Love – Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Mountains and molehills

June 22, 2026

I’m one of those baby boomers, and I am proud of it. Unlike some of you, I grew up in a time when things were much easier. We weren’t worried about gunmen at school or in the streets. All we had to be concerned about was whether the USSR would decide to drop atomic bombs on us.

It never happened because we had the first nuclear devices and had used them in Japan. They knew our work. Some of the phrases we oldsters use may sound like your teenage speaking does to us. I thought I would discuss them descriptively.

We all know what a mountain is, even though in the Ozark Mountains, they are only hills. Not ones made by moles and yet they are not mountains, either. A mole digs in the ground and tunnels close to the surface, making small, raised patches of earth that are called mole hills. The saying is, “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”

The point of the saying is not to blow things out of proportion. We all tend to give extra power to people and things that are not that important. I have had many bosses over the years who were not liked by some of their employees. This was one of the complaints that often reared its ugly head.

Why were such trivial things so important to those in charge? Many times, the smallest mistakes seemed to be those that management stresses about the most. I have another one that you may not know. “Putting the cart before the horse.”

This one sounds easy to interpret to me, but I have heard it all my life. We all know that if the wagon is ahead of the horse, it cannot push it. He must pull it to move it. What it means is to keep things in their properly ordained places. One time I heard this was when a neighbor’s son got his girlfriend pregnant. That was not accepted in the 1960s.

Another horse saying was, “Hold your horses.” This goes all the way back to when my grandparents were responsible for securing the livestock in their teens. When I was eight, I never thought of them being that young; today, it is much easier. This one means that we need to wait patiently.

“Minding your P’s and Q’s” is a throwback to the days of British public houses. Ale was served in pints and quarts, and the bartender would warn overactive patrons by using this phrase. Get it, Pints and Quarts could be knocked off the bar or tables. In my day, it meant that we should behave. As a child, I heard it a lot.

There are sayings about saving money and not being ripped off. We need more of these today with all the scammers around. “Don’t take any wooden nickels” is the way we said it. Springfield, MO, where I live, had a restaurant called the Wooden Nickel, and I still have one of their basswood nickels with an Indian head on it.

The last one I will mention is “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.” That is an expression of surprise like “Just shoot my foot,” or “When hell freezes over.” By the way, or BTW, I am old enough to have gone to see “Disney’s Monkey’s Uncle” when it first debuted in theatres. Check that one out on Disney Plus.

Ten steps to love

June 16, 2026

This is the title of a Hallmark romcom my wife and I recently viewed. It was an excellent film because the man and woman disagreed about her list-making. I am not a list maker. I do not create any kind of plan for my articles or books. I don’t ever outline a book before starting to write one.

There are many twelve-step programs that you can follow from AA, NA, or any other type of addiction you can imagine. I am constantly reading articles with numbers in them. Five Character Types for Your Novel is just one of them. Numbers seem to be something that a lot of people worry about. I don’t.

My focus is on listening to what my Lord and Savior is trying to tell me every moment of my life. One of the things that I have been working on for a while is a book that I have entitled “Douloi Marriage.” It is a manual for how to serve your husband or wife.

As I have been writing different chapters, one that has developed is Steps to Love. It is based on the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians from the Bible. You know the one that says love is patient and kind. This is the love that Jehovah has for us, and it is the best kind of love for married couples.

Patience is the first step to love because a marriage will not last if you cannot wait for your spouse. Longsuffering is the word in the King James Version. Kindness is next, and a marriage without kindness will never endure.

The next step toward love is to avoid envy. This ugly green monster shows its head when one of the partners feels the other is in a better role. I’ve seen wives who thought that they were required to do all the housework, and the man spent too much time on himself. This can also be reversed in other couples.

Some of the other things that love is not are boastful or proud. Humility embodies these ideas and is our fourth step, which is one of the attributes of Jesus that we all should emulate. Being selfless is another part of our path that we must follow in our marriages.

Getting angry with the one you love is the next emotion that we must avoid in our family life. Keeping records of wrongs can also destroy a relationship. Some of us like lists, and if you are the woman in the movie, the only lists you should have for your spouse are positive characteristics.

The last three steps that must be taken to keep love alive are truth, trust, and continuing to persevere in the relationship. We all know couples who have failed in these steps. These ten methods to keep our love alive can be a great deal of work. As you walk this path, keep in mind that you are a team and together with the Lord, you can accomplish anything.

Love knows no boundaries

May 29, 2026

That is an excellent statement, until I tell you where I heard it. It was an ad for one of the local sex stores. I’ve not been to this establishment, but from the commercials I’ve seen for years, they have anything you need to stimulate your sexual activity. Videos, magazines, provocative garments, and sex toys are some of the things pictured.

Basically, what they are telling us is that sex should have no boundaries. The Old Testament Law sets many limits for sex, only between a man and a woman who are married. No premarital or extramarital relationships are allowed. Some say that the Hebrew scriptures allow multiple partners through polygamy.

That is not the true story that is in the Bible. The Israelites, as well as their neighbors, used these techniques to have large families to work the land. This also happened here in this country until the U.S. law restricted the practice. Utah had to restrict polygamy before it could be granted statehood.

Many Greek words are translated as the English word “love”. One that isn’t even in the New Testament is Eros. This is sexual love, or what I refer to as lust. I’ve covered this before: lust is an emotion, and I define love as a verb.

Phileo is what we consider to be brotherly love. Hence, Philadelphia is called the City of Brotherly Love. Brotherly love is the admiration that we feel for relatives. In some cases, this emotion can also be felt by friends. Once again, it is an emotional type of love.

Family love is Storge in Greek. Again, this is defined as an affection for not only those you are related to, but can also be for friends. C.S. Lewis also included a fifth type of love in his book “The Four Loves.” This fifth is what he defined as the likes that we make into love. That is what it is when you say, “I love chocolate,” or something else that is not really a love.

The fourth love is the Greek Agape, which is the love that Jehovah has for us which is an unconditional love. Paul tells us in First Corinthians chapter thirteen what Agape is. Patient and kind are the positives, and then there are a lot of negatives. He also tells us it is not envious, boastful, conceited, selfish, or acting improperly.

He lets us know that this type of love never ends like the others can. This Agape is what we should strive for with our spouses, family, friends, and even those we consider just acquaintances. Jesus does not restrict His Agape to only those who accept Him as their Savior and Lord. This is why He accepts you if and when you are willing.

I hope that none of my posts are ever listed in the trending bar on any social media pages. I dislike the term trendy or in. The problem I have with this is that shortly after you are in, you are out. I have built my life on just being me, not in, nor out, just strong and steady and the same today and tomorrow.

I learned at an early age that those who were popular in school soon were not popular with those who were ignored by whatever group they were in. That went from church to elementary school all the way through college. I have taken classes since I retired, and continue to see every generation doing this.

I am proud to announce that it is no worse than when I began first grade in the fall of 1960. It has not gotten any better, either. Fortunately, individuals often do not follow the groups and include outsiders in their circle of friends. I have many of these circles.

I used to have those that I worked with, and I changed that to those with whom I once shared office or plant facilities. I have always had friends, family, church families, and ever-popular brothers from other mothers. You know them, I hope. The guys or ladies you have collected over the years that you have known since…

You can fill in the dots. It may be any grade or period. Gary is what I call a hand-me-down friend. He started school with my oldest brother, Kenny, then Bud and I inherited him when the oldest graduated from high school and joined the Navy. Gary joined the Guard and went for his basic training, and then, he and I were at college together.

His nephew Michael was born on my sixteenth birthday, and when he turned sixteen, his family joined our church. On our birthday, we were having a youth fellowship, and when he came into the building, I greeted him with “Happy Sixteenth Birthday, Michael.”

He looked at me and did not even know anything about me except that his parents knew me. “How did you know it was my birthday? Oh, you saw my mom bring in the cake.” I replied, “No, this is my birthday, also, and I am thirty-two today. You were born on my sixteenth birthday.”

I am creating a new circle and not one of influence. It is a circle of readers, and I share with you, and you can return the favor through the comments. We will continue to think about how we treat others and how we want them to act towards us, despite what is trending.

Look at those who are in your groups and discuss whether you agree that we all need to be kinder and pay attention to those who are having problems, and continue to find ways to encourage our friends, no matter where we know and meet them. This is a year-round activity we can all enjoy.

Waffle Cone

May 7, 2026

This is one of my favorite ways to eat ice cream. Whether it is rocky road, butter brickle, brownie fudge, or one of my other favorite flavors, it is always enjoyable. What is not enjoyable is when we or others waffle on decisions. If you are not familiar with this term, I will explain.

Do you have a boss, friend, or someone else who says one thing and then changes their mind? You know the situation. They say do this or that, and then when you start the process, you are told that was not what they meant. It is your fault. It is not because they changed their mind. That is waffling.

It can also be used for those who have trouble making up their minds. This is not as bad as the previously mentioned folks who change your instructions along with their minds. At times, these occurrences are humorous, while others are frustrating.

One of our Presidents many years ago was shown as a waffle in political cartoons because he often changed his mind on whether to sign legislation sponsored by his party. Of course, the artist supported the other candidates. No politicizing there.

I believe everyone should have the right to change their minds. Where I draw the line is when I am asked to change more than once. I had a boss who had this tendency. I never proceeded with a project until I was certain it would not cause extra work.

I have always attempted to have integrity, and part of that is communicating clearly and not moving on to a project until all decisions have been finalized. Jesus told us that a man does not build a tower until he counts the cost, and a general does not attack until he has checked whether he can win with the forces he has.

In my career, I have not been completely diligent about analyzing my own talents and abilities before accepting a new position. I took a marketing director position even though I had no experience or training in that position. It required writing copy, shooting photographs, and making layouts for brochures and catalogs.

These were procedures with which I had a great deal of experience. When I took my first purchasing job, I had already learned about almost every product that I would be responsible for acquiring. This was done as I was a salesman and a manager at retail stores. When asked if I could do the job, I immediately replied yes. It was no a brainer for me.

I was an office manager with a company for a total of eighteen years when our branch manager started fighting breast cancer. I was required to step into her duties and be both the office manager and the branch manager. During my time at these two positions, I also made calls as our salesman and was able to increase the sales for the branch significantly.

Setting your mind on what you need to do and getting it done is the best way to live your life. I’ve been laid off twice and fired once from jobs. The one I lost for cause claimed that I wanted to be terminated.

I returned the day after I was let go to return my keys, and a former employee was at my desk. They wanted to give my position to someone else and did not have the decency to just tell me that. That is not waffling; it is the epitome of bad management. Whenever I hear someone is considering working there, I don’t explain myself; I just tell them to stay away from them.

WEDDINGS

April 23, 2026

Do you like weddings? I do. That is why I have married several different women. No, it isn’t what you think. Cindy is my first and only wife, but I have officiated at many wedding ceremonies for friends and, in some cases, people I did not know until I was asked to celebrate their marriage with them.

The first was Eldon, who was the store manager at the Wendy’s restaurant in Joplin, MO. Cindy and I moved there two weeks after our wedding. I worked at that restaurant from May of that year until September, when I left the Wendy’s of Southwest Missouri family.

Eldon and one of our employees had decided to get married. They were going to have the wedding at her church, but for some reason, her pastor was unable to officiate at the ceremony. Eldon asked if I was legal to perform weddings. At that time, Missouri laws were much stricter about who could officiate a wedding. I checked and found that you did not have to be ordained but only licensed to the ministry, which I was.

That was my first. I have done weddings for my brother Sam and his wife, my sister-in-law Sharon, my cousin Troy and his wife Coleen. I was even able to help another friend I worked with one Valentine’s Day. She had told me that they wanted to get married and had even gotten the marriage license.

On Valentine’s Day, she told me they were going to get married that day. Larry, her fiancé, was at the courthouse trying to find a judge to officiate at the ceremony. I told her to let me know if that did not work out. Later that day, she came back to my office and asked if I could help. We had the wedding that afternoon, and every year on Valentine’s Day, I wish them a happy anniversary.

Not every marriage that I have helped to begin has lasted this long. One may not have made it as long as celebrity weddings. The day after the ceremony, the bride called and asked if I could tear up the marriage license. The copy I left with had already been mailed to the county recorder. I always drop them in a mailbox when I go home after the wedding. I can be fined if it isn’t postmarked within a certain period. She asked what she could do, and I told her she would need to call a lawyer if they could not work it out.

I had only been able to have one counseling session with them because of the time crunch they were in. After that, I was skeptical about officiating at weddings for people I do not know. Since my second daughter was married and I performed their ceremony, I have not done a wedding. Their oldest daughter turns nineteen this year.

Marriage is not what it once was. Today, in Missouri, a twenty-one-year-old and a seventeen-year-old cannot be married even with parental consent. That apparently isn’t important to anyone but me. Cindy was seventeen, and I was the dirty old man of twenty-one when we were married in Springfield, MO, and her mother signed our marriage license.

This is the reason that my state representative will not have my vote this year. He voted for that bill. You may ask why I am so adamant about this. Laws were already in place that prevented parents from filing statutory rape charges for a child who was seventeen and had sex with someone of majority age. Now, the parents of this same person do not have the right to authorize a wedding. To me, that is sanctioning promiscuity.

“It just doesn’t happen twice.”

March 27, 2026

This is a line from the movie “Sleepless in Seattle” that is uttered by Tom Hanks, whose character has lost his wife to cancer. He is talking about love that results in a once-in-a-lifetime marriage. Some refer to this as your soulmate. I do not find this concept ever presented in scripture.

Many of the Bible characters that I admire have had multiple relationships that worked. Abrahm and Sarai are an epic. He’s not the perfect husband. She sticks with him even when he wimps out, and not just once. By the time Jehovah renames them to Abraham and Sarah, his faith has grown, and she has learned to trust her husband and God.

After the birth of Isaac and the death of Sarah, Abraham finds other wives and has more children. Those relationships are also important. Their children are the ancestors of many of the Arab nations that hate the Jews.

David’s first wife is the daughter of Saul, who was rewarded for killing Goliath. Read the stories of Abigail and Bethsheba and others. Then there is the last woman in his life. Her one purpose is to keep him warm at night. There is no sexual desire. There is no marriage. She’s a bed warmer. A companion.

As our lives progress, we have many types of love. There are flaming romances. We all experience friendships with others, in both genders. Love can be for both men and women for both men and women because sex is not love. One is physical, and the other is not.

There is brotherly love, which can also be called sisterly love. This is a friendship that is cultivated by those who have it. We need more people who treat others like family. That is the essence of this type of love.

Next, we should talk about the love of parents for children and vice versa. Some believe that this is normal for everyone. It is not. Some children are given up by their birth parents because they do not want them. There are also cases where one parent will leave. Often, this is a problem between the couple. Sometimes it is just selfishness that overrides love.

Jesus tells us that the one attribute we Christians should have is love. Jehovah told the Hebrews to love their neighbor as they love themselves. One man asked Jesus who his neighbor was. Do you remember the answer? He did not say it was the people next door or across the street.

He told a story that many people have heard, even if they have never read the Bible. It is called the Good Samaritan. Samaritans were hated by the Israelites. They lived in what had been the ten northern tribes that rebelled against Solomon’s son.

The kicker of this is that the Samaritan rescued a Jew who had been attacked and left for dead. Jesus also mentioned that a Priest and a Levite saw the injured man and crossed the road to go around him. When our savior spoke of love, it was agape, not any of the human loves. This type of love must happen more than just once.

My boys and girls

March 26, 2026

I have often written about my eighteen years of teaching youth at Hamlin Church. Before that, I taught fifth and sixth-grade boys there, as well. I have been a children’s church director on two different occasions while at Hamlin. It has been my church home for over forty years.

My reason for this column is to thank all the men and women that I have had the pleasure of serving over the past fifty or more years as a leader in churches. I spent one summer in Pennsylvania and eighteen months in Joplin, MO, and the balance of this time here in Springfield, MO.

I can cite the names of some of the hundreds of kids and young people that I worked with as a leader, teacher, and minister. You are all my kids. I see some of you frequently, and some I have not visited in person for over fifty years. I’ll tell you about the recent ones.

There was Jason, Ryan, Mendy, Jody, Matt, Michael, Kara, Herschell, Kevin, Brandon, Gina, Cara, Stephanie, and others. I am so proud of all these individuals, as well as the ones that I have not seen for too many years. Some of them are doctors, nurses, teachers, ministers, businessmen and women, and in practically every profession you can imagine.

I cannot count the number of men and women that I have had the privilege of serving. I’ve been a teacher, friend, mentor, and supporter as they learned and grew. I’ve worked with their parents, grandparents, and families to encourage them to become the wonderful parents and grandparents they are today.

To say that I am proud of them is an understatement. My part was very minimal in their lives. They were under my tutelage for only a couple of years, but I have followed them as they have grown, been educated, married, and had children. Some are better known to me than others. All of them have made me proud to know them.

We have three daughters, three sons-in-law, and twelve grandchildren that I am also extremely proud of. My love for them is unbounded. My ministry is not over, and it will continue until my health restricts me or Jesus calls me home.

Love languages

March 14, 2026

Have you been hearing all the things about love languages lately? There is a cereal commercial where a lady states that her love language is Portuguese when they say that this cereal is someone else’s love language. Then another guy is talking about insurance, and a woman says he is speaking her love language.

Let’s talk about what is meant by a love language. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages in 1992.” The five things that he refers to as love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

It has become so popular that not only are they making fun of it, they are also mentioning it on talk shows, situation comedies, and I even saw an episode of “Blue Bloods” where they discussed it seriously. There have even been magazine articles that discussed the book.

I’ve read one of the many knockoffs that have been published to try to profit from an idea in a book that was just written to help couples. Dr. Chapman is a Christian counselor who is not motivated by money. As an author, I understand how the publishing industry works. One best sellers generates thousands of copycats hoping to score some bucks.

Look at the racks in any store. Which authors or topics are available where you shop? How many are alike? Have you watched when new movies and TV shows premiered? Does it occur to you that when someone has an idea that makes a lot of money, others try to catch their coattails?

Let’s talk about the real love languages Gary shows us. Words of affirmation are just speaking positively to the people you care about. Do not criticize them or call them names. Don’t do this to those you do not like, and not to someone you love.

Time is fleeting, and we all only have twenty-four hours in a day. When we were dating, I wanted as much time with Cindy as I could have. When I was away from her for ten weeks that first summer, I decided never to do that again, and I didn’t.

Receiving gifts does not have to be a new car or jewelry like the commercials tell you. Dr. Chapman explains that a single flower, or a note on the mirror, the pillow, or in the lunch bag, will say “I love you.”

If you’ve read my memoir, Doulos, you know that I am into being a servant. This is not my love language, but it is my ministry. In the book I am writing, “Douloi Marriage,” I give examples of why and how husbands and wives can and should be servants.

One thing I did when my wife was a stay-at-home mom was to cook on the weekends. Now I am the chief cook and bottle washer full-time and have been, since I retired and Cindy was still employed.

This last one can be a little tricky for some couples. We men often want to take the least touch from our wives, or that she will allow us to give to her as an invitation for sex. This is not what is meant by physical touch. It can be important to the person whose love language is touch, or it may not be.

A kiss, a hug, holding hands, an arm around them when you are sitting together, your head in their lap, or their head on your shoulder can be enough to express your love. Discover their love language and speak it often. Or use all five and see which they respond to the most.

Spiritual fruit

March 10, 2026

Can I tell you that I do not mind being called fruity, if you are referring to the fruit of the spirit? These are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As a Christian, this is how we should measure ourselves. Don’t fall into the trap of being judgmental. It is easy to do.

Galatians 5:22 begins with love. It is interesting that Paul also includes patience as the first attribute of love in First Corinthians 13 when he defines Agape’ for us. Kindness is also included in that list. I think he is trying to tell me something. Patience and kindness are important. We should not ignore the other parts of love. No envying, rudeness, selfishness, irritability, or resentment are also part of how God loves us.

Joy and peace are two words to look at more closely. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is also temporary if we let it be. Fruitful joy is hard to accomplish without Holy Spirit. Joy does not mean that you never have a bad day. When things are not going your way, joy lets you realize that things will become better. We let our minds betray us into thinking that our life is bad when it is just life.

Peace also can elude those who work without Him. It is not the absence of conflict. It is the presence of love and joy. Do you accept what the Lord has given you? Paul tells us to give thanks in all things. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) He also states in Philippians 4:11 that he has learned to be content. Notice the use of the word learned. Contentment is something we must also train ourselves to have.

Patience is the most difficult thing for me. “Lord, give me patience and give it to me now, it is what I usually pray. That prayer may miss the mark. Be careful about asking for it. His answer will continually test you. Patience is hard because we live in an instant society. We have our phones with us and can call, text, or check the internet thousands of times a day. I grew up at a time when we did not even have a home phone.

We all know how to be kind, good, and gentle. These may need to be tweaked by the Spirit. Follow His guidance, and you will arrive quicker. Again, these need to be intentional. We know what to do; we just need to be reminded to do it all day long. Practice it, and it will become as automatic as breathing or your heartbeat.

Self-control is another tough one. Notice that the word control follows self, indicating who should be in control. For Christians, we can hand this job over to Holy Spirit, if we will let Him take leadership of our lives. That becomes easier the more you do it.

I desire that you all become fruitier as I try to do the same. I mentioned judgment earlier. Let’s avoid that and try for discernment. (1 Corinthians 12:7-11) This is one of the gifts of the Spirit. You cannot have these gifts if your spirit is still dead. A relationship with Jesus is needed for the rebirth of your spirit. (John 3:1-21) After you start that relationship, the fruits will appear if you cultivate them.

Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Walk With a Servant

Tag: Love