This is the title of a Hallmark romcom my wife and I recently viewed. It was an excellent film because the man and woman disagreed about her list-making. I am not a list maker. I do not create any kind of plan for my articles or books. I don’t ever outline a book before starting to write one.

There are many twelve-step programs that you can follow from AA, NA, or any other type of addiction you can imagine. I am constantly reading articles with numbers in them. Five Character Types for Your Novel is just one of them. Numbers seem to be something that a lot of people worry about. I don’t.

My focus is on listening to what my Lord and Savior is trying to tell me every moment of my life. One of the things that I have been working on for a while is a book that I have entitled “Douloi Marriage.” It is a manual for how to serve your husband or wife.

As I have been writing different chapters, one that has developed is Steps to Love. It is based on the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians from the Bible. You know the one that says love is patient and kind. This is the love that Jehovah has for us, and it is the best kind of love for married couples.

Patience is the first step to love because a marriage will not last if you cannot wait for your spouse. Longsuffering is the word in the King James Version. Kindness is next, and a marriage without kindness will never endure.

The next step toward love is to avoid envy. This ugly green monster shows its head when one of the partners feels the other is in a better role. I’ve seen wives who thought that they were required to do all the housework, and the man spent too much time on himself. This can also be reversed in other couples.

Some of the other things that love is not are boastful or proud. Humility embodies these ideas and is our fourth step, which is one of the attributes of Jesus that we all should emulate. Being selfless is another part of our path that we must follow in our marriages.

Getting angry with the one you love is the next emotion that we must avoid in our family life. Keeping records of wrongs can also destroy a relationship. Some of us like lists, and if you are the woman in the movie, the only lists you should have for your spouse are positive characteristics.

The last three steps that must be taken to keep love alive are truth, trust, and continuing to persevere in the relationship. We all know couples who have failed in these steps. These ten methods to keep our love alive can be a great deal of work. As you walk this path, keep in mind that you are a team and together with the Lord, you can accomplish anything.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger