Charles (Chuck) Kensinger

You may get tired of hearing me talk about things that I have heard on rom coms. I am married, and this is something that Cindy and I do together. We also make quilts, do home renovations, shop, and visit our grandchildren together. I DVR movies just for me that are not romantic comedies. I get to watch these by myself.

I wanted to speak of true love. Can you define what love is? It is not an emotion. It is not a hole that you fall into. It is something that you choose to do. You love someone that you want to love. Some people get married and then divorce because they do not love their spouse anymore. That is a decision they make.

I hope you have not experienced this. I know some whose marriages ended because their spouse did not want to be married anymore. Everyday Cindy and I decide that we want to love each other. Sometimes this may not be an easy decision for you and your spouse.

That means that we want to be together. We want to be kind and patient. We decide to treat each other as we want to be treated. We stay faithful to each other. We do not have to be together all the time, and we do not have to agree on everything. We do have to decide to go out of our way to get along.

Most couples who have been married for twenty-five or more years feel this way. Feeling trapped after you have been married for five or ten years is normal. What you need to do is determine whether you will stay together. When Cindy and I were married, our wedding vows included “till death do us part.”

We also promised to stay together “for better or worse, in sickness or in health.” Many modern vows I have read in the last forty years do not cover these things. Flowery language is more about a spiritual type or physical form of love, and not a true or lasting love.

Sex is not lasting. Satisfying lust will not sustain you. The next time you and your spouse or live-in have a disagreement, discuss whether you intend to stay together. If you have children together, think of them. Children of parents who do not stay together have emotional problems. They have problems at school and at home. Consider how your relationship will impact them.

I am asked whether I thought Cindy and I would ever divorce. My reply is, “No.” I feel that way because I had no desire to take the easy way out. When we have difficulties, I want to solve them. I am willing to take second place in my family’s lives. Nothing is as important to me as our girls and their mom.

©Copyright 2026 by Charles Kensinger