Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

I just heard about this program that began in September of 2023. It was started by the Healthy Living Alliance of the Ozarks. The hope is to reduce the suicide rate for men in our area. Men account for 80% of suicide victims in our country. We are only around 50% of the population.

Why do we kill ourselves more often than women? We have been told not to cry. We are to man up and internalize our emotions. We do not want to look weak in front of our wives, kids, and other men. When we do not ask for and receive help, this causes us to fall victim to depression and succumb to unhealthy emotions.

This new program is supposed to get you and me to ask each other, “Hey man, you good?” Then as we tell each other, “Yeah, I’m fine” don’t accept that answer. Ask questions. Confess your own times of needing help. Ask for help and offer it.

I want you, my readers to know that I am like 53% of men in Greene County and had thoughts of suicide in the last year. Earlier this year, I walked away from home with the intention of not returning home alive. Others intervened and I was not successful. Without their help, I would not be here.

That was not the first time I wanted my life to end. I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to recognize that I am no different from you. If you have never felt this kind of frustration with your life, count yourself fortunate. My hope is to get you to open up and share your story.

Start with me. Comment below and let’s share e-mail addresses. If you are close to Springfield, MO, let’s meet. I will share what gets to me and why I need help. You can tell me what’s up and we can find some others that we can join and back each other up. For those that are not local to me, we will put you in contact with men in your area that will be your support group.

We know we can’t continue to do this alone. Let’s be men, take charge of our lives and admit that we need each other. It is not just your life. It includes your family and friends. Doctors are researching the effects of genes on suicidal tendencies. This will take years to determine. I can answer some of these questions now.

Suicide is contagious. It is hereditary. There is no bacteria, virus, or gene that transmits it. It is passed along by making others think that what we did is acceptable to them. Have you heard the question, “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it as well?” This is the attitude at work here.

When we use drugs, alcohol, or sex to deal with our problems the first time, we are not considered an addicts. We follow the lead of others to begin. These things are known to be unhealthy if not controlled properly. Our emotions are the same. Letting them control us is not beneficial.

Don’t let depression, anxiety, or grief drive your actions. You can oversee your decisions. No one and nothing should be your boss. You hold the reigns. Drive your own wagon. Substances, emotions, or others should not be allowed to determine your path.

Remember the next time you talk to family or friends to ask how they are. Do not always take the answer that they are fine as the last word. Follow Regis Philbin’s lead and ask if that is their final answer. Let them know that you care about how they are. Be a true friend and show concern.

In his book “Manhood”, Senator Josh Hawley talks about a friend that took his own life. The last time he spoke to him he thought that something was wrong. As we men are prone to, he did not pry. Now he wishes he had. If you have not read this book, you need to. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman. Republican or not.

Hawley explains what a man should be and why. I find his explanations and reasoning to agree with my own beliefs. Check it out and make your own decision. Your eyes might be opened.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger