Kindness Matters

“I was doing eighty on the highway because the Vice Principal said my second grader was caught “distributing contraband” in the cafeteria. I thought he had drugs. I was wrong. It was pepperoni.

I walked into the administrative office still wearing my work boots, drywall dust on my jeans. The secretary looked at me like I was going to track mud on her carpet. I didn’t care. I just wanted to see Leo.

I found him sitting on the “Cool Down Chair” in the corner of Vice Principal Miller’s office. He didn’t look scared. He didn’t look guilty. He looked confused. His hands were folded in his lap, and there was a smudge of tomato sauce on his chin.

“Mr. Russo, thank you for coming so quickly,” Mrs. Miller said. She was a nice enough woman, usually, but today she had the posture of a steel beam. “We have a zero-tolerance policy regarding the exchange of food items. It’s a liability issue. Allergies. Sanitary concerns. We simply cannot have students passing food around like… like it’s a free-for-all.”

She slid a discipline across the desk. Incident: Unauthorized distribution of lunch materials. Defiance of cafeteria protocol.

“He gave away his lunch?” I asked, looking at Leo. “That’s why I’m missing a half-day of pay? Because he gave away a slice of pizza?”

“It’s not just the pizza, Mr. Russo. It’s the defiance,” she sighed, adjusting her glasses. “The lunch monitor instructed Leo to keep his food to himself. He refused. He insisted on giving half to a classmate, Samuel. When told to stop, Leo argued with the monitor.”

I turned to my son. “Leo, buddy. Look at me. Why did you do that? You know you’re supposed to eat your own lunch.”

Leo looked up, his big brown eyes filled with frustration that seemed too heavy for a seven-year-old.

“Sam didn’t have a tray, Dad,” Leo said. His voice was small but steady.

“What do you mean?”

“It was Pizza Friday,” Leo explained, as if that explained everything. In elementary school, it basically did. “Sam got in line, but when he got to the register, the lady took his tray away. She threw the pizza in the trash bin behind her and gave him the cold cheese sandwich in the plastic bag. She said his account was ‘in the red.'”

I felt a tightening in my chest. I knew that term. I knew the ‘Cheese Sandwich of Shame.’ It happens when parents forget to load the lunch account or when money is tight.

“Sam started crying,” Leo continued. “He didn’t want the cold sandwich. He was hungry. So, I broke my pizza in half. I gave him the big piece.”

“And then?” I asked.

“Then the monitor came over and took it away from Sam. She threw that piece away, too. She said I was breaking the safety rules.” Leo pointed a small finger at the wall behind Mrs. Miller’s desk. “She said rules are rules.”

I looked where he was pointing.

Directly behind the Vice Principal’s head was a massive, laminated poster, decorated with bright primary colors and cartoon stars. It was the school’s motto for the year.

KINDNESS MATTERS.

Below it, in smaller print: In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

Leo looked at me, then at Mrs. Miller. “Dad, I’m confused. The poster is big. The rule book is small. I thought the big poster was the boss.”

The room went silent. The air conditioner hummed. Mrs. Miller opened her mouth, then closed it. She looked at the liability forms on her desk, then she turned around and looked at the poster she walked past every single morning.

The monitor said I was being bad,” Leo whispered. “But if I ate my pizza while Sam cried… wouldn’t that make me bad?”

Mrs. Miller took off her glasses. The corporate stiffness drained out of her shoulders. She was suddenly just a person in a room with a father and a son who had asked a question she couldn’t answer with a handbook.

“It’s a policy, Mr. Russo,” she said, her voice softer now, almost apologetic. “We have to protect the school from lawsuits. If Sam had an allergy…”

“Does Sam have an allergy?” I asked.

“No,” she admitted. “But we have to assume…”

“I know,” I cut her off. I stood up and pulled out my wallet. It was thin, but I had enough. “How much is Sam’s debt?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sam’s lunch account. How much is he in the red? Five bucks? Ten?”

“Mr. Russo, you don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t have to. I want to. How much?”

She typed for a second. “Four dollars and fifty cents.”

I pulled out a twenty. “Clear it. And put the rest on Sam’s account for next week. And if Leo gives him a slice of pizza again, please just… look the other way.”

I didn’t wait for the change. I signed the disciplinary slip—admitting my son was a “disturbance”—and walked out with Leo holding my hand.

We walked to the truck in silence. I buckled him in.

“Am I in trouble, Dad?” Leo asked, looking at his knees. “I promise I won’t do it again.”

I started the engine and turned to him.

“Leo, look at me.”

He looked up, bracing for the lecture.

“You are not in trouble,” I said firmly. “You did the right thing. The school has its rules, and they must follow them to keep their jobs. But you have a heart, and you have to follow that to keep your soul.”

“But they threw the pizza away,” he said sadly.

“I know. Sometimes doing the right thing makes a mess. Do it anyway.”

We stopped at a pizza place on the way home. I bought two large pepperoni pies. One for us, and one for Leo to take to school on Monday, just in case.

As I watched him eat, getting sauce all over his face again, I realized something terrifying.

We spend eighteen years trying to program our kids to fit into the system, to sit still, to stay in line, to follow the handbook. We teach them that “compliance” is the same thing as “goodness.” But today, my seven-year-old showed me that sometimes, you must break the rules to keep the promise on the wall.

Civilization isn’t built on handbooks and liability waivers. It’s built on breaking your pizza in half when your friend is hungry.

If that’s a punishable offense, then I hope my son stays a criminal for the rest of his life.”

I found this on Facebook, and it was not accredited by any author. This is why we should never accept the authorities that claim something as they see it. Rules and manuals are just that. Kindness is a law of God. I think we all need to follow it. If this is your story, please advise me and I will reassign the copyright when you provide proof of authorship.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

Every kiss begins with . . .

No, it isn’t Kay or Hallmark. It is with desire. When my wife and I watch rom-coms I have a saying, “It’s a Hallmark.” Most Hallmark movies have the starring couple kissing in the last five to fifteen minutes. Others like Larry Levinson productions have lovers kissing much earlier.

My wife and I kissed for the first time after our first or second date. I can’t remember exactly. I think it was the first time. It might not have been. I know I wanted to kiss her every time I saw her and I still do. This was the start of love.

Remember that I do not believe love and lust are the same. Lust is a kind of desire. Love prompts desires of its own. These are not the same. Love makes you want to be with someone. Not for sex or any of that superficial stuff. You want to spend your life with them.

We have been together for over fifty years. Today is our forty-ninth anniversary. We are both retired now and spend almost every moment together. We don’t have to be together all the time; we just enjoy each other’s company. We share the chores around the house, run errands together most of the time, and still sleep in the same bed.

We both have sleep apnea which means without our CPAP machines we snore. During the first year we dated I spent ten weeks over a thousand miles away for the summer. When I returned home, I had turned twenty-one and decided that we needed to be married as soon as possible after I graduated from college the next spring.

Two weeks after the wedding My job moved us to another city, and this gave me justification for marrying her before she graduated from high school. She completed school in the new community and found a job after she was out of school.

Many people think that if you get married at a young age it will be difficult to stay together. For us that has not been a problem. We have learned that the key to loving each other is forgiveness. Everyone has disagreements and makes mistakes. Don’t let these problems break up your relationships.

What we need to do is watch what we say to each other and forgive when we have differences in opinions. Another requirement is to make compromises. When our first daughter was born Cindy wanted to start a tradition of talking about Santa Claus with our daughter. I disagree with that idea.

I felt that promoting this kind of falsehood in our children’s lives would make them distrust what we told them about Jesus and God. She wanted them to be given the fun things these fantasies could bring. It turned out that we were able to explain the differences between real and pretend at the appropriate ages with each of them. Love sometimes is a compromise.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger

The invisible woman

I sat in the campus union at my local university in the 1970s.  A fellow student stops near me and asks about the book I am reading.  The title is “Invisible Man.”  She mentioned she had read the book, and we spent the next few minutes discussing the plot and what each of us found interesting about the book.  The conversation lags and she walks away.

Over fifty years later I am reminded of this situation and begin to contemplate some things that I have not mentioned yet.  First, the book I was reading was Ralph Ellison’s “Invisible Man” and the book we discussed was H. G. Wels’ book “The Invisible Man”.  Ellison was a current black author who wrote a detailed account of growing up black in America.  The young lady that stopped to talk to me was also African American and at the time I found it humorous that she did not know the book I was studying for a contemporary literature class.

The point that strikes me as unusual today is that this girl was very attractive, and I let her walk away without even considering acquiring her phone number.  Was she flirting or just being friendly?  If she was flirting, why did I not pick up on that and flirt back?  Was it because I was raised that blacks and whites should not date or marry and it never occurred to me that she might be interested in me?  Or could it be that I was just too shy to have the guts to ask for her number? 

The question is, am I a bigot because I never thought to flirt with an attractive African American woman who was my contemporary, or was, I just raised to be polite unless the lady did more than just talk to me, I did not assume that she wanted or expected anything more?

I have thought about the possibility of whether I am prejudiced or not. I admit that I do have my prejudices. They are not based on race, culture, origin, or beliefs. I often judge people as being stupid. As Forest Gump’s mother said, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Do we even know what that means? To me, stupidity is what we do. Ignorance is not having knowledge. Foolishness is lacking wisdom. Wisdom comes from God and age. Stupidity is a human characteristic. We all do things that can be referred to as stupid.

It may have been stupid for me to not take an opportunity to get to know that lady better. An invitation to the student union would have been appropriate. Continuing a conversation about science fiction could have been easy for me. I have read not only H. G. Wells but Jules Verne, Arthur C. Clark, and many other authors since that time. In another semester at that institution, I took a science fiction class. It was the first offered there and is standard now.

My problem was my inexperience with dating. I had only one girlfriend at that time. I dated her off and on for five years. Shortly after this encounter, she told me that we should not continue to date. I then began looking for girls to date. I never ran into that young lady again. I have wondered if another chance would have ended differently.

It was almost two years later before I met the woman who was to be my wife. I like to think that God brought her to me at the correct time. None of the others I dated were someone I could not live without. It has been said, “Marry the person you can’t live without, not just someone that you can live with. I did that.

©Copyright 2024 by Charles Kensinger