It’s just business

I hate that saying. I hear it in movies and TV shows but have never heard it in real life. This phrase is usually proceeded by “It isn’t personal.” But it is personal in business, if you want your commercial relationships to succeed. When your business isn’t personal it will most likely fail.

Relationships must be personal or else they will not work. The opposite of personal is impersonal like immoral is not moral. Let me tell you about the similarities and contrasts in my life for the last seventy years. I should probably say sixty-five because I don’t remember much before 1960.

My parents made raising my brothers and sister and I a job that they participated in. We rarely had a babysitter. My oldest brother could watch us by the time I was eight or nine and our parents allowed that from time to time. This was usually at home, but he also took my other brother and I to the park, school, and the movies.

He and the rest of my family were there for us. They did it because they cared about us and not because someone paid them to do it. I remember going to my uncle Dean’s home for a family event after we had an accident in our car. He saw the damage and proceeded to do what he could to repair it quickly. I thought of that day when we were at his funeral.

My first boss, when I turned sixteen, demonstrated that you can operate a business providing teenagers with work experience and a paycheck while encouraging them to work hard. Our daughters were fortunate enough to have a similar experience in their early years. It was personal and not just business.

I’ve spent over fifty years in ministry and after a few years I determined my ministry was in the workplace. I was to serve the people I encountered in business and just in life for Jesus. I have been a friend, a listening ear, a confidant, and even a pastor to many even though I have never pastored a church.

I have performed weddings, funerals, and answered questions about anything they would ask. I have answered the tough questions. I think the hardest was, “If God created everything, who created God?” The answer, “He has always existed. That is what makes Him God.” His name is “I am that I am.” I knew this question was coming and did not know the answer until it was asked. In that moment, I just answered what came to my mind through Holy Spirit.

If you think the decisions that you make in your business life are not personal, let me ask you to put yourself in place of the one that is affected. If you were laid off, had your pay frozen, or refused a promotion, would you accept this as just being business? Decisions should affect everyone in the company, not just certain people or departments.  

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

Tools

I’ve used a lot of them in my life. This is the first in a series of columns that are on these useful instruments. Anthropology tells us that these are signs of creatures being humanlike. Genesis does not bother to tell us when the wheel or other tools were invented.

Fire is another tool that Moses did not see fit to discuss. Much has been written about it. I’ll talk more about it another time. When I saved this file, I had to put it in a category, and I chose the Words file. They are one of my favorite tools.

The thought that sparked this article was my splitting maul. I know many of you are not familiar with this apparatus. I purchased mine over thirty years ago. We had moved onto Talmage Street to the second home that we owned. It had a wood stove in the family room.

These were invented by Ben Franklin. The wood stove, not the splitting maul. Our stove was not a Franklin type, but it was efficient enough to supplement the heating in our four-bedroom, two-bath house. I am probably incorrect when I say Ben invented the stove. He developed the Franklin Stove. I also probably need to be more specific about wood stoves.

In the nineteen-eighties I saw a picture of a wood stove that was only good for one use. It was not safe. It was made of wood. I am talking of a steel unit designed to burn wood. Today I split wood to fuel our fireplace in our current home. This is considered a luxury item in today’s standards.

Before gas, coal, or central heating, it was common in every structure. Our first load of wood was purchased by my mother. It came cut and split. Have you seen those small bundles of wood at grocery and home stores? They usually appear in the fall. Those are for apartment dwellers that have a fireplace for decorative purposes.

Some of my friends began bringing us cut logs for our stove. It must be sacked and cured to burn properly. I cover mine with a tarp to keep it relatively dry. It was not long before I became aware of our need for a device to split the larger logs. That is when I purchased my maul. You can split with an axe, but it is not as efficient as a triangular head mail.

I learned this from my travels as a salesman at the time. Some of my customers sold these items in many designs and styles. I even called on one plant that manufactured stoves, which stocked assorted accessories for the stoves. I discussed the splitting mauls with the salesmen at these companies and discovered one that I thought was best for me.

It has a heavy triangular steel head welded to a steel handle with a cushioned grip. Buying it was the easy part. Learning how to use it properly has taken me many years. The best way that I have discovered is to place the log to be split on a shorter log. You raise the maul and allow the weight of the head to propel it down with the aid of gravity.

The trick is to hit the end of the log in a spot that will split. This takes trial and error with each different log. That first winter after I had my maul, I learned the best time to split wood was when it was frozen. The fibers are more rigid and separate more easily at twenty degrees Fahrenheit or less.

I am sure many of you wonder why I just wasted your time explaining all of this. That is the thing about all tools. Some of us use them, and others care less about those they do not need. Is that how you treat people? I hope not.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

Every kiss begins with . . .

No, it isn’t Kay or Hallmark. It is with desire. When my wife and I watch rom-coms I have a saying, “It’s a Hallmark.” Most Hallmark movies have the starring couple kissing in the last five to fifteen minutes. Others like Larry Levinson productions have lovers kissing much earlier.

My wife and I kissed for the first time after our first or second date. I can’t remember exactly. I think it was the first time. It might not have been. I know I wanted to kiss her every time I saw her and I still do. This was the start of love.

Remember that I do not believe love and lust are the same. Lust is a kind of desire. Love prompts desires of its own. These are not the same. Love makes you want to be with someone. Not for sex or any of that superficial stuff. You want to spend your life with them.

We have been together for over fifty years. Today is our forty-ninth anniversary. We are both retired now and spend almost every moment together. We don’t have to be together all the time; we just enjoy each other’s company. We share the chores around the house, run errands together most of the time, and still sleep in the same bed.

We both have sleep apnea which means without our CPAP machines we snore. During the first year we dated I spent ten weeks over a thousand miles away for the summer. When I returned home, I had turned twenty-one and decided that we needed to be married as soon as possible after I graduated from college the next spring.

Two weeks after the wedding My job moved us to another city, and this gave me justification for marrying her before she graduated from high school. She completed school in the new community and found a job after she was out of school.

Many people think that if you get married at a young age it will be difficult to stay together. For us that has not been a problem. We have learned that the key to loving each other is forgiveness. Everyone has disagreements and makes mistakes. Don’t let these problems break up your relationships.

What we need to do is watch what we say to each other and forgive when we have differences in opinions. Another requirement is to make compromises. When our first daughter was born Cindy wanted to start a tradition of talking about Santa Claus with our daughter. I disagree with that idea.

I felt that promoting this kind of falsehood in our children’s lives would make them distrust what we told them about Jesus and God. She wanted them to be given the fun things these fantasies could bring. It turned out that we were able to explain the differences between real and pretend at the appropriate ages with each of them. Love sometimes is a compromise.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger