himself a fool for Christ.

It’s time to think of the ones that are hiding under the pews. That’s right, the children. They crawl from the front to the back, looking for that squirrel that Ray Stevens sang the song about. They start out with mom and dad and sing all the songs that they know.

The teenagers are sitting somewhere. They may be scattered or in a group. If the church has a youth minister, he and his wife are close to this group. These are the future of the Church. They need love and encouragement.

There is one last group that should never be forgotten in the church. These are the older adults. We have been around for longer than any others. Some of us are grandparents or great-grandparents. We used to be the backbone of the body and are now viewed as the last generation.

Sex is not a four-letter word

March 28, 2026

I know some of you are going, “Duh, of course, it is a three-letter word.” I am using the phrase as being an offensive term for some. Jehovah created it as the reproductive method for human beings. I find it enjoyable in the confines of the marital relationship.

There are many different philosophies about the idea of this three-letter word. We need to think the way that our Lord does. He said that a man should leave his parents and the woman should leave her family, and they would become one flesh. This is about as definite an expression of procreation as you can have.

All through the book of Genisis we have examples of men and women having children. In the King James Version of the Bible the conception was noted as the husband knowing his wife. This term was used because of what God intended sex to be.

Not only is it a way to reproduce but it is designed for the couple to be physically as well as spiritually intimate. Intimacy or closeness is the intended result of coupling. There are certain times when this will create a new life. Keep in mind that there is life from conception.

It is not tissue or an embryo, it is living. Not yet, breathing but still alive. Destroying him or her at any point is killing. Sex started this and man can end them. It is wrong to destroy this person unless the life of the mother is in danger. That is why she should have the deciding vote. Not for her convenience, just to save her life.

Often religious folks like to criticize the concept of this process. Get over it. This is not a sin any more than breathing is. Sex used improperly is disobedience. If you can do something it is not necessarily correct to do it. This is the foundation of what is referred to as sin.

You can tell what you know about someone else and that is called gossip. Justify it by saying that all you did was tell the truth. We are commanded to tell the truth in love, not to reveal secrets that will hurt another. Remember Jesus told us to treat others as we wish to be treated. That is why it is called the Golden Rule. The golden rule is not, “He who has the gold makes the rules.”

Sexuality is not something that we should be ashamed of God made it as part of humanity. He always knows what is best for us. He wanted us to be couples and families. We all know some dysfunctional families. I hope you do not have one.

It is time for we Christians to proclaim that we are who He made use to be and He does not make mistakes. Accept the fact that we are made in His image and that we are also made to be men and women, fathers and mothers. He wanted us to enjoy life, why not enjoy it His way.

Fostering or adoption

March 13, 2026

Have you considered either of these options? This morning on the radio, the announcer was speaking of a podcast where the guest was encouraging others to promote fostering in their church congregations. Some of our friends over the years have adopted children or been foster parents.

I remember a single mom that I knew from church when I was a teenager. She had three daughters, and her youngest was a boy. Another friend and his wife had three daughters. The first lady died, and the father did not want his children. The three girls had places to go with the family, but no one wanted the boy.

My friend and his wife applied to be foster parents with the intent of eventually adopting this little guy. This was what happened, and as with many families, the son eventually rebelled against his adopted family, and it was years before he returned to them after he grew up enough to realize we all need someone.

I have shared another story of adoption before. One of the young men in my class at church asked me one morning after class if his mother loved him. I knew what he was talking about because he had been adopted as a baby. He wanted to know why his birth mother had given him up.

I asked what year he was born, and when he told me, I responded that she did love him. The question in his eyes told me I needed to explain. I informed him that abortion had been legalized in the U.S. with the Roe Vs. Wade Supreme Court decision in 1972. His birth was after that.

If she had not cared about him, she could have simply aborted the pregnancy, and he would never have been born. Many women have fallen prey to the lies that these are not human beings and are called fetuses or blobs of tissue. I know that the Bible teaches that we are alive from conception.

I explained this to him and told him that his birth mother knew he was important and needed a family that could provide for him. To me, that was the ultimate act of love: allowing others to raise him after she gave birth. He seemed to understand this answer and went to church.

A short time later, his adoptive mother asked me what I had said to him. I told her exactly what I had said. She told me that he had been asking her and his dad this question, and they were unable to say anything that satisfied him. When he stopped asking, she questioned why, and he told her that I had convinced him that she did love him. That’s why she asked me what I had said.

Adoption and fostering are both admirable things to do. Do it to help the children, not to fulfill a desire in your life or to make money from the support that may be given to foster parents. My wife and I love our daughters. We were like many characters in the Bible. We knew each other, and she became pregnant. It was easy for us.

When it is more difficult, consider helping a child who needs a family. One family in our church fosters newborns until they can be placed permanently. At times, these children return to them when the new family doesn’t work out. Mostly, they love the babies for a few weeks, and then they take in the next child.

One boy returned to them and stayed. He’s in high school now. He is one of the finest young men I know. He is well-behaved and highly intelligent and, if he makes good decisions, will go far. I have seen the opposite happen. An adopted child sometimes makes poor choices and makes their lives more difficult, just like our naturally born children can.

That is up to the kids. As parents, we raise them the best we can, make mistakes, apologize and ask forgiveness, and continue the process. This is true whether they are born to us, adopted, or with us for a short period. As parents, that is what we do for our children.

Five who will not listen to you

March 5, 2026

Let me tell you who these are. Your cat. Any cat, really. Cats do not listen except to their name or a door opening or maybe a can opener. They have very sensitive ears. They simply do not understand words. They comprehend petting and playing. They know who feeds them and is supposed to clean their litter box. Don’t do this and they will remind you.

Do you ever complain that your children don’t listen? Again, this is not just yours. Youngsters in general have difficulty following instructions. They are people after all. Once again, they respond to love and play. Speak the language they understand and they will comprehend. Yell at them or criticize them and they will not.

They also do not respond to being ignored. If you have ever had a child ask a question that you did not know the answer to or want to respond to at that moment, they will continue to press you. Just like a hungry cat. Give them what they want, and they will leave you alone, momentarily.

Bosses are others that will not listen unless you are saying what they want to hear. When they ask what you think, they do not necessarily want that answer. Some are not sure that their employees can think. Thinking is what they are paid for, and many are overpaid.

When they ask what you think of the concept they have just given to you, they may only want agreement. Give it to them. “Is this a good idea?” Do not say no. Say that it is and immediately add whatever your suggestion to improve on it is. Say it slowly and clearly. Then shut up.

If they want comments, they will accept what you say. If not, avoid confrontation and wait a while. Soon their thoughts may alter. I have often made suggestions, been told they were bad ideas, and left the discussion there. Later the concepts I expressed became the boss’s new directives and were implemented.

Do not try to take credit for their own brainstorms, you’ll get washed away. It is now their idea no matter how much you try to reason them out of it. Take the win. What needed to be done got done. When you become the boss, remember what they did and do not repeat their error.

Both husbands and wives are accused of not listening. That is correct. We all have selective deafness. We are only grownup children after all. The truth is that this malady is not limited to a sex or age group. We really should not limit this to just these five groups.

Politicians are the last of the five. The reason I say this is because I have listened to interviews with them for over fifty years. Most of the time their answers to questions do not answer those inquiries. They may have to deal with the topic but seldom provide an adequate response.

Work on your listening skills. Practice stopping what you are doing when your spouse or kids are trying to get your attention. We all need to concentrate on our communication skills. Listening is an essential part of our relationships. Don’t be one of the sixth group, those who do not care.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

November 27, 2025

Giving thanks to Jesus

November 26, 2025

We are in what is often referred to as the Thanksgiving season. For others, it is black November or a prelude to the Christmas buying frenzy. It is fall and the leaves are leaving the trees in Missouri. In other parts of the country, they have had snow, or the beaches are full. Life goes on.

When I think of giving thanks, I first think of my parents. They gave me life, a home, an education, their love and support, and more than I can express in words. I thank my children for allowing their mother and I to teach them what we knew, not just in words. I believe they picked up the things that we did not say, but showed them.

Without our children, we would not have these twelve grandchildren that seem to occupy our thoughts and lives. When they are all here, they are a wonderful and noisy house full. I could enumerate all the blessings you have brought to us. I think I will save that for a book.

I need to express my appreciation to the churches, pastors, and leadership of all the congregations that I have worked with over the years. Many of these groups and individuals have appeared in other columns. I won’t take the space here to reiterate what has already been said.

The employers I have had also deserve a round of applause. I would not be who I am without you. Some of you just wanted my time and talents, and you received those. Others gave me more than money; you gave me experience, knowledge, and the discernment that I needed to make my way through this world.

Many coworkers and friends have come to me at these businesses. I am thankful for all of you and my other friends that I have picked up from churches and a multitude of other places and situations. You have befriended me, chastised me, and encouraged me, and I am forever grateful for your kindness and companionship.

Who am I leaving out? I’ll get to the most important in a minute. First, I need to thank my country. It is not a person. It is an idea or an ideal. It was established by people I never met and founded on principles I have learned to believe in. It is not perfect because it contains people. The freedom I enjoy here was purchased by the lives of thousands in many ways.

My wife deserves more thanks than I can possibly express. Her love, compassion, and friendship have kept me going and slapped me out of my complacency when I needed it. Without her, I would not have those twelve grandchildren that we love so much. The best way to say thank you to her is 1-4-3. She knows what that means.

Lastly, I must thank my Savior, Jesus, who is called the Christ or the Messiah. Without Him, I would have none of these other people in my life. What wisdom and knowledge I have ultimately must be attributed to Him. He has led me away from paths that were better for me not to go down. At least, when I listened.

Boy Named Sue

January 26, 2023

This morning on the radio there was a discussion about a man who suggested a technique for disciplining children during the period leading up to Christmas. He said to wrap gifts and put them under the tree early. When a child disobeys, take one and throw it into your fireplace.

The conversation turned to how traumatic this would be for the kids. One caller suggested using positive reinforcement instead of discipline. A DJ suggested using the gifts but telling the offending offspring that continued misbehavior would require the gift to be returned to Santa Claus.

Several points need to be considered when raising children. I am reminded of the Johnny Cash song “The Boy Named Sue.” If you know the song, I am sure you disagree with the father’s giving his son a girl’s name to turn him into a man who could defend himself. It is a stupid idea that hopefully no one ever actually did to their child.

Parents are not immune to producing ignorant ideas for teaching kids what they want them to learn. Some of the ideas of child-rearing that I mentioned are what to teach, how to teach, and when to teach.

Both the dad with the Christmas gifts that were fake that he threw into the fire and Johnny Cash’s father in “Boy Named Sue” was trying to make their children into adults who could be counted on in society. Maybe not in the way they wanted them to be.

Discipline is supposed to instruct youngsters in the things that they need to be productive, sensitive, and caring adults. An angry child will grow up to be an adult who is a powder keg. They may blow at any time. The boy named Sue will also be very volatile because he has been teased throughout his life.

Kiddos need to learn how to be adults. They need to have responsibility and independence at appropriate levels at a time when they can grasp the concepts and perform their best.

My father made some mistakes with us. He probably was trying to raise us the way he was. Like me he was the youngest son and had a younger sister that was spoiled rotten. I know that because the older siblings continued to baby her even when I was old enough to see what they were doing. We tried not to do that to our girls. I hope we were successful. Were we, girls?

Love is the key to growing children as much as light and fertilizer are to growing plants. Just for the fun of it, add a little humor. I know all the comments about Dad jokes. Not all dad jokes are bad. There are also Mom jokes. It is just that no one tells her that hers are not funny.

Be watching for the column on love. I’ll use Paul’s definition to help you understand how to bring a child up knowing what love is and how to show it. That is for another day.

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Walk With a Servant

Tag: Children