Friends – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Welcome home Gary

January 21, 2026

I first met Gary about fifty-three years ago. I know that because I had not met my wife yet. I was introduced to her fifty-two years ago. Don and I traveled to Hamlin Memorial Baptist Church from Immanuel, where we went. We had been called to restart the Royal Ambassador program there.

Gary, the associational R.A. director, asked us to visit them on Wednesday evening. In the summer, I volunteered to be a counselor at Baptist Hill, which is important to him. He also called me, and I scheduled a practice game for the Immanuel women’s softball team I led and the Hamlin team he coached.

I began to see him often after Cindy, and I started dating. He and Geri were at our wedding, which was held at Cindy’s church, Hamlin. Gary was our class leader when we visited on weekends while we lived in Joplin. After we moved back to Springfield, he was our young married class leader until I began teaching.

Gary was a deacon, and he and his wife were involved in many events where the Deacon Body led the church. I joined his R.A. staff and worked closely with him, and later became the R.A. Director when he moved on to other ministries.

I took some advice from him and took a week of vacation from work each summer to lead Vacation Bible School. He was working with younger people to teach them to become the leaders that they are today. When his kids were in the children’s and youth groups, I was one of their teachers.

One Sunday, when Ryan, his son, was in my seventh and eighth grade class, we had an impromptu discussion of sex. Our lessons had an annual discussion on this subject. That morning, I answered questions that the boys had. I ended the class with a warning to them to tell their parents that we discussed chocolate, if they were asked.

That evening at church, Gary confronted me and wanted to know what his son meant when he told him our lesson was on chocolate. I explained a story I had used to teach the young men on the correct approach to sex. Some of those men remember that discussion; others do not. I often would use this code word to alert Gary when I was broaching this subject with a group.

Gary and I continued to work together as Deacons and leaders at Hamlin until they moved to another church, and he continued to be the same man who had taught me how to be a better minister and father. Gary’s life was not as easy as mine had been. He had served in Vietnam and experienced situations I never had.

Gary and Geri’s son and daughter know more about the trials that he experienced. I witnessed his anger on a few occasions and tried to understand because I also have issues with anger. Most of us do at times. Like all of us, we are not perfect.

Gary knew that he was not without sin. He taught his children and I that, despite our sinful state, Jesus could be our savior and Lord. Because he knew this, when his earthly body died, his soul and spirit went home. He was welcomed there as we who have accepted Jesus will be.

Good Times

December 24, 2025

I spend a lot of my columns remembering the good times of my life. This time, I would like to speak to my younger readers. If you are sixteen to twenty-four years old, these should be some great times for you. It is Christmas on top of that. Let’s talk about what is going on right now for you.

You probably still live at home with mom and dad if you are fortunate, as I was. Even if you only live with one parent or some other responsible adult, I hope you are having a great time. You have friends and family around. Enjoy them by going to school or church functions.

Don’t skip the family or work parties. I had a great time with the guys and gals I worked with in high school and college. We had a good time. No one got drunk, or high, or shot, or arrested. That is what I hope for you.

Don’t worry about the bad stuff in the news. Most of us are blessed enough to go through life without being directly involved in situations that make it to the local news. I know you do not think your parents and other adults treat you the way they should. That’s life, get used to it.

Enjoy the parades, concerts, parties, and just driving around looking at the decorations and lights. You are young. Someday, you will be old like me, and you want to have those memories. What memories? Read my other columns, and you will learn of my recollections.

If you are in a choir, band, orchestra, or clubs, go to the parties. Stay away from the drugs and drinking and the “friends” that ask you to do things you don’t want to. There are times that you don’t have anything to do so grab a couple of friends and do what you want to do, as long it is legal, mostly.

I lived in a small city where it was safe to walk or drive around town and enjoy the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings of this time of year. Have a good time with people that you know and care about.

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and happiness. Make the most of each moment. Take the time off from school and work, and do what you and your girlfriend or boyfriend enjoy doing. Maybe don’t spend a lot of time alone with them. Enjoy their company and double date or go to parties.

God created us and said that His creation was good. It becomes bad only if people make it bad. Don’t be one of those that spoils the fun, if you can help it. Walk away from fights and arguments. Stay with those who aren’t trying to get themselves arrested or killed. That was easy for me.

There will come a day in thirty or forty years when you will say, “I remember when . . .” Let them have good memories of the music, friends, laughter, and fun. OK, now for the rest of us. I just talked to a friend of mine who celebrated his ninetieth birthday before Christmas. I never heard of a sixteen- or twenty-one-year-old who had more fun. Make this Christmas your best.

Giving thanks to Jesus

November 26, 2025

We are in what is often referred to as the Thanksgiving season. For others, it is black November or a prelude to the Christmas buying frenzy. It is fall and the leaves are leaving the trees in Missouri. In other parts of the country, they have had snow, or the beaches are full. Life goes on.

When I think of giving thanks, I first think of my parents. They gave me life, a home, an education, their love and support, and more than I can express in words. I thank my children for allowing their mother and I to teach them what we knew, not just in words. I believe they picked up the things that we did not say, but showed them.

Without our children, we would not have these twelve grandchildren that seem to occupy our thoughts and lives. When they are all here, they are a wonderful and noisy house full. I could enumerate all the blessings you have brought to us. I think I will save that for a book.

I need to express my appreciation to the churches, pastors, and leadership of all the congregations that I have worked with over the years. Many of these groups and individuals have appeared in other columns. I won’t take the space here to reiterate what has already been said.

The employers I have had also deserve a round of applause. I would not be who I am without you. Some of you just wanted my time and talents, and you received those. Others gave me more than money; you gave me experience, knowledge, and the discernment that I needed to make my way through this world.

Many coworkers and friends have come to me at these businesses. I am thankful for all of you and my other friends that I have picked up from churches and a multitude of other places and situations. You have befriended me, chastised me, and encouraged me, and I am forever grateful for your kindness and companionship.

Who am I leaving out? I’ll get to the most important in a minute. First, I need to thank my country. It is not a person. It is an idea or an ideal. It was established by people I never met and founded on principles I have learned to believe in. It is not perfect because it contains people. The freedom I enjoy here was purchased by the lives of thousands in many ways.

My wife deserves more thanks than I can possibly express. Her love, compassion, and friendship have kept me going and slapped me out of my complacency when I needed it. Without her, I would not have those twelve grandchildren that we love so much. The best way to say thank you to her is 1-4-3. She knows what that means.

Lastly, I must thank my Savior, Jesus, who is called the Christ or the Messiah. Without Him, I would have none of these other people in my life. What wisdom and knowledge I have ultimately must be attributed to Him. He has led me away from paths that were better for me not to go down. At least, when I listened.

Do something

September 24, 2025

Someone’s name comes to my mind, and I talk to Jesus about them. It may be a friend or even someone like the President. I speak to my Lord about what this person needs. I do not ask about their desires. He may not tell me what the need is. Other times He gives me ideas of things they have said that triggers my thoughts

Since I am talking to the creator of the universe, I ask Him to give this to them or do it for them. This is what prayer is: communication with Holy Spirit. If you are not a believer and He is not your Lord, the only words He will receive from you are a request for forgiveness.

This does not appear to be much on my part. But I do something, I pray. If you are not someone who talks to God or Jesus frequently, it may sound strange. For those of you who know Him like I do, it is familiar.

When I see a person standing by the side of the road with a sign, I ask Him to give them what they need. I do not ask Him to give them money. They want money. This may be what they do for a living. Many of these are professional panhandlers. I’ve spoken of them before.

They need a desire to change the way they make their money. They need to do something constructive with their lives. And that isn’t to teach others how to beg. Many professional fundraisers do this for a living. They receive a portion of what they take in for charities as their pay.

In college, I worked for some of these people. One time I sold tickets by phone for a circus. We told the patrons that it was to help underprivileged children attend the event. I did very well at that. I stopped when I discovered that less than five percent of what they donated was used for these tickets.

When I say to do something for someone else, I want you to do it for them. If your motivation is merely for yourself, it isn’t for them, is it? We all do things for ourselves. I am talking about not thinking about what it will do for you.

There are always things that you can do to benefit another that do little or nothing for you. Pick up the check at lunch. I have family and friends who do this for us. It is appreciated. We return the favor or instigate the act. I often purchased meals for customers when I was in sales. You know what they say, “There is no such thing as a free lunch.”

For me this was not true. My lunch was free as well. The company paid me to do this for them. They bought my meal. I did give up my lunch hour off the clock to enjoy a meal with them. When I was in purchasing, I accepted the pleasure of dining with my vendors. I used the time to get to know them better.

This was part of what I refer to as my ministry. I was a workplace minister for over forty years. If you do not know what this is, I will explain it. God called me to the gospel ministry as He does every born-again believer. He did not want me to be a pastor or evangelist, as some are called.

My service was to those that I encountered in the work-a-day world. I talked to coworkers, others I met during the workday, and even people I encountered off the clock and on weekends. I still do that. I am doing that now by writing these columns for you.

I am asking you to do the same. Do something for someone else. It can be family, friends, or people you don’t even know. When you are eating out, does the desire to overtip hit you? Do it. Have you heard of servers getting $100 tips? Sometimes they don’t know it until they take it off the table. Do something. Even if it is just $20 or talking to God about them.

Friends and family

August 18, 2025

I’d like to discuss several things with you today. The first is family and friends. I am fortunate that I have had a lot of family all my life. I have two older brothers and a younger sister, thanks to my mom and dad. In addition, there was an abundance of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many are now gone, but each generation is larger than the last.

The truth is that we are not as close as we once were. We attend family reunions, funerals, and sometimes even weddings. Not like we used to. The youngest generation doesn’t seem to marry as often as we did. Some of my cousins got married two or three times each. We all just tend to die once, and recently we are living longer. I know it isn’t due to healthy living.

What brought on this wave of nostalgia? A commercial about one of these delivery services. A lady is lying in her bed, and there is some unidentifiable noise and movement around her. The camera pans back, and her bed is caught between two automatic doors. The voice over says, “If you can’t take your bed to the store,” then they will bring whatever you need to you.

Guess what, isn’t that what friends and family are for? In the bad old days before smartphone apps, you just picked up the phone, plugged into the wall, and called family or a friend to bring you what you needed.

We are suffering from violence, attacks, and other crimes against more people than ever. There seems to be no way to avoid this. My wife and I seldom leave our home at night. We have a security system at our place, and we know our neighbors. We feel secure in our home.

Do we need to have random strangers coming to our home bringing groceries, medications, and prepared food? There are cases where these random strangers return later, and you are no longer safe. If I do not know you, I don’t invite you into my home.

We go out to pick up carry-out. We do not choose Door Ditch, Pan Handle Pete, or Consta Cart to bring things to us. We occasionally ask our pharmacy to deliver prescriptions. We used to call the pizza place for delivery until the drivers looked like the perps on Blue Bloods or the undercover cops from Chicago PD. We have taken medicines to our kids for their kids or themselves. Especially when they were quarantined during the COVID-19 crisis.

Have you seen the original Crocodile Dundee movie? You know, the one named “Crocodile Dundee.” There is a scene in it where Dundee is told that the reporter he is visiting in New York needs to go to a therapist. Mick doesn’t understand. He asks, “Don’t you have any mates?”

Friends and family or mates used to help each other out. They still do in some communities. Our neighbors, church community, and close family still do. I’ve been called by cousins and friends to officiate at weddings and funerals, as well as get someone to a doctor or take food for them when they are ill. It costs us money not to have people we trust and on whom we can depend.

The next time you need something and can’t go get it for yourself, stop and think of whom you can call to bring it to you. You can’t think of anyone? How about one of those for whom you did the same thing last week? Has it been a while since you helped someone? Maybe that is the problem?

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger