Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

Remind me

November 14, 2023

Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood recorded this song in 2011. They have reprised this song on many occasions. It has received numerous awards. Why? This isn’t just Paisley’s song that he co-wrote with someone else. It is possibly your song. I know it is mine and my wife’s.

It has wide radio and internet play. The critics have a difficult time with it because they don’t think Underwood and Paisley have voices that work together. I am not talking about artistic production. I want to speak to you about the story the song tells and the number of couples it touches.

want you to understand why I have posted so many videos of these two for this column. They are not a couple. The passion that they have when onstage or behind microphones in the studio demonstrates their talents as entertainers. We believe they are a married couple that has lost the lust that we all had in our marriages when we started.

I am going to remind you. When you first started dating your spouse you were nervous and uncertain of whether this was the real thing or not. A few weeks or minutes later that feeling that some call love hit you. Like the couple Brad wrote about, you may have been told to get a room.

It may have been at school where your relationship began. If so, you probably know the phrase public display of affection. PDA is something that we still remind young people to avoid at church and school. Most of us want that feeling of uncontrollable passion again.

Your making out may have interfered with travel plans as it does in this story. In the early days of your marriage, getting to work on time might have been a problem. I remember those days. I also remember the afternoon I picked Cindy up at the bus station in Joplin, MO.

After two weeks of marriage, I had to go help open a new store. I drove our car and spent the week in a motel alone. On Friday she joined me. I needed to get back to work after taking her luggage to our room. There was also something else that we needed to do. It was one of the reasons we married.

In my mind, I changed the lyrics to “so on fire and so in lust, way back then we couldn’t get enough.” Was there a look in her or his eyes that you had not seen for a while? Remind them. Do not assume that they know that you still love them. Remind them.

What made you love this person that you married because of that love? Did you stop them just for a kiss? Was it flowers or love notes? Maybe it was the occasional surprise date that you have no time for now with work and kids. Don’t just fall into bed tonight. Intentionally take them in your arms and remind them of how much you love them.

In every marriage, there is one person who wants sex more often than the other. It is not always the male. I know some couples where the wife wants more passion in the marriage. I often speak of love languages. If you do not know his or her language, how can they know that you love them? After all, love is a choice, and you may have changed your mind.

I teach that sex and love are not the same concept. These lyrics celebrate the passion of the marriage bed. We are also reminded that after one, five, ten, or fifty years the lust that made us want to love each other is gone. Remind me.

Commercials # One

November 8, 2023

I watch commercials. I am a fan. Not all advertising meets my criteria. I am critical of those copy-writers that make fun of us. The ads running with the councilor that is helping young homeowners not become their parents is especially offensive.

Two of our three daughters and their husbands own their homes. The finance company is also a shareholder. They are not becoming us. They all have some similarities to us and our in-laws. They are their own individuals. However, I shave my father in the mirror most days. On other days I do not shave.

My children’s parents do not post pictures of meals and parties. Some of them and their children do. My life is not boring. If it was, you would not be reading my columns and books. I rest my case and my backside.

I am friendly, even on elevators. I also have bad jokes. At least my kids and grandkids say they are bad. I do not understand why they use my material if it is not worth laughing at. Some of them have been handed down for generations.

Then there is the TV commercial about the in-house composter. I recycle a lot of things. I follow the adage “reduce, reuse, recycle.” However, I believe that composting is best done on the ground. I have buried the leaves and food waste for many years. My garden beds are raised. That makes it easy to recycle food and yard waste. I no longer dig 3x3x6 foot trenches in my garden. It was an effective visual for the young men who wanted to date my daughters.

All the insurance commercials drive me up the wall. While I am sitting on the ceiling I compare Flo, Evie, the Allstate guy, the cartoon general, the toucan, and all the other spokespeople. You can insure your car, life, health even for your pets, and all the expensive toys you own.

There is even insurance that is represented as warranties. Everything stops working at some point. Pay a monthly fee and someone else will pay some of the repair expenses. Be sure to read the fine print. What they tell you in the commercial is not what you thought you heard. Listen for “starting at,” “beginning with,” “from,” and all those other words that require thousands of words to cover their rears.

The ads for the portable fire pits that show their product in many settings with different folks around them are some of the best I have seen. They are simple and understated. The main purpose of advertising is to make you remember their name. I remember some of the company’s names I have shared here. There are those that I couldn’t give you even if I wanted to.

What are your favorite commercials and why? You may not see many except for the ones that pop up on your phone or streaming service. Mostly those are short and sweet which is what makes the best advertising. If there is a small print on the screen or *, &, #, or other non-verbal communication do not agree to anything before you read everything. Happy hunting.

HIGHWAY & HEDGES MINISTRY

November 7, 2023

In forty years of ministry, it has often been asked, “You’re a minister? Which church do you pastor?” The explanation is often difficult. Not all ministers are pastors of churches. When the calling came, it was to full-time gospel ministry. That was a term that had a lot of possibilities.

At the time, the pastorate was the assumption. Music ministry is not this Christian’s gift. My passion was for the written word. God could not use that. Or could he? Lesson plans have been conceived, drawn up, and used. They were not published, yet. Plays, skits, monologues, etc. have been created and performed. Once again they have not been published as yet. Articles have been written and published, but just in the past fifteen years.

Full-time does not necessarily mean that you make your living by it. As the road has taken a salesman to different locations, ministry has been accomplished. As others came to a purchasing agent or manager, the same has happened. Stories about these encounters are numerous. Some are shared in “Doulos”, others have yet to be written down. You may see these in later pieces.

Ministry by definition is difficult to pin down. A cup of cold water is a ministry. A kind word or listening ear may be another. A bowl of stew or other nourishment may be another way to serve some. A listening ear and shoulder to cry on is another way to help.

Another thing I have learned is that every believer is a minister. Accepting this call may seem difficult for many people. I remember the days when I could not speak to people without having my knees knock together. When I accepted the call to serve, I struggled with being the kind of person Jesus could use.

Because I expected to be bivocational, after college I went into secular business. Christians in the workplace can be good employees. They can also be available for prayer and listening to difficulties. Training is not needed for most of us to be friends.

Jesus told a parable about those invited to a wedding feast. When the servants returned to the groom’s father and said that none of the invited guests would come to the dinner, they were instructed to go into the highways and hedges and bring in anyone who would come. That may be your ministry. People from work or school need comfort or help. Those standing in line at Wal-Mart may need a smile or a “good” joke. Ministry is not hard, but it can be challenging. What is your challenge?

Cat’s Cradle memories.

November 1, 2023

Wayne Glenn played The Cat’s in the Cradle this morning and reminded me that this song came out in 1974. Yes, I was listening to the radio that year. One recollection is being in my darkroom with music playing and stopping to pay attention to the words of this song.

Cat’s Cradle was one of the childhood games that could be played with just a piece of string. Everyone knew someone who had been “born with a silver spoon in their mouth.” These might not be really rich people, their parents just had to have a newer car or bigger house than you. In those days, we Baby Boomers were very familiar with nursery rhymes like “Little Boy Blue” and we often stood staring at the moon till we could make out the face of the “Man in the Moon.”

The story of this folk song is one of what is called a dysfunctional family today. In ’74 these ideas would not have come into my mind. The concept of not seeing your Father every night and not having both Mom and dad participating in the child-raising was a foreign idea to me. Kids who were stuck in these circumstances were few and far between in my circle.

The one I bring to mind now is Rob. His Dad was a trucker like mine. His father drove long haul which my father would not accept. On the night Dad passed away, my Mother and I sat and talked in their home about him. This was the first time I learned that he refused to accept offers to drive for companies that would require him to be on the road for days or weeks at a time.

One of my Dad’s favorite songs.

Mom thought he should accept one of these positions because it would mean much more money for our family. My Father wanted to be able to care for his children and wife personally every day. Shortly after this, I was allowed to travel in a sales territory that required two nights away from home once a month. I did not realize the effect this would have on my children.

On my first trip, my wife told me this story when I called in the second night. Our oldest daughter’s teacher asked if there was a problem at home. Heather had sat on the playground that day at recess and did not play with her friends. When asked if she did not feel good or if there was another problem, her response was negative. Cindy advised the teacher that I was gone for two days and it was the first time I had been away from home like this. The thought of how much my girls missed me made me cry.

I felt this was just part of the kids growing up. To provide for them, I would do what I had to. Over the years, jobs that I tried to get that would have taken me away from home even more were never obtained. My Lord Jesus took care of my daughters, even when I did not follow the example of my dad.

These are the thoughts going through my mind today. I never had to worry when Dad was coming home. No, our house was not as big as others. Our car was not brand new until we kids started leaving home and there was more money available. Mom and Dad both worked, but we knew we were important to them. Our only disputes were over who was treated better than the other three. This happens with four kids naturally.

We get together with our children and grandchildren as often as we can. We never have to worry about them retaliating because of something we failed to do for them. If you can join us, good for you. If not, an apology may be in order. Forgiveness is still possible.

Get behind me, Satan

October 30, 2023

Do you recognize this quotation from Jesus? Matthew and Mark, both tell us this story. Matthew 16:23 tells the same story Mark gives us in chapter 8 and verse 33.

The story begins with the Pharisees asking for a sign. They have seen Jesus heal hundreds of people. He has cast demons out of others. The demons have tried to announce to bystanders that Jesus is the Son of God. Others recognize that He is the Messiah or Christ. The anointed one is another prophetic name that is used for Him.

Jesus later asks the disciples who the people think He is. They list names I have stated and others. He then asks who they say that He is. Simon calls Him the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Can you get more specific than that?

This is when Jesus starts to tell them that He will be persecuted and crucified and will arise on the third day. He does not stop reminding them of this coming event. He wants them to understand that it is necessary for Him to die and be raised from the dead.

This first time Peter objects. The Apostles will not allow Jesus to die. They will give their lives for Him. That is when the Lord states, “Get behind me, Satan.” Jesus recognizes that Simon Peter does not want to lose His friend and teacher. Satan wants to convince the Savior to become a king like David.

Peter was chastised for this statement. I make comments to others that should never have left my mouth. I criticize, contradict, and constrain the faith and lives of those around me. I may give them the idea that they must agree with me or that I think less of them. It is difficult to keep these thoughts from becoming words.

How do we stop the concepts and ideas in our minds from emanating through our voices? Can we prevent the thoughts in the first place? It is difficult. It can be done. Reject these concepts as soon as they inhabit your mind. That is what Jesus did. Peter voiced Satan’s desire and he was called out on what he was really saying.

He did not wish to stop Jesus from doing what the Father had sent Him to accomplish. The disciples expected a kingdom to be established in Jerusalem. They did not realize that first, salvation for the world needed to be purchased. The death and resurrection of a sinless human was required. No one could do this but Jehovah.

We know Him as God’s son. Jesus Christ is another name and title He is known by. He is also the I Am. It is difficult for us to recognize Jesus as Yahweh. It is easier to think of the Father, the Son, and Holy Ghost. He is a triune being like us. We were made in His image.

Simon Peter knew the man Jesus was the foretold Messiah. The Jews had been waiting for Him to defeat the Romans and take the throne of Israel. All twelve, as well as hundreds of others, could be mobilized to fight for Israel and their King. That was not his mission. But after He arose from the grave, He told them He would return to be their King. I’m still waiting. Are you?

Are you more important than anyone else?

October 19, 2023

Driving through Springfield streets it can often be noticed that certain people do not obey traffic laws, signs and stop lights. As a Christian you may wonder who these people are or, hopefully not, you may find yourself participating in these unlawful and unsafe practices. The only explanation for this is that those who ignore common sense or instruction and posted ordinances believe they are better than everyone else.

Why you should stop at yellow and red lights.

Some examples of this observed behavior are those who do not attempt to stop when the traffic light turns to yellow. When the Springfield Police cars and Greene County Sherriff cruisers do this it is common knowledge that they do not have to obey the laws they are paid to enforce. Why should they set the example by stopping just because the light has turned yellow. Those who drive through red lights must just be off duty officers that know they won’t get any tickets. How many people are killed in accidents when the instruction of a light is ignored? No more than two hundred or so each year. Who cares about that small a number?

It isn’t always the motorist’s fault.

Bicyclists can go anywhere they want to because they are cutting down on the pollution by riding. Sidewalks are alright unless you look at local ordinances. Just because there is a marked lane showing the cyclists to follow the flow of other vehicles that doesn’t mean you can’t travel on the wrong side of the road and cuss the drivers that aren’t paying attention to you being where you aren’t supposed to be. If you are hit and killed by a motorist, they will be blamed and must live with it, not you.

Roundabout gymnastics.

Do you like round-abouts? Is that why you do not yield to traffic that is going around the circle? Those of you that drive your trucks over the center destroying the expensive landscaping do not care that we all had to pay for it. What is even better are the medians that are placed between the lanes on small two-lane roads for no good reason other than for idiots to drive in the wrong lanes.

Both motorists and cyclists can be in the wrong.

I won’t even talk about the motorcyclists that we are all reminded to keep safe by watching for them as they speed between lanes of traffic to get in front of cars. It is especially enjoyable to watch them pop their wheelies as they race down the road. The last thing I want is to drive over them when they wipe out on a grease spot.

Another accident averted.

The two biggest problems are inattentiveness and impairment. Missouri finally has decided to make texting and the use of handheld phones while driving illegally. It only causes ten percent of the traffic fatalities each year according to the CDC. Many of these are single car accidents. They account for sixty percent of deaths. Thank you for not taking me with you.

Only 29 deaths every day nationwide are caused by impaired drivers. That is why they are allowed to offend again and again. They lose their licenses and keep driving. They kill others and continue to be released after a few years to kill again. Why isn’t this stopped? Check you local, state, and federal law makers to see what percentage of them have had DUI’s. Maybe we should check the records before we vote for them?

Thank you for letting me rant. I know you won’t do anything about it until someone you care about dies. Watch out for those other motorists who don’t care about you. Or maybe that includes you and I?

10 REASONS NOT TO RELOAD THE TOILET PAPER DISPENSER

October 14, 2023

The dispenser in the men’s room that is closest to the office at the Springfield business always seems to be out of TP when it is needed the most. While contemplating this sad state of affairs and reloading it, these reasons why one might not want to do this task came to mind. Most would not apply to a Christian because of the command to be a servant.

It is not your job. While working in food service, a printed job description was provided that included cleaning and restocking the restrooms every hour as needed. Since it did not specifically mention this product, it might not be your job.
It is below my pay grade. Why not perform tasks that are below your pay scale? It must mean that you are doing something and getting paid more than you should. Isn’t that what everyone wants?
It is above my pay grade. A philosophy of always demonstrating the positions above one’s capabilities and job can lead to a promotion and raise in pay.
There has been no training for the job. Really? You are not smart enough to know how to load a dispenser. The key is in the lock on the top. Anyone with half a brain should be able to reload it.
This is personal time. Yes, it is. But, if you are on the clock, you can take a few minutes to change a roll of toilet paper.
It is demeaning. No one will see you. They will not think less of you. They will even appreciate you if they are the next one to use the facility.
It is unsanitary. The paper is wrapped. You unwrap it, throw away the old core, and put the new roll on the dispenser.
Where is the spare tissue kept? In this case on a shelf in front of you. Open your eyes.
No one else seems to be willing to do this job. And that makes you another nobody.
If you wanted to, you could. There is not really a good reason not to. You are inconsiderate and uncooperative.

Stop and consider your place of employment. What are the small things that others ignore that you could accomplish for them? During my working years, I looked for any way I could learn more and become more beneficial to the company. I began as a fry cook when I was sixteen. I’ve worked my way up to management for more companies than I care to think about. That was by doing anything I could for anyone. I suggest that you try the same things I did to advance your career.

Marriage

October 4, 2023

Once again, I would like to give you my definition of an expert. Let’s break the word down. Ex means former or has been. The difficult part is the spert. It should be spelled spurt and is a big drip under pressure. That means that an expert is a has-been big drip under pressure. I don’t want to be one.

I will simply claim to be a long-time practitioner of marriage. I do not have all the answers. I’m not sure that after forty-seven years I know half of the questions. I think the key to keeping a marriage healthy is like anything else. Give it what it needs.

When Cindy and I became engaged, it was because I wanted to be with her more than anyone else. She was having a bad day and said that she did not believe anyone loved her. This feeling had not been caused by me. Later it would be my fault. This night it was not.

I told her that I loved her. She did not seem to believe me. We had been dating for a few months and this was not the first time I used that particular four-letter word. It is easy to say. It is much more difficult to prove. My evidence of my LOVE was to tell her that I wanted to marry her and spend my life with her.

She hugged me and kissed me and said yes. Today couples sometimes have elaborate proposals. They have engagement parties and lavish weddings. Many have already been living together and should know each other. I know couples who married after a child was born.

None of these things are any better than our way. We have stayed together this long because we are willing to work for it. Another of those dreaded four-letter words. What I mean by work is that we give each other what we need. We both need support, approval, companionship, and understanding. These things are not easy to do.

I must put myself in her shoes quite often and try to decide what I am doing wrong. She does the same thing. Neither of us can expect to have our own way. We make decisions together and most of the time we agree. If not, we make compromises.

We gave our daughters an example of how to do this thing called marriage. They seem to be figuring it out as well. I warned those men about what they were getting into. They can’t blame me that their wives act like women. I also gave the girls the best advice a father could. I told them that boys are scum.

Facebook won’t let me post that. I am the editor of my web page. I allow it. With this explanation. I did not want them to marry a boy. They needed a man. Maybe like me or maybe not like me. That was their choice. He needed to be a grown-up. And they did, also.

If you are having trouble in your marriage. Are you both acting like adults? Childishness can be fun. It can’t last our entire lives. Give your spouse what she or he needs. Start with those four; support, approval, companionship, and understanding.

If you have more to add to this list, do it in the comments. I will continue this conversation with you later. We all need to contemplate our strengths and weaknesses. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Where you want to be.

June 22, 2023

Like everyone else, I started out life as a baby. I ate, slept, and pooped my diapers. My mother would add that I screamed a lot for no good reason. They called that the colic. Today I am pushing seventy very hard. I can do much more than I once did and have learned what it is to be retired.

The problem is that most days I am simply tired from sunrise to sunset. It takes little to wear me out. I’ve always wanted to advance myself. I remember the books my older brothers brought home from school. Bud was in first grade and Kenny was in third grade. Kenny’s books were not much more difficult than Bud’s.

I learned this as I listened to them read and my first older brother studied his alphabet. He started with Dick and Jane books. I had those down two years later when I began first grade. That year my brothers were in the third and fourth grades respectively. Our oldest brother had to take the third grade a second time because of his reading.

Life had many choices. It also included tragedies. Mom lost a baby between Vanessa and I. I did not know the word miscarriage then. Dad finally had his daughter four years after me. President Kennedy was assassinated. I learned that word the hard way. My grandparents all died by the time I was ten.

In the fifth grade, I had no choice about studying Spanish. That was required in our school. How hard you worked at it was up to you. My best friend Rob and I did not agree completely on this. When we went to Junior high, I took Spanish, but he did not. That was where I met Vern. We took Spanish III as freshmen in high school.

Being in Spanish at Pipkin meant that I was not in the English class that met simultaneously. Those students produced our school newspaper. I learned Spanish because a good reporter needed more languages than English. Latin and French were the only other choices available in High School.

I chose my classes to prepare me for college. I selected the Missouri University Journalism School as a high school freshman. I had trouble speaking in front of crowds. Water Cronkite did not. I enrolled in speech during my sophomore year to overcome that deficiency.

I also had a typing class that year. And chemistry. That was just for fun. Junior year was when I had Journalism I and I was the feature editor my senior year. This was a disappointment. I wanted the editor position. Mrs. Backlund saw that my strength was in more creative writing.

I did not receive a scholarship to MU that year. I did receive a scholarship to Southwest Missouri State University in my hometown. My plans changed. Two years at SMSU as a creative writing major and then at J school at UMC. SMS had no journalism program.

During my sophomore year in college, my plans changed again. God called me to full-time Christian ministry. I thought that meant I would be a pastor. My three years in Speech and debate would be advantageous there. When the acceptance letter to Journalism school came, I ignored it. Instead, I transferred to Southwest Baptist College thirty miles north of Springfield in Bolivar, Missouri.

Two years there and I would go to seminary. That was not God’s plan either. My degree in Religion meant something to a few people in the business world. I knew nothing about workplace ministry then. I spent over forty years as a salesman, purchasing agent, and manager in many companies. At each position, my heart and ears were open to co-workers.

When you retire, everything changes. I can no longer be in the workforce due to health issues. How do you minister when there are no co-workers to serve? That is where these columns come into play. My desire to write has stayed with me. Now you are my congregation.

Continue to follow where I am going as I proceed to the place where God is leading me. It may be a winding road. I hope it will not be a roller coaster ride. I get sick on those.

Doulos (Chapter Three)

June 14, 2023

Walk With a Servant

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