Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

February is called the month of love due to the fourteenth. In past years, I have written an annual Valentine’s Day column. I have decided to spend this month posting as many pieces about love as I can. Let’s begin by talking about what most people think love is.

Ask a dozen people what love is, and you will receive four or five answers like, “a warm hug,” “a puppy,” or my favorite “how you feel about someone.” In my opinion, love is a verb. It is an action. You show love by doing something for someone.

Examples are cooking dinner, doing chores they dislike, and taking them somewhere you do not want to go without telling them you don’t want to go there. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Try it. They’ll like it.

When you love someone, you will be a servant to them. You will do what they need you to do without them having to ask. We usually have two problems in this area. We want them to do things for us that we don’t tell them about. We try to do things for them that they want to do themselves.

I don’t like to clean or do laundry. If you want to be of service to me, come do those. You might want to cook me a meal. That would be fine from time to time. If you truly love me, let me do the cooking. You should help with the things I do not want to do.

Do you understand this? When my wife was a stay-at-home mom, she cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids, and all the other things that a home needs to do. On my weekend off I cooked and helped with everything else. She mowed the yard for me and ran errands I had no time to take care of. We serve each other.

I did not ask her to do all the “woman’s work” because of my love for her. She did not require me to complete all the “man’s work” as well as working 40+ hours a week. We are also DIYers. I know what Labor Day means because most of these holidays were spent working on our home.

We refinished three rooms of oak flooring. Ripping out carpet and painting walls and ceilings. Then we tore up our bedroom, hung sheetrock, painted it, and installed new trim. Before we sold that house, we remodeled the kitchen and dining room which involved installing and finishing two more oak floors. The only room we did not touch was the family room.

We’ve been here for twenty years now. This house needed no work when we moved in. In the years we have been here we’ve painted, laid new carpeting, replaced kitchen backsplash, and other items. Life and love are work. Don’t believe people who tell you they are not.

Love is being there for the person you say you love. It is the ups and downs of the relationship. It is the commitment that you keep to each other. It is refusing to allow anyone or anything to come between you. Love is a verb.

©Copyright 2025 by Charles Kensinger