Tag: True Love

Ten steps to love

June 16, 2026

This is the title of a Hallmark romcom my wife and I recently viewed. It was an excellent film because the man and woman disagreed about her list-making. I am not a list maker. I do not create any kind of plan for my articles or books. I don’t ever outline a book before starting to write one.

There are many twelve-step programs that you can follow from AA, NA, or any other type of addiction you can imagine. I am constantly reading articles with numbers in them. Five Character Types for Your Novel is just one of them. Numbers seem to be something that a lot of people worry about. I don’t.

My focus is on listening to what my Lord and Savior is trying to tell me every moment of my life. One of the things that I have been working on for a while is a book that I have entitled “Douloi Marriage.” It is a manual for how to serve your husband or wife.

As I have been writing different chapters, one that has developed is Steps to Love. It is based on the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians from the Bible. You know the one that says love is patient and kind. This is the love that Jehovah has for us, and it is the best kind of love for married couples.

Patience is the first step to love because a marriage will not last if you cannot wait for your spouse. Longsuffering is the word in the King James Version. Kindness is next, and a marriage without kindness will never endure.

The next step toward love is to avoid envy. This ugly green monster shows its head when one of the partners feels the other is in a better role. I’ve seen wives who thought that they were required to do all the housework, and the man spent too much time on himself. This can also be reversed in other couples.

Some of the other things that love is not are boastful or proud. Humility embodies these ideas and is our fourth step, which is one of the attributes of Jesus that we all should emulate. Being selfless is another part of our path that we must follow in our marriages.

Getting angry with the one you love is the next emotion that we must avoid in our family life. Keeping records of wrongs can also destroy a relationship. Some of us like lists, and if you are the woman in the movie, the only lists you should have for your spouse are positive characteristics.

The last three steps that must be taken to keep love alive are truth, trust, and continuing to persevere in the relationship. We all know couples who have failed in these steps. These ten methods to keep our love alive can be a great deal of work. As you walk this path, keep in mind that you are a team and together with the Lord, you can accomplish anything.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

Love knows no boundaries

May 29, 2026

That is an excellent statement, until I tell you where I heard it. It was an ad for one of the local sex stores. I’ve not been to this establishment, but from the commercials I’ve seen for years, they have anything you need to stimulate your sexual activity. Videos, magazines, provocative garments, and sex toys are some of the things pictured.

Basically, what they are telling us is that sex should have no boundaries. The Old Testament Law sets many limits for sex, only between a man and a woman who are married. No premarital or extramarital relationships are allowed. Some say that the Hebrew scriptures allow multiple partners through polygamy.

That is not the true story that is in the Bible. The Israelites, as well as their neighbors, used these techniques to have large families to work the land. This also happened here in this country until the U.S. law restricted the practice. Utah had to restrict polygamy before it could be granted statehood.

Many Greek words are translated as the English word “love”. One that isn’t even in the New Testament is Eros. This is sexual love, or what I refer to as lust. I’ve covered this before: lust is an emotion, and I define love as a verb.

Phileo is what we consider to be brotherly love. Hence, Philadelphia is called the City of Brotherly Love. Brotherly love is the admiration that we feel for relatives. In some cases, this emotion can also be felt by friends. Once again, it is an emotional type of love.

Family love is Storge in Greek. Again, this is defined as an affection for not only those you are related to, but can also be for friends. C.S. Lewis also included a fifth type of love in his book “The Four Loves.” This fifth is what he defined as the likes that we make into love. That is what it is when you say, “I love chocolate,” or something else that is not really a love.

The fourth love is the Greek Agape, which is the love that Jehovah has for us which is an unconditional love. Paul tells us in First Corinthians chapter thirteen what Agape is. Patient and kind are the positives, and then there are a lot of negatives. He also tells us it is not envious, boastful, conceited, selfish, or acting improperly.

He lets us know that this type of love never ends like the others can. This Agape is what we should strive for with our spouses, family, friends, and even those we consider just acquaintances. Jesus does not restrict His Agape to only those who accept Him as their Savior and Lord. This is why He accepts you if and when you are willing.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger

True love is worth it

January 26, 2026

You may get tired of hearing me talk about things that I have heard on rom coms. I am married, and this is something that Cindy and I do together. We also make quilts, do home renovations, shop, and visit our grandchildren together. I DVR movies just for me that are not romantic comedies. I get to watch these by myself.

I wanted to speak of true love. Can you define what love is? It is not an emotion. It is not a hole that you fall into. It is something that you choose to do. You love someone that you want to love. Some people get married and then divorce because they do not love their spouse anymore. That is a decision they make.

I hope you have not experienced this. I know some whose marriages ended because their spouse did not want to be married anymore. Everyday Cindy and I decide that we want to love each other. Sometimes this may not be an easy decision for you and your spouse.

That means that we want to be together. We want to be kind and patient. We decide to treat each other as we want to be treated. We stay faithful to each other. We do not have to be together all the time, and we do not have to agree on everything. We do have to decide to go out of our way to get along.

Most couples who have been married for twenty-five or more years feel this way. Feeling trapped after you have been married for five or ten years is normal. What you need to do is determine whether you will stay together. When Cindy and I were married, our wedding vows included “till death do us part.”

We also promised to stay together “for better or worse, in sickness or in health.” Many modern vows I have read in the last forty years do not cover these things. Flowery language is more about a spiritual type or physical form of love, and not a true or lasting love.

Sex is not lasting. Satisfying lust will not sustain you. The next time you and your spouse or live-in have a disagreement, discuss whether you intend to stay together. If you have children together, think of them. Children of parents who do not stay together have emotional problems. They have problems at school and at home. Consider how your relationship will impact them.

I am asked whether I thought Cindy and I would ever divorce. My reply is, “No.” I feel that way because I had no desire to take the easy way out. When we have difficulties, I want to solve them. I am willing to take second place in my family’s lives. Nothing is as important to me as our girls and their mom.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger