Watching a movie, I was reminded of parenting skills that Cindy and I have learned. We knew little of these techniques when our first child was born. As our kids grew, we grasped concepts from our folks. Some, we decided, had worked. Others were thrown out with that day’s garbage.

I will share some of the better ones with you:

Give your kids space. The time to keep them close is when they are young. As they grow, the time and type of closeness also change. Each person is different in the freedom they need. Some of us need our parents for a longer period than others may.

Set rules, but as they mature, make them guidelines. Every child needs to learn how to operate in the world they will live in. Your job is to teach them how to make the decisions they will need to make to live in a civilized world. Not all the prisons and graves are full of the children of bad parents. Some kids turn out decent despite being taught the wrong things.

Be their parent and remember that someday you want to be a friend. Try to be friends too soon, and they will not have the chance to be instructed by the parents that we all need. I never had to make it without my mom and dad. They were strict when I needed it and a friend when it was called for. We raised our kids the same. Now they have their own kids and don’t need parents. We are friends, advisors, and help them when they ask. 

Quality time also means more time. Some parents think that the few minutes they give their children are enough if they are used well. When I ask what they do with them in those short periods of time, they have no actual answers. Usually, they can’t remember what they do with their kids.

There are books on parenting that are helpful and ones that are full of a lot of crap. The ones that helped us might not be as useful for you. You must keep in mind that your child(ren) are unique individuals. You are the one who will help them become adults. What type of grown-ups will they be? That is not your choice; it is theirs.

Children should be given responsibilities that are suitable for their age.  Toddlers should pick up after themselves. They should eat, sleep, and listen to instructions. Don’t wait until they rebel against being treated inappropriately to allow them to mature. Think about the mistakes your parents make and realize that sometimes, when you think you are helping, you are not.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger