Love – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

A Day for Love

February 14, 2026

Today is Valentine’s Day. This is the day we celebrate love. We are asked what love is, and we have difficulty answering that question.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV

Yes, this is from The Bible. Do you believe what Paul says in this passage? Is love really that important? The question remains, “What is love?” It is not a feeling or an emotion. Say it with me, “I love you.” I am a word nerd. Break the sentence down. I is the subject, you is the object, Love is the verb.

Let’s let Paul define it for us. First Corinthians goes on in the fourth verse, “⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails.” NIV

Get it? This is the kind of love that Yahweh God has for us. The Greek word is Agape. You are probably thinking of another Greek word that we translate as love, Eros. Our word erotic comes from that word. It is not what most of us want when we think of love on Valentine’s Day.

We want our valentine to cherish us, care more about us than anyone else does. Those of us who are married wanted that on our wedding day. For some of us, it did not last. Are you in love with your spouse as much as you were on that day?

I must confess that I am not. Today, I am more in love with Cindy than I was fifty years ago. Many of you have not lived for fifty years. Our daughters have not. Does that surprise you that we were married before we had children? For celebrities and other influencers now, this is not the norm. It was for us and our parents and grandparents.

You decided that this person was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You did not move in with them or spend the night or the weekend. You said, “I do,” and you meant it and kept your promise. We agreed to stay together in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and we have.

It hasn’t been easy. Love is hard work. “Love is a choice.” Read the book. Not just the one by that name, but the one I mentioned earlier. Read the Bible. That is where I find my answers. You can as well. You must read it to see them. Or you can follow and subscribe here, and I will continue to share what I have read from it. The choice is yours.

True love is worth it

January 26, 2026

You may get tired of hearing me talk about things that I have heard on rom coms. I am married, and this is something that Cindy and I do together. We also make quilts, do home renovations, shop, and visit our grandchildren together. I DVR movies just for me that are not romantic comedies. I get to watch these by myself.

I wanted to speak of true love. Can you define what love is? It is not an emotion. It is not a hole that you fall into. It is something that you choose to do. You love someone that you want to love. Some people get married and then divorce because they do not love their spouse anymore. That is a decision they make.

I hope you have not experienced this. I know some whose marriages ended because their spouse did not want to be married anymore. Everyday Cindy and I decide that we want to love each other. Sometimes this may not be an easy decision for you and your spouse.

That means that we want to be together. We want to be kind and patient. We decide to treat each other as we want to be treated. We stay faithful to each other. We do not have to be together all the time, and we do not have to agree on everything. We do have to decide to go out of our way to get along.

Most couples who have been married for twenty-five or more years feel this way. Feeling trapped after you have been married for five or ten years is normal. What you need to do is determine whether you will stay together. When Cindy and I were married, our wedding vows included “till death do us part.”

We also promised to stay together “for better or worse, in sickness or in health.” Many modern vows I have read in the last forty years do not cover these things. Flowery language is more about a spiritual type or physical form of love, and not a true or lasting love.

Sex is not lasting. Satisfying lust will not sustain you. The next time you and your spouse or live-in have a disagreement, discuss whether you intend to stay together. If you have children together, think of them. Children of parents who do not stay together have emotional problems. They have problems at school and at home. Consider how your relationship will impact them.

I am asked whether I thought Cindy and I would ever divorce. My reply is, “No.” I feel that way because I had no desire to take the easy way out. When we have difficulties, I want to solve them. I am willing to take second place in my family’s lives. Nothing is as important to me as our girls and their mom.

Douloi Marriage

December 16, 2025

Love potion no. 1

November 14, 2025

Do you recognize the song “Love Potion No. Nine?” It originated in 1959, recorded by The Clovers and returned in 1964 by The Searchers when it reached #2 and #3 on the charts. Many other groups have released it. A young man goes to a gypsy and asks for something to improve his love life.

The question I have is “What is Love?” Is it a feeling? Can you get someone to love you if they do not want to? Can you fall in and out of love? These are questions that a lot of people have asked over the years.

Just so you know, I am talking about the Biblical view of the word agape’ that is translated in the King James Version (KJV) of the scriptures. There are five words in the Greek language that are translated love. I like to transliterate, which means I will be substituting agape’ for love in the verses I relate to you.

I will try not to confuse you with this substitution. One of the most used definitions of agape is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, where it says that love is patient, love is kind.

My question when someone asks me if they are in love is, “Are you patient with them?” Patience is what few of us have with others. If we want patience, we want it right now. That is counterproductive. When you are loved with Godly love, they will wait on you to speak, to make decisions, and to meet them in places.

If they are impatient, it is not agape that they have toward you. I started to say, if they feel agape’ love, but agape’ is not an emotion. It is an action. The D.C. Talk song “Love is a Verb” talks about this kind of love. “I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what you’ve heard. Love, love, love is a verb.”

Saying something three times shows that your thought is complete. There is nothing else to say about that. Right, Forest? I often use the phrase, “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” Three phrases complete the thought.

Another question I like to ask is, “Are you kind to them?” That usually generates a weird look and/or a “huh.” God’s type of love is the one where you want to be kind. Not the one where you use them or take advantage of them. They are not your possession. You love a friend with agape’ love. The love that most of us think of is the Greek word Eros. This is sex. I’ve talked about lust before. That is not love; it is physical desire.

If sex is what you thought this column was about, you were wrong. I am sorry, you do not need my instruction in how to sex more often or with someone new. That is not who I am. I want you to have a better relationship with either a husband or a wife or people you have nonsexual relationships with.

That is the end of Love Potion no. 1. We will continue with what love is as no. 2. Those contain, “It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I know I may have lost some of you with patience and kindness. You may not want to come back for the next dose of God’s love potion.

Love in thirty days

October 31, 2025

We just watched another Christmas rom-com in which a couple who start out disagreeing about everything decide they are in love in thirty days or less. This is not reality, or is it? Some believe in love at first sight. There is also the concept of “falling in love.”

Cindy and I began dating in October. By the time I left in June of the next year, we were engaged. That was fifty years ago. Was it love at first sight? No. I realized I loved her after a few weeks and asked her to marry me because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

I asked her out because I liked her. I guess you could say it was like at first sight. The more I got to know her, the more I enjoyed being with her. I decided to love her because I could not imagine my life without her in it. That took longer than thirty days. Not much more, that may be true.

We did not start fighting or disliking each other. We have our squabbles and disagreements from time to time. I learned this from living in a family where love was exhibited every day. Mom and Dad also had disagreements. I remember Mom throwing dishes at my father once.

Romantic comedies, either in movies, TV, or books, must include certain elements of storytelling. Real life may be your story, but it does not have the plot points and character traits that we include in fiction. Life is life, and fiction is fiction. Romance is not necessarily what an author or script writer thinks that it is.

Love is what a couple desires it to be between themselves. What you consider romantic or loving in your relationships may be different from what others would call these descriptors. Dr. Gary Chapman defined five love languages in his books. These methods of communicating love are not accepted by everyone.

Some show love by words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch. There have been jokes made about what a love language is. Portuguese is not a love language mentioned by Dr. Chapman.

You and your spouse may have a different story from ours. If you believe that you “fell in love” at “first sight,” I would like to hear your story. Comment below to share it with me. If you do not wish to share it with my readers, include that in your comment, and I will not release it to anyone else.

The minus

October 27, 2025

Everywhere I look everything seems to be adding a plus. Me-TV+, Hallmark+, and savings plus are just a few of them. This is supposed to show you that something has been added that was not there before. It is better than what has previously been available.

Our society is always wanting the next big thing. New, better, best is what we are always craving. Faster, easier, and quicker are all things that we look for. It occurs to me that what we really need is what we once had. My 1966 Chevy was the best car I ever drove.

Why? It wasn’t just what it had; it was what it did not have. It did not have all the gizmos and gadgets that we need today. All it had was power and the ability to take me where I needed to go fast. It was also the first car I drove that had seat belts. That was the epitome’ of safety for the time.

Maybe what we need most is not more but less. Take away what is not good for us and continue to be what we knew was good. Missouri passed a law that allows sports gambling. We also approved abortion and labor changes that our state officials want to overturn. They think we need more of what they want and less of what we want.

Walk back with me to the things that our grandparents believed in. Mine knew there was a God and that Jesus was His son and that the Holy Spirit could take up residence in our lives. About fifty years ago, I decided to accept that this was true. I’ve lived my life the way the spirit has instructed me as well as I have been able to.

I have had setbacks, but most of my life has been better than I ever imagined. I am not one of those that goes overboard and eliminates modern conveniences from my life. My wife and I have smart phones that link to our car that we drive so that we do not violate current Missouri law.

I like our two air-fryers, microwave oven, and laptop computers. Our house also has a fireplace, skylight, and a landline. We have security on our Wi-Fi, phones, computers, and tablets to prevent hacking. There are so many new things that we do not have. We do not have the systems that we can just talk to and play music or make phone calls.

I enjoy my smart phone because it allows me to read a book anytime I have a few minutes to spare. I also have an audiobook app that I use to increase my ability to read more. Reading is one thing that I do not want less of. Adding people to your life is a plus. Adding things is a minus.

When was the last time you added a new friend? I like to talk to people. Some people don’t do that as easily as I do. Take a chance and talk to someone new. You may find out that you are the kind of person who people want to talk to.

It’s in his kiss

August 20, 2025

Kissing in different cultures means varied things. There are also different types of kisses. On the cheek, the hand, the lips, or even the ear or back of the neck. Kissing in our culture is considered romantic. European, Middle Eastern, and other cultures greet friends and acquaintances with a kiss or two on the cheek.

Handshaking is the American method of greeting in most of our communities. As a Christian and a Baptist, I am very familiar with this process. We often modify the standard handshake. You and your friends or family may have a secret or non-secret way to greet each other. Organizations can have variations on the common greeting.

I want to talk about the romantic type of kiss. One of my favorite subjects for situation comedies. You take a prepubescent girl and a boy of a similar age, and a story of the desire for a first kiss and a distaste for the opposite sex. The variations are innumerable. Almost every TV show has had an episode based on this situation.

We all know that movies often feature storylines about kisses. Romantic comedies almost always require kissing between the two leads. Often, there is this kind of action between those who do not believe they are in love. I can think of many films where young people and sometimes older characters find kissing many others a fun thing to do.

Jewelry companies want us to think that their products will get us kissed. That has not been my experience. I can’t talk a lot about the subject of kissing multiple partners. I kissed two or three other girls before I started dating Cindy. When I began kissing her, I enjoyed it very much.

I think she also enjoyed it. She didn’t like it when I tried to kiss her with other people around. When I kissed her goodnight after a date, she never refused or acted like she did not enjoy it. As our relationship continued, so did my desire to hold her and kiss her even more.

As with most couples, we no longer spend time just holding each other and kissing as we did early in our marriage. Hugging and kissing are still part of our life together. It isn’t as large a part as it was in the early years. Three children, twelve grandchildren, and all of life’s time constraints take a toll.

Intimacy is still important. It is necessary for a strong relationship. It is a form of communication for us. We sleep in the same bed. Share a house and many other things. Our fiftieth anniversary is a year away, and I still enjoy being with her as much as I ever have.

I hope that your marriage is going well, also. A kiss is not the best way to tell if you are loved. Paul gives us a list of things that we should use to indicate if someone loves us. Patience and kindness are two of them. Work on kissing, hugging, kindness, and patience, and I think you will go a long way.

The Book of Love

May 29, 2025

In 1957 the song “Who Wrote the Book of Love?” came out. As a youngster, I did not understand what love was and the actual meaning that question held. Is there a book of love and if so, who is the author? As a writer, authorship is of personal importance. I have learned that the Book of Love is also known as the Bible. It has many authors and many of the Bible books speak of love.

Let’s take the book of Genesis first. Jehovah created the universe. He also made men and women, the Hebrew Nation, and the freewill He gave them caused a lot of trouble for humanity. He showed His love for us by giving us a second chance. Even if you do not believe in a worldwide flood, I hope you can see that exterminating almost all the people on the planet was an act of love.

The next four books finish out what is referred to as The Law. It can be difficult to understand why a loving God would create these rules that many believe spoil their fun. The Law is Yahweh’s love letter to humanity. We rejected His love when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

You and I had no choice at that time. Today, we do have the opportunity to say yes or no to Jesus. He showed His love to us by giving His life to renew the relationship that was lost in the garden. The Law was put in place to show us that we had missed the mark. That is what sin is. Being unable to accomplish what we need to do is a failure.

The books of history from Joshua through Esther tell how Jehovah kept trying to convince the Israelites and Gentiles of God’s love. God guides the Hebrews to take the land He has given them. Killing those who oppose God’s law may not seem like love to you. Jehovah wants the Children of Israel to learn who He is and who He can be to them. Israel as a nation needed to give Yahweh a place to be born and teach us what He wants to do for us.

Poetry like Job and Psalms tell us about love. God’s love is shown to Job by not allowing Satan to destroy him and giving him a new life as we can have through Christ. Look at Psalm 8, 23, or 119. These are love songs from David and others to God. The 119^th Psalm declares the writer’s love for the law, word, and statutes of our Lord.

Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are books of wisdom from Solomon and David. The love of a father is expressed throughout the proverbs and is seen in the frustration of the preacher and his realization that the only thing that we can believe in is Jehovah and His promises.

The greatest love story in the Bible is in the Song of Solomon. The King of Israel declares his love for an unidentified woman. As a teenager, I found the use of certain terms such as breasts to be sexual. They are but God created them and sex. The language describes the sexual desire of a man for a woman. This can be an expression of love.

Both the major and the minor prophets show the love that Jehovah has for the Hebrews as well as all the people of the world. These books predict the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus and identify Him as the son of God and heir to David’s throne for eternity. What more can love be, than that God would become a man and die for us.

The gospels and the book of Acts show us Jesus’ love for humanity and how the plan of salvation through his death and resurrection brings us to new life through Him. His words of love for mankind and His promises to get us into His presence speak volumes.

The New Testament letters all point us to the fact that our only hope is accepting the salvation that Christ brought us. These were written by several men who Knew Jesus both as a man on this earth and as their Savior and Lord after His resurrection.

Revelation is the final statement of God to His followers. He wants us to know that we will win the battle with Satan. We don’t know when this war between Jehovah’s goodness and the rejection of Him which is evil, began. It will end in time at some point in our future. Much of this book is a mystery.

Symbolism is rampant here. The love of Christ which is the love of God is shown in those who love Him coming to be in His presence and those who reject Him will spend an eternity separated from the one they would not even acknowledge existed. Which are you?

Every kiss begins with . . .

May 28, 2025

No, it isn’t Kay or Hallmark. It is with desire. When my wife and I watch rom-coms I have a saying, “It’s a Hallmark.” Most Hallmark movies have the starring couple kissing in the last five to fifteen minutes. Others like Larry Levinson productions have lovers kissing much earlier.

My wife and I kissed for the first time after our first or second date. I can’t remember exactly. I think it was the first time. It might not have been. I know I wanted to kiss her every time I saw her and I still do. This was the start of love.

Remember that I do not believe love and lust are the same. Lust is a kind of desire. Love prompts desires of its own. These are not the same. Love makes you want to be with someone. Not for sex or any of that superficial stuff. You want to spend your life with them.

We have been together for over fifty years. Today is our forty-ninth anniversary. We are both retired now and spend almost every moment together. We don’t have to be together all the time; we just enjoy each other’s company. We share the chores around the house, run errands together most of the time, and still sleep in the same bed.

We both have sleep apnea which means without our CPAP machines we snore. During the first year we dated I spent ten weeks over a thousand miles away for the summer. When I returned home, I had turned twenty-one and decided that we needed to be married as soon as possible after I graduated from college the next spring.

Two weeks after the wedding My job moved us to another city, and this gave me justification for marrying her before she graduated from high school. She completed school in the new community and found a job after she was out of school.

Many people think that if you get married at a young age it will be difficult to stay together. For us that has not been a problem. We have learned that the key to loving each other is forgiveness. Everyone has disagreements and makes mistakes. Don’t let these problems break up your relationships.

What we need to do is watch what we say to each other and forgive when we have differences in opinions. Another requirement is to make compromises. When our first daughter was born Cindy wanted to start a tradition of talking about Santa Claus with our daughter. I disagree with that idea.

I felt that promoting this kind of falsehood in our children’s lives would make them distrust what we told them about Jesus and God. She wanted them to be given the fun things these fantasies could bring. It turned out that we were able to explain the differences between real and pretend at the appropriate ages with each of them. Love sometimes is a compromise.

I think I’m in love.

May 5, 2025

In college, this was a saying that many guys my age used. One of my friends or acquaintances would say this when we say a beautiful girl or woman walks by. A friend of mine at Southwest Baptist College in Bolivar, MO, changed that slightly. He was a ministerial student like me. He changed it to “I think I’m in lust.”

There is a difference between love and lust. Let me define the two words. Love is not an emotion. Lust is a desire for something sexual. I do not like to use dictionaries for words like love. Secular scholars are more interested in contemporary usages of the word and not what the Biblical examples indicate.

I agree with Paul’s definition of the love of God. You’ve read it in First Corinthians chapter 13. It includes patience, kindness, lack of envy, boasting, and pride. This is what we should strive for in our romantic love.

Do you know how to define what you mean when you say “I love you” to your spouse? The Association referred to it as “Cherish” in the song in 1966. “Cherish is the word I use to describe all the feelings that I have” is the opening line. This song also tells us that all the other guys say, “I love you.”

All they want is to touch your face, your hands, or hold you. Others say they will love you all the rest of their lives. When I was dating the girls were warned not to believe us when we said that we loved them. Most of these guys would use the line, “If you really love me, we should have sex.”

I never was one to do that. I had one girlfriend that I learned later and she stopped dating me because I never tried to have sex with her. Cindy will tell you that I haven’t had that problem for a long time.

On television and in movies, young people ask their parents or other adults how you know if you love someone. For me, it was because I wanted to be with her. Not every minute of every day like the songs say. When we are apart, I need to get back to her. I hope you have someone that gives you that kind of security.

This is not sexual. That is why I say that sex is not the same as love. I do not like to use the term making love. That makes love a noun, not a verb. Love is something you do. As Paul says, “It is patient, it is kind, it never fails.”

I explain to those who say that they fell in love and have fallen out of love by adding I did not fall. I jumped in. I can leave if I do not want to continue to love. I have a choice to love or not. It is the same for you. Jump or stay where you are.

Love is a choice as the book title says. It is up to you. Like Doc Brown said at the end of the third installment of the Back to the Future Trilogy, “Your future isn’t set. Make it what you want it to be.”

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Walk With a Servant

Tag: Love