Tag: mental-health

The minus

October 27, 2025

Everywhere I look everything seems to be adding a plus. Me-TV+, Hallmark+, and savings plus are just a few of them. This is supposed to show you that something has been added that was not there before. It is better than what has previously been available.

Our society is always wanting the next big thing. New, better, best is what we are always craving. Faster, easier, and quicker are all things that we look for. It occurs to me that what we really need is what we once had. My 1966 Chevy was the best car I ever drove.

Why? It wasn’t just what it had; it was what it did not have. It did not have all the gizmos and gadgets that we need today. All it had was power and the ability to take me where I needed to go fast. It was also the first car I drove that had seat belts. That was the epitome’ of safety for the time.

Maybe what we need most is not more but less. Take away what is not good for us and continue to be what we knew was good. Missouri passed a law that allows sports gambling. We also approved abortion and labor changes that our state officials want to overturn. They think we need more of what they want and less of what we want.

Walk back with me to the things that our grandparents believed in. Mine knew there was a God and that Jesus was His son and that the Holy Spirit could take up residence in our lives. About fifty years ago, I decided to accept that this was true. I’ve lived my life the way the spirit has instructed me as well as I have been able to.

I have had setbacks, but most of my life has been better than I ever imagined. I am not one of those that goes overboard and eliminates modern conveniences from my life. My wife and I have smart phones that link to our car that we drive so that we do not violate current Missouri law.

I like our two air-fryers, microwave oven, and laptop computers. Our house also has a fireplace, skylight, and a landline. We have security on our Wi-Fi, phones, computers, and tablets to prevent hacking. There are so many new things that we do not have. We do not have the systems that we can just talk to and play music or make phone calls.

I enjoy my smart phone because it allows me to read a book anytime I have a few minutes to spare. I also have an audiobook app that I use to increase my ability to read more. Reading is one thing that I do not want less of. Adding people to your life is a plus. Adding things is a minus.

When was the last time you added a new friend? I like to talk to people. Some people don’t do that as easily as I do. Take a chance and talk to someone new. You may find out that you are the kind of person who people want to talk to.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger

Bullies need love, too

March 10, 2025

When I was growing up, I encountered my fair share of bullies. I was a math and English nerd. I had no athletic talents and was literally the proverbial 98 lb. weakling. In other words, I was a bully magnet.

My oldest brother was bullied as well. When he was in the third grade another boy picked on him. One day he came into the house from school with his shirt torn and his nose bloodied, Mom turned him around and told him not to come back home until the other kid looked worse than he did.

He came back about ten minutes later and told Mom she needed to go down the street to our grandparents’ house. When she arrived there, Aunt Mildred told her Kenny had the other boy down banging his head against the sidewalk. If she hadn’t stopped it, he might have killed the other kid.

Mom made a prediction that day that turned out to be true. She said, “That kid will never pick on him again.” It did not just work for him but for my other brother and me as well. I did not have to worry about bullies until I was in seventh grade.

I was in my first fight that year. My friend Vern and I and another kid were in the auditorium waiting until we were allowed into the rest of the building. The other boy walked up to me and hit me in the chest. I hit him once in the face. You should not mess with a kid with two older brothers. He was still unconscious when the bell rang, and we went to class. He never bothered me again.

He wasn’t the only aggressor I encountered in Junior High and both Central and Hillcrest had their share. Not all the people in my life who wanted to push me around have done it physically. I’ve had demanding bosses and business associates who thought I should roll over and let them lie, cheat, or violate laws.

I let them know that I would not be a part of this type of behavior. I’ve quit jobs, in some cases simply tolerated unacceptable behavior in hopes the offenders would learn from the way I treated them, and terminated employees when I had the authority to do so.

This is the best way to put a domineering person in their place. Terminate the relationship. Quit the job. Dump the person who only wants to criticize you. The controllers also need to be shown the door. Be sure to do this before you marry them.

People are all different. Some of us don’t get along. Others need to work on it hard. Then some are never happy unless they get their own way. If they can’t compromise and you don’t want to, think about who the bully might be.

God has shown me some bullies can be tamed by treating them with kindness and patience. You may have to hope that others can be corrected by someone else. Some will never be reached by anyone. Don’t become discouraged. Keep trying.

It is frustrating that our country has decided to reward a bully by making him our chief executive. He is not the first leader who thought he could force his way on everyone else. Adolf Hitler tried it. Germany allowed him to demolish their government and become a dictator. It took the U.S. and most of the world to defeat him. We must remember not to roll over and play dead like some of them did.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger