Javelin catcher
When people start talking about playing football, basketball, soccer, or baseball when they are in high school and ask me what I did, I tell them I went out for track and field. They look at me and ask Which events? My response is javelin catching.
They are always surprised, and I tell them this story. Jim Vaughn was my P.E. teacher. He was the football and track coach. I was a skinny kid who was not very athletic. He asked me to come to tryouts in the spring. I demurred and said I had never been very fast at running. He asked me to come anyway.
On the track, I saw all these young men and ladies jumping, running, throwing, and then I saw the coach. As I walked up to him, he said, “Kensinger, come this way. I walked with him to where the discus, shot put, and javelins were being thrown. He had me try the javelin.
I did not throw it very far, and after trying three or four javelins, he sent me onto the field to retrieve them. As I was walking back, another competitor threw his javelin. They yelled at me to watch out, and I stepped out of the way, turned, and caught the spear in both hands.
Coach sent me back out to snag some more javelins, and I continued to catch ones I was close to. When practice was over, he told me that it was too bad that there was no event for javelin catching. There were liability issues with such an event, and it was never allowed. I told him that it was his fault because he taught football receivers to catch in their bellies. Not a good idea for a sharp object.
Yes, this is a fictional story, and I should change my byline to Chuck instead of Charles for this one. I began telling this story shortly after graduating from high school. I have the same problem that Jesus did. People just don’t want to laugh at my jokes.
He is one of the funniest men I have read about. Have you heard the one about the camel going through the eye of a needle easier than a rich man going to Heaven? The rich Pharisees did not see the humor.
What about when Peter told Jesus that he would not allow Him to die as He had just predicted? Jesus replied, “Get behind me, Satan.” Peter didn’t laugh at that time either, and this time the other disciples did not laugh either. They did laugh when the Lord called the Jewish leaders vipers.
I think I am in fine company because most of us do not know that His jokes were supposed to be funny. I was told by my daughter that I don’t know how to tell a joke. That is why I’ve decided to start charging before I tell a joke; then you will feel obligated to laugh like you do with professional comedians you buy tickets to see, most of whom get their laughs because of objectionable language.
