Tag: Friendship

Happy Birthday, Gary

August 12, 2025

Old friends are a treasure that some do not have in abundance. I am not one of those. In the 1960’s we lived on Nichols Street. The house sat on one lot, and the lot next door on the corner of Warren Ave. also belonged to Dad and Mom. To the east on Nichols was Rick. Rob lived on West Ave. Frank and Gary lived north on Warren. I’ve lost track of all of them except for the last. Over the last several years, I have tried to call him on his birthday. This year, I am going to write about some of our joint experiences.

I could call him a hand-me-down friend, but I prefer the terms longtime family friend or brother from a different mother. Gary started school at York Elementary, the same year my brother Sam did. Four years later, when I began my education there, they did not want a kid like me hanging around. When my brother graduated from high school and joined the Navy, the process of being a family friend had already started.

We attended the same church, and when I was in the Youth group, he was in High School and graduated the year I finished Junior High. He took a year away from SMSU and his degree to join the National Guard to begin his military career. He returned as a part-time student and was there when my college career began four years after he started.

Lunch at the cafeteria, or Bear’s Den, bowling, and pinball games at the campus union solidified this friendship between my brother Bud, Gary, and me. If it had not been for him bringing the new pastor at church to meet me and invite me to a group for college students, I might not have been called and accepted my call to ministry. Because of that, I left SMSU and transferred to Southwest Baptist College.

As a side note, Gary’s first nephew was born on my sixteenth birthday, the day before his. I don’t know if I have been forgiven for the ribbing I gave him about that. He may not know it, but one of my daughters was born in August. Fortunately, she came before either of our birthdays. I was glad because I didn’t want the teasing I gave him.

Gary graduated and was promoted and moved by the company he worked for. We saw each other briefly at Christmas. When Sam went back to the Navy, he drove to visit Gary up north and through Pennsylvania to see me where I was pastoring a church that summer, and then down to his duty station in Florida.

The next phase of our relationship was when he returned to Springfield and began working where Cindy, my wife, worked. I remember the night he came by our house and told us he had been terminated. That was when he started dating his future wife, who also worked there.

He raised his family, and I mine these last forty years, and we have talked from time to time. Some special occasions brought us together. Birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, and even the occasional Walmart trips meant short or protracted conversations.

He is still employed, unlike Cindy and I. From time to time, I visit him at work, as I did when I was working, and he is someone I can confide in and share memories with him that no one else knows about.

We can truly be called old friends in more ways than one. This is my way of saying, Happy Birthday to you, my dear friend. And many more.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger

Friends and family

July 5, 2025

I want to talk to you about several things today. The first is family and friends. I am fortunate that I have had a lot of family all my life. I have two older brothers and a younger sister, thanks to my mom and dad. In addition, there was an abundance of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many are now gone, but each generation is larger than the last.

The truth is that we are not as close as we once were. We have family reunions and attend funerals and sometimes even weddings. Not like we used to. The youngest generation doesn’t seem to marry as often as we did. Some of my cousins got married two or three times each. We all just tend to die once, and recently we are living longer. I know it isn’t due to healthy living.

What brought on this wave of nostalgia? A commercial about one of these delivery services. A lady is lying in her bed, and there is some unidentified noise and movement around her. The camera pans back, and her bed is caught between two automatic doors. The voice over says, “If you can’t take your bed to the store,” then they will bring whatever you need to you.

Guess what, isn’t that what friends and family are for? In the bad old days before smartphone apps, you just picked up the phone, plugged it into the wall, and called family or a friend to bring you what you needed.

We are suffering from violence, attacks, and other crimes against more people than ever. There seems to be no way to avoid this. My wife and I seldom leave our home at night. We have a security system at our place, and we know our neighbors. We feel secure in our home.

Do we need to have random strangers coming to our home bringing groceries, medications, and prepared food? There are cases where these random strangers return later, and you are no longer safe. If I do not know you, I don’t invite you into my home.

We go out to pick up carry-out. We do not choose Door Ditch, Pan Handle Pete, or Consta Cart to bring things to us. We occasionally ask our pharmacy to deliver prescriptions. We used to call the pizza place for delivery until the drivers looked like the perps on Blue Bloods or the undercover cops from Chicago PD. We have taken medicines for our kids, for their kids, or for ourselves. Especially when they were quarantined during the COVID-19 crisis.

Have you seen the original Crocodile Dundee movie? You know, the one named “Crocodile Dundee.” There is a scene in it where Dundee is told that the reporter he is visiting in New York needs to go to a therapist. Mick doesn’t understand. He asks, “Don’t you have any mates?”

Friends, family, or mates used to help each other out. They still do in some communities. Our neighbors, church community, and close family still do. I’ve been called by cousins and friends to officiate at weddings and funerals, as well as get someone to a doctor or take food for them when they are ill. It costs us money not to have people we trust and on whom we can depend.

The next time you need something and can’t go get it for yourself, stop and think of whom you can call to bring it to you. Can’t think of anyone? How about one of those that you did the same thing for last week? It’s been a while since you helped someone else? Maybe that is the problem?

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger

Gifts from God

January 18, 2025

When we think about gifts from God, I am not sure that we all think of the things listed in this song. Your job, whether you like it or not, is given by God. James 1:17 tells us that every perfect gift comes from above.

This song is not talking about gifts of the spirit. It is speaking of the daily blessings that each of us receive and do not recognize as gifts. Let’s talk about some of the things that are not mentioned in the list given in the song. Or maybe we can talk about some of those in it as well.

Most of us take life for granted. The Declaration of Independence, which we celebrate in this country every July 4th, calls it one of the self-evident truths. Thomas Jefferson put it as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Those who take the lives of others do not seem to agree with this.

When I was unemployed for over three years, I came to realize that a job was another thing I should always be thankful for. Getting up in the morning and doing work for a day or two at a time is wonderful. I was thankful for each temporary position that I acquired. I still wanted the security of a place to go each day and a regular paycheck.

My family is a gift that this song points out. There are also my friends and my church that I must mention. They are in my life to keep me focused on the things that I need to appreciate. Someone I can joke with is also a gift that I often overlook. Do you have anyone that will take all your grief and give it back to you?

I can walk into a room, approach a perfect stranger, and begin a conversation like I have known them all my life. Some of my friends have witnessed this ability and asked me how long we have known each other. They comment on this from time to time. They look amazed when I say that we just met.

I know many people who do not read very much. I know some writers, but most of my friends are not into the things that I am into. My love for words, research, and turning the appropriate phrase are gifts that make me who I am. Many authors talk about how easily they can find viable ideas. This is one more way that I am blessed.

It is amazing how many gifts I have taken for granted all these years. In listening to the many iterations of “Gifts of God,” I have discovered how wonderful it is to be the recipient of everything large and small that He gives me every day. I hope you see this in your life as well.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger

Friends and family

February 28, 2024

I want to talk to you about some things today. The first is family and friends. I am fortunate that I have had a lot of family all my life. I have two older brothers and a younger sister thanks to my mom and dad. In addition, there was an abundance of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many are now gone, but each generation is larger than the last.

The truth is that we are not as close as we once were. We have family reunions and attend funerals and sometimes even weddings. Not like we used to. The youngest generation doesn’t seem to marry as often as we did. Some of my cousins got married two or three times each. We all just tend to die once and recently we are living longer. I know it isn’t due to healthy living.

What brought on this wave of nostalgia? A commercial about one of these delivery services. A lady is lying in her bed and there is some unidentifiable noise and movement around her. The camera pans back and her bed is caught between two automatic doors. The voice-over says, “If you can’t take your bed to the store” then they will bring whatever you need to you.

Guess what, isn’t that what friends and family are for? In the bad old days before smartphone apps, you just picked up the phone plugged into the wall and called family or a friend to bring you what you needed.

We are suffering from violence, attacks, and other crimes on more people than ever. There seems to be no way to avoid this. My wife and I seldom leave our home at night. We have a security system at our place, and we know our neighbors. We feel secure in our home.

Do we need to have random strangers coming to our homes bringing groceries, medications, and prepared foods? There are cases where these random strangers return later, and you are no longer safe. If I do not know you, I won’t invite you into my home.

We go out to pick up carry-out. We do not choose Door Ditch, Pan Handle Pete, or Consta Cart to bring things to us. We occasionally ask our pharmacy to deliver prescriptions. We used to call the pizza place for delivery until the drivers looked like the perps on Blue Bloods or the undercover cops from Chicago PD. We have taken medicines to our kids for their kids or themselves. Especially when they were quarantined during the COVID-19 crisis.

Have you seen the original Crocodile Dundee movie? You know, the one named “Crocodile Dundee.” There is a scene in it where Dundee is told that the reporter, he is visiting in New York needs to go to a therapist. Mick doesn’t understand. He asks, “Don’t you have any mates?”

Friends and family or mates used to help each other out. They still do in some communities. Our neighbors, church community, and close family still do. I’ve been called by cousins and friends to officiate at weddings and funerals as well as get someone to a doctor or take food to them when they are ill. It costs us money not to have people we trust and on whom we can depend.

The next time you need something and can’t go get it for yourself, stop and think of whom you can call to bring it to you. Can’t think of anyone? How about one of those that you did the same thing for last week? It’s been a while since you helped someone else? Maybe that is the problem?

©Copyright 2024 by Charles Kensinger

Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving?

November 26, 2022
https://youtube.com/watch?v=an7YTh5LBIs

I’ve been hearing the term Friendsgiving recently. My assumption is that this is an alternative celebration for those who cannot or do not want to be with family. I have never been unable to join my family for this holiday. My wife and I have always been close to our parents and siblings or later in life, our children, and grandchildren.

Family is within a drivable distance for us. I know this is not true for everyone. After our family gathering, I am considering how difficult it would be to not have your children, parents, and siblings to share holidays with.

I had one Fourth of July when I was over a thousand miles from home and spent the day by myself with church friends and their families. I wish I had been with my family that summer. I had chosen to work with a mission organization earlier that year. I had started at a new college and saw this opportunity was available in the early fall. I had never been away from home for that long.

I feel the concept of sharing a holiday with friends is an excellent idea. One Thanksgiving our family invited our new pastor and his family to join us because they were not returning home for the holiday. We had a great time and I think it made my relationship with their family stronger.

My problem is with the name. Thanksgiving says what the gathering is about. Friendsgiving includes part of that but does not include the term thanks. If the original was family-giving, the new name would fit. Thanksgiving can be used whether you join with family or friends.

My daughters brought friends home with them when they were in college. One Easter we introduced a friend to dyeing eggs. This young man had never experienced that in his family. New experiences are what life is about.

Friendship is often an ignored type of relationship. Friending is a skill that is not usually printed on a resume when you are looking for a job. It is one of the most essential characteristics an employee or business owner can develop. I say develop because you can learn how.

In high school, I learned to be a better writer, to speak in front of crowds, and to improve my skill of being a better friend. Earlier this year our graduating class had our fiftieth-class reunion. We renewed some friendships and made new friends with people that we never really knew in school.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=5rkNBH5fbMk

Some of our classmates remembered high school as a time they did not wish to revisit. I am thankful that I did not miss the opportunity. Many of the friends I enjoyed at that time were from younger classes. Those in my class were not popular and many failed to come to any of the events. I would like to encourage you to strengthen your ability to make and keep friends. Push hard to accomplish this. Always be friendly. Attempt to make everyone you see each day smile. That has been one of my goals for many years. I hope you will make it yours.

©Copyright 2022 by Charles Kensinger