I’ve officiated at several weddings over the years. I remember the first one in the fall of 1976. Cindy and I had not been married for a year. My store manager at Wendy’s asked his girlfriend to marry him. When she said yes, he asked me to marry them. I used standard traditional vows for them. Love, honor, and cherish till death do you part. The line, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse was also included in the ceremony.

As the years went by and other weddings, I noticed that some brides and grooms did not want these words and those traditional vows were changed. One couple gave me a ceremony they downloaded from the internet that included their children from other marriages. Their pastor had declined to marry them because of the vows.

Think about what the phrase for better or for worse means. The best situations you can imagine are the better. No one wants to think about what the worst could be. What if the plane crashed as you were flying home from your honeymoon? What could be worse? It crashed on the way to the location.

What would cause you to get a divorce? Adultery? Finding out that your spouse had a million dollars of debt and no intention of ever paying it off? They were married before and forgot to tell you. And they also neglected to get a divorce. As you move into your first place together, the police pull up and arrest your one and only for rape or murder.

Would you stick it out in these situations? What is the worst you can think of? Do you know that often it is the best thing that causes a marriage to fail? Children can be a bone of contention for some couples. Women may transfer their love for their husbands to their children. He would be torn between his love for them and his need for companionship.

Wedding vows only work when you commit to each other for life. No matter what. Our marriage has lasted for forty-eight years. My Mom and Dad never made it to forty. He died when he was sixty. Mom could have found many reasons to end their marriage. She did not.

Commitment is difficult. Do not run from it. Run toward it. Fight for it and each other. I find it interesting that many couples refer to each other as a fiancé. They haven’t even set a date and have been living together for years. I’ve seen these relationships break up shortly after the wedding.

Good and bad are relative. All it takes is for circumstances to change. Hang in there, baby. The best and the worst you can imagine will change. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Challenge yourselves to become better than you have ever been.

©Copyright 2024 by Charles Kensinger